Strength
by LivNel4ever
Summary: She turns over in her bed and stares at the clock, the red light mocking her. Another dream about him. When would the taunting stop? She feels like a damn fool for still loving him. EO!
1. Chapter 1

**a/n: Re-posting this chapter--had to fix those errors that were driving me mad---sorry it's not a new chapter!**

It had been three years. Three long difficult years. Sometimes when she sleeps at night she misses his touch, misses his smell, hell she even missed his snoring. But it was over. She had to move on. She couldn't do this to herself anymore, it was too hard and it wasn't fair.

She understood why he left, she didn't like it, but she understood. What she didn't understand was why he never answered her letters; all 24 of them had gone unanswered. She wrote him every month giving him updates on her life, on their life. She will never forgive him for making her go through this alone.

Kathy had gotten a job in Denver Colorado. His kids wanted to go; they were excited about the move. He couldn't let them go with out him. He had to go. He had to be with his children---with _her _children.

He didn't ask her to go; she should have taken that as the first sign. The last night they spent together was bitter sweet. He held her in his arms and told her he could never love anyone the way he loved her. He told her that the love they had was the kind that survived even after death, soul mates. That is what said, _soul mates._

She laughs at that now. Fucking bastard. He broke her heart, but it was more then that, so much more than that.

She turns over in her bed and stares at the clock, the red light mocking her. Another dream about him. When would the taunting stop? She feels like a damn fool for still loving him. How can she feel anything other then hate for the man? How can she still love him after everything that has happened? And then she remembers why...She hears a noise and jolts out of bed and runs into the room next to hers.

"Momma." She looks down at her beautiful daughter. Dark brown eyes rimmed with red and tears look back at her.

Olivia sits down next to her on her bed and pulls her into her lap cradling her small body against her body. "What's wrong sweetheart?" She asks as she rubs circles on her back.

"No feel good." The girl whispers against her mother's shoulder

"Do you want to come sleep in my bed?" She asks already knowing the answer.

"Yeah." She says softly.

"Ok peaches, lets' go."

"Wait…can Ella come too?"

"Of course." She says kissing her daughters forehead.

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"Hey Liv."

"Hey John." She says smiling up at her partner.

"I can't believe Cragen has us working on a Sunday, especially when it is just to finish paperwork…." He is cut off.

"I don't want to hear about how it is some sort a conspiracy Munch. Not in the mood."

"Late night last night? Hot date?" He asks with a raised eyebrow.

"I wish." She giggles, "Ava had a fever, so of course Ella got one too."

"Awe. Poor things. Where are they?"

"Up stairs sleeping in the crib."

"You really have great children Olivia. You have done a remarkable job raising them. They are too cute, the spitting image of you." John says with a smile.

"Why thank you John. It's been hard; I'm not going to lie about that. However when I see their eyes look into mine…it's like…indescribable."

"Still no word?"

She rolls her eyes.

"I can't believe he would do this to you Liv."

"You're telling me. I can't believe he hasn't at least called you guys, you know? He just packed up his life here and peaced the fuck out. See-ya later New York."

"He's a jackass Liv, a real fucking jackass. You deserve better then him."

"Thanks Munch." She says with a small smile.

"So how was your date the other night?"

Munch had babysat the girls so Olivia could go out with Michael. Not his first pick for her, but he seemed decent enough. She had been dating him for the past 3 months; even though she would never admit that they were actually, 'dating'.

"It was good."

"You got home pretty late."

"It was a long movie." She says with girlish grin.

"Ya-eah." Munch says smirking at her.

"IT WAS!" She retorts.

"What ever you say Liv. I'm done, you?"

"Not so much." She says looking at the few files that remain undone.

"Want some help?"

She smiles, "Thanks for the offer but I think I can manage."

"Okay, see you tomorrow Liv."

"Night Munch."

She goes upstairs to check on her girls. They are beautiful. They have big brown eyes, bigger then hers, and thick long dark brown hair that curls at the end. They look exactly alike; after all they are identical twins. And while everyone says they are little Olivia's, all Liv sees is Elliot in them.

She wrote him the day she found out she was pregnant. She told him she was scared, more like terrified. She told him she didn't think she could do this with out him. He must have thought it was a trick, for him to come back to her. It was the only thing that made sense to her. After a month went by she sent another letter, she included the sonogram photo. Still nothing. She wrote him every month for 24 months. She told him all about the girls, _his_ girls. Every thing that had happened that month. When the girls were born she would included photos of them. Ava and Ella 1 day old.

_Cragen knew immediately that the girls were yours as soon as he saw them. I guess the gig is up. He took one look at them and said they looked just like Lizzie when she was born, bald headed and blue eyed. I just cried. I never knew how much I could care for something like I care about them. I've only known them for a day, but it feels like a lifetime. All my fears that I would never love my kids immediately vanished. I wonder how mothers can't love their children, especially when they look at you with those innocent eyes. Babies are so innocent El. No matter where they came from…_

_EOBABIESEOBABIESEOBABIES_

_They smiled for the first time today, we were playing a game of peek-a-boo, and they both looked up at me and smiled. Talk about heart warming. I cried. I'm a mother El…can you believe it? I'm a mother that cries at the littlest things her children do._

_EOBABIESEOBABIESEOBABIES_

_Their first tooth came in today! Front and center on the bottom. Both of them, same time. They barely cried. They are starting to move around on the floor, any day know they will be crawling. _

_EOBABIESEOBABIESEOBABIES_

_They said their first words today, "Mama" Of course I cried, Casey did too. They are so advanced El. They are going to be at the top of their classes. They are going to speaking in paragraphs before I know it. I can't even tell you how happy they make me. That one simple word made me feel complete. _

_EOBABIESEOBABIESEOBABIES_

_You should have seen them El. It was incredible. They were standing about a foot from each other just staring at one another. And then at the exact same time they both took 5 steps towards the each other, until they collided and fell on their bums. They didn't cry though, they laughed, and laughed. They are strong girls El. I wish you could hear them laugh; it warms my heart every time._

She told him how they were inseparable. That she had never seen anything like them. They were very smart girls, and had the biggest hearts of anyone she had ever known.

_I wonder if Dickie and Lizzie were inseparable like the girls. Some nights when I go into their room they are in the same bed. They do everything at the same time. It is amazing to watch._

_Everyone says they look just like me, I'll admit they do look like me, but once you get over the brown hair and brown eyes, they are all you. _

_Do you think about them El? Do you wonder about them? Do you lay awake at night wondering what they are going to be when they grow up like I do? Do you even care at all? I can't imagine not having them. _

The last letter she wrote was returned to her stamped: 'Receiver has moved no forwarding address'. She cried herself to sleep that night. She hated him forever, and would never ever forgive him.

It killed her though, because he gave her the greatest gift in life, her children. And for that she could never hate him. She didn't understand though. They had dated for 4 months before he took off. He told her things that she once dreamed he would say. But it didn't matter in the long run, it was all fake, none of it was the truth. She had been played, by the man she had been in love with for 8 years. Played by the man she called partner, her best friend, her boyfriend. And that hurt like a sonovbitch.

The guys at work have been so great to Olivia. It if weren't for them she wouldn't know what she would have done. A single (terrified) mother of two. She did not sleep for the first year they were born. She was depressed, she was stressed, she was scared, she was hurt, but she was also a new mother. So at the same time when she was at her lowest, her children brought her to her highest. Casey basically moved in for the first 6 months. She helped with the feedings, the changing, and the cleaning.

_EOBABIESEOBABIESEOBABIES_

She kissed Ava's forehead, when her lips pressed against it she felt the heat radiate off of her head. She was burning up. Her cheeks were flushed. She reached into the diaper bag and got out the thermometer. She placed it into her ear. _103.4!_

She tried not to panic, as she gathered up the sleepy girls. She held Ava and let Ella walk. She put the diaper bag around her shoulder and they ran out of the office.

She waited in the waiting room while the Doctors checked out Ava. She didn't understand why she couldn't be with her. She was only two! She was scared and she needed her mamma! She cried silently as she rocked Ella.

"Ms. Benson?"

Olivia shot up out of her chair, waking Ella in the process who was snuggles up on her chest.

"We are going to need to run some tests on Ava, and since Ella and her are identical it would be wise if we ran them on her as well."

Olivia handed over her baby girl, tears streamed down her face, this could not be good.

_Tests…Ava and Ella. _


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2 It shouldn't be

"Hey gorgeous." He said as he answered the phone. He could hear her breathing and new immediately something was wrong. "Liv? What is it? What's wrong?"

"The…girls." She said above a whisper.

"Where are you?"

"St. Marks Hospital."

"I'll be there if five." He said and hung up the phone.

Every time she finds herself back on her feet, God finds some way to throw her back down in the dirt. Only this time he sent her flying 100 feet below the lowest she had ever been. She didn't know what she would do---if…if…well she couldn't even think about it. She needed someone told hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay, even if it might not be. She never wanted Elliot so bad in her entire life, and she hated her self for admitting that. However since she couldn't have him, she called the next best thing, Michael Thomas. He was cute, an inch shorter then her maybe. He had curly brown hair, and wore thin rimmed glasses. His eyes were dark brown just like hers. It was what drove her to him. Because she could never look into a pair of blue eyes with out thinking of him...

He ran into the hospital waiting room searching for her. When his eyes met hers, and he saw the pain in them he knew it was bad. What ever it was…it was real bad.

He walks up to her and pulls her into a deep hug allowing her sob against his chest. He rubs her back, and kisses her forehead, "Where are the girls?"

She is chokes out of her sobs, "The doctors wanted to run some more tests…to make sure…" She can't finish, she can't say it, she shakes as she cries into him, grabbing onto his shirt like she was holding on for dear life, and she can't help but wish it was Elliot she was grabbing on to. His hands that were holding her, his voice trying to comfort her.

"Ms. Benson?" A Doctor calls out to the waiting room. She turns away from him and looks at the nurse with red eyes. "Follow me."

She grabs Michael's hand and they walk through the doors and into a Doctors office.

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Michael helps Olivia put the girls to bed. They are completely out of it, too many tests for two little girls. Too much stress for an overstressed mother. She looks down at her sleeping angels. She leans up against Michael's chest, "Thank you for coming. I just couldn't do this alone."

"Olivia, I would rush over even if it was a broken nail. I like you Olivia, and I want to be there for you, no matter what." He squeezes her gently and she leads him to her bedroom.

She kisses him softly on the mouth. She pulls him down onto the bed. She needs him; she needs him so she can feel anything then the craziness of this world.

"Olivia, are you sure you want to do this?" He asks as her hands begin to unbutton his shirt.

"I need to feel something other then this," She says motioning to her broken heart, "Please Michael, I need this." She says and she kisses him hard on the mouth.

He understands, and he will give her anything to make her pain go away or at least make it subside for awhile. He lifts her shirt up over her head and kisses her neck down to her collarbone. She leans her head back to allow him to greater access. She runs her hand up and down his back her fingernails scratching it up and down.

His hand rubs along her outer thighs and she moans as he brings his mouth back to hers. His hands begin to play with the hem of her panties. He looks into her eyes to make sure this is okay, she nods and he lowers her panties. She feels his lips on her inner folds and she imagines it is Elliot.

As his tongue slides around her inner core and she lifts her hips off the bed just a little. He presses his tongue harder against her. He then decides to add his fingers to the mantra, making her quiver under his touch.

"Let it go Liv. Release to me." He says as his thumb rubs her nub.

"Oh fuck Mike," She pants, "I'm going to come."

He can feel her muscles begin to contract and he knows she is close. He licks over her applying pressure to all the right parts, he blows into her and he knows she is going to come within the minute. He is right, "Oh my God ..." She almost says Elliot, but catches her self in time. She breaths heavily as he breaks her, and licks up every ounce of juice that pours out of her.

He kisses his way up to her mouth but not before spending some time sucking on her erect nipples. She can feel him hard against her and she knows that he is ready for her.

"I want you in me." She says as she stares into his eyes, as if trying to turn them blue with her stare.

She helps him get him out of his khakis, and out of his boxers, releasing his erection from the tight confinement of clothes. She turns him over so he is beneath her. She goes to make her way down to him, but he pulls her up, "No Liv…I'm here for you tonight." He says with a smile. He turns her over so that she is now beneath him again. His hands press against her knees and spread her legs to allow him access.

He glides into her with ease. She is not into making love tonight, she wants to be fucked, and to let fuck. She has not 'made love' since Elliot and although semi conscious of it, she will not allow another man to be where Elliot has. She has slept with men since Elliot left but not one of them has even compared to him. She hates herself for comparing everyone to Elliot, but when you have had the best, it is hard not too. She gives Michael props though; he is definitely doing one hell of a job.

She grinds into him, meeting him thrust for thrust. She rides him like no other woman has ever done. This surprises him. He smiles as he buries himself deep inside of her.

"Jesus Liv." He pants as he continues to thrust into her, hard and deep.

"Oh God, don't stop…right there."

"Fucking…Liv…God…I'm going to come." He says pounding himself into her. Sweat drips from all over their bodies, mixing as one.

"E…Michael---" She calls out in pure ecstasy. He places his hands on her hips and gives her a few more hard thrusts before he lets himself release inside of her. She comes a minute or two after. He collapses next to her on the bed.

She hates herself for what just happened, not for sleeping with Michael, but for thinking it was _him_ while she was doing it. She almost called out his name instead of Michael's. She has to let him go, she has to get him out of her mind. She has to once and for all get over Elliot Stabler!

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"Okay Maureen, we are all together, so what's the big news?" Elliot asks his oldest daughter.

"I got a job!"

"That's great sweetie! Where?"

"Well…don't freak out on me Dad, but it's in New York. I'm moving back home. As much as I love it here, it's not home."

Elliot felt something warm in his heart. _Home_, he thought, _Olivia_.

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The next few days were a blur for Olivia. Her days were filled by meeting with the girls Doctors and staying with them while they were in the Hospital. It all happened so fast. They were healthy, happy girls, with their whole lives in front of them. And now their futures were threatened. Leukemia had stricken them both. Chemo and radiation would start today and go for six weeks.

She sits in their hospital room and looks down at her babies. Tears fill her eyes. She has no control over this, there is nothing she can do, and it scares the living shit out of her. She needs him. She needs him here to be with his girls, to be there for her. She thought that he would come back someday, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday he would meet his children. She sobs wondering if he will ever get that chance. She hates him at this moment.

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They never told anyone from work that they were together. They never knew until the day she gave birth and they saw the girls. They were definitely Stabler's. She remembers Cragen telling her that they looked just like Lizzie. Bald with bright blue eyes, they were his eyes. They changed from his baby blues to her dark brown with in a couple months. She was happy about it. It killed her to see his eyes starring back at her every day.

The staff at the hospital had fallen in love with Ava and Ella, and how could they not? They were happy kids, well mannered and so damn cute that it brought tears to Olivia's eyes when she saw how strong they were being during all of this.

Even when they were being poked and prodded they found away to make each other laugh, make the staff laugh, make Olivia's eyes come to light.

She came out of her daydream when she heard the words that made her heart melt, "Mama?"

"Yeah baby?" She said as she held Ava's hand.

"I wuh you Mommy." Tears streamed down her face.

"I love you too, baby. More then you could ever know."

"Why cry Mommy?"

_Because I might not get to see you grow up baby. Because the pain that you guys are going to have to go through is going to rip me up inside._ "Because I love you sweetheart."

"Are we sick Mamma?"

She choked on the lump that was in her throat, "Yes baby."

"Can I be sick so Ella no be sick Mama? I don't want Ella sick." She lost it. The tears poured down her face. The love and care that the twins shared for each other was always something special. But the fact that a two year old would sacrifice herself so that her sister didn't have to be sick…well it stung her heart. Olivia wondered if she was strong enough for this. Why couldn't it be her? She would do anything to save them from their pain. She smiled through her tears. All her fears that her 'fathers' genes may have corrupted her children was gone.

She didn't notice the Doctor standing outside of the room. Olivia looked up at her and saw the Doctor was crying too. "I'll be right back baby." She said to Ava.

"I'm sorry Ms. Benson…it's just…that was the most…what she said, I mean…You must be an amazing mother."

"Olivia. Please call me Olivia."

"Only if you call me Ana. You have wonderful girls Olivia. I have never met such sweet two year olds. They are something special." She wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. "You want to go get some coffee, and talk about what all this means?"

"Yeah. I'd like that." She said, "Just give me a minute."

"Of course." Ana replied.

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The station house was quiet. Munch, Fin and Cragen sat in silence. Cragen was sitting at Olivia's desk. His eyes couldn't help but stare at the photos of the girls. They were adorable. They called him, 'Papa'. He loved them with his whole heart. He didn't know how Olivia was going to survive if they didn't. He sighed and memories of the twins raced through his head. The first time Ella said, "Papa", Ava said it exactly 23 seconds after Ella. There were cribs in the actual crib. They were the mascots of the station house. Everyone at the 1-6 had fallen in love with them. They were all hurting when Olivia made the call.

"He might not ever meet them." Fin said so low that they almost didn't hear him.

"If I ever see him again I'm going to kill him. Those kids are cutest things I have ever seen, ever. Why is this happening to them? She won't make it Cap, she won't make it…if…" he couldn't say it but they all knew what Munch was thinking.

"I can't imagine what she is going through right now." Fin said.

"Listen guys, we have to be strong for her. We have to do everything we can to make this as easy on her as possible." Cragen said.

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They both had gotten violently sick after their first Chemo treatment. Olivia hated seeing her children sick like this. It was torture, it was horrible. It was something no mother should ever have to see her child go through, let along both of her babies.

She sat with them both and rubbed their backs, sang them songs and told them she loved them. It was all she could do. Her hatred for Elliot grew stronger every day. He should be there with her, with _his _children.

"Mama, no feel good." Ava said just above a whisper. Olivia held out the bowl as her little one dry heaved into it.

"I know baby, I know." She said as she sat her back and fed her ice chips.

"Ava…you k?" Ella asked weakly.

"I sick." She replied.

"Me too." Ella replied, "I hope feel better Ava. I wuh you A."

"I wuh you El." _El_…Olivia thought. She tried to hold her tears back.


	3. Chapter 3

**a/n: To all my readers and reviews out there---you guys inspire me!**

**New Epi (burned) on tonight in one hour! Mariska said it was one of her favorites---which means it has got to be A GREAT ONE!  
**

Chapter Three: Superhero's

A couple hours later both girls were finally sleeping. She walked out to her living room and sobbed on her couch. I can't do this; I can't watch my babies die.

She heard a knock on the door and got up to answer it.

"Michael." She said and fell into his arms. He held her tight and kissed her hair. He walked her over to the couch and sat next to her.

"Have you eaten anything Olivia?" He asked her when she calmed down a bit.

"I'm not hungry." She whispered. How could she think about food at a time like this?

"You gotta eat Liv. You gotta keep up your strength for them." He said as he started to massage her shoulders.

"I know. I'm just can't right now." She looks at him and gives him a pathetic smile. A smile that says, 'I'll be okay' but actually means, 'please just hold me.' a smile that Elliot would have been able to see right through. A smile that Elliot would have walked over to her and hugged her for the rest of the night.

Michael not so much. He left. Left her alone with her thoughts.

She curled up on the couch and cried. A black sickness flowed through her body. She couldn't eat. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't sleep. She could do nothing but worry. Worry about the fate of her girls. Worry that Elliot would never meet them. Worry about her life if her girls were taken from her.

Why hasn't he called? Why hasn't he written? Why doesn't he want to meet my beautiful babies? Why doesn't he want to meet _his _beautiful babies? What in the hell did I do to deserve this? More importantly what did the girls do to deserve this?

She never really believed in God. From time to time she would pray would hope that there was one, but she never had the need to believe in him, until now. She started praying immediately once she found out about the girls. She needed to believe in him not too hope or pray for a miracle (which she did anyway), but it was more than that. She needed to believe in the afterlife. She needed to believe in heaven because if her girls didn't make it…she needed to know that they would be taken care of, that someone would be able to look out for them the way she did.

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"She looks terrible Don. I mean as terrible as Olivia could look. I don't think she has slept since she found out. She has dark circles under her eyes. I haven't seen her look so tired and drawn out since the twins were born." Munch said as he typed up his DD5.

"I don't think she has eaten either. She looks like she has lost some weight. She's pale too." Fin said.

Cragen sighed, he had noticed too. Olivia was falling apart in front of his very eyes, and he didn't know what to do about it. He just wanted to tell her everything was going to be okay, but he didn't know that it would be. "I tried to contact him." He whispered.

"What?" Munch and Fin said in unison.

"The number he provided when he left is disconnected. They sold the house they were living in, no forwarding address." He took a deep breath, but that didn't work, "That FUCKIN ASSHOLE!" He shouted at the air.

Munch and Fin stared at him. Cragen was cracking just like the rest of them. "I even asked Huang to use his FBI contacts. I just don't understand why he hasn't called us or anything. We were like a family." Cragen continued. "Family doesn't just leave."

"Come on, lets go visit Liv." Munch said and they all stood up.

"And bring her dinner." Fin added.

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"Thanks for stopping over Casey." Olivia said as she led Casey into the girls' room, "They love their Aunt Casey."

"Hey Girls, Aunt Casey is here to see you." She said as she opened the door.

Casey tried to keep her composure when she saw the girls. She had seen them three days ago, and they didn't look as sick, as they now do. It was all happening so fast. She felt a lump in her throat as she sat on Ella's bed. Ella sat up and gave her a hug. "Hi At Kitty." She said weakly.

She smiled at the girl. She always found it so cute that they couldn't pronounce her name. She loved her nickname though, especially the way they said it, in their cute little girl sounding way. What would she do if she never got to hear it again?

"Hi honey. How are you feeling today?"

"Ok." She said. "Ava still sweeping." Ella said as she looked over at her sister's bed. "She sick today."

Casey smiled up at her. "I got you a present." She said as she handed Ella the wrapped gift.

"Fo me?" She asked her eyes wide with surprise.

"Yes baby. For you."

"Can share wit A?" Casey smiled at her. The twins' generosity for each other was heart warming.

"You could, but I got her one too." She said placing a kiss on the girl's forehead.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, now open it!"

Ella ripped opened the gift and screeched, "ELMO!" She held the stuffed Elmo tight to her chest. "Tank you At Kitty. I wuh it!"

"You're very welcome. I will place Ava's over here ok. When she wakes up you can give it to her okay?"

"Okay. At Kitty?"

"Yeah sweetie."

"Me nap? I'm sweepy too."

Casey smiled at her, "Go for it kiddo." And she bent down and gave the girl a hug.

Olivia bent down and hugged her daughter, "Night sweetie." She said placing a kiss on her forehead.

They walked out of the girl's room and sat down on her couch. "Thanks for the gifts Casey."

"Anything for those two. I just wish I could do more." She said with a sigh.

"Me too."

"I've never met anyone as strong as you Olivia. I admire you more then you could ever know, more then I could ever say."

Olivia smiled, "I'm not as strong as you think Case." She said softly.

"Yes you are Liv."

"I don't know how much longer I can hang on Case. It's like hell on earth watching them just getting sicker and sicker."

"I hope you're not mad," Casey starts to say as she digs through her purse, "But I thought that maybe this could help." She handed a business card to Olivia, "They are about support groups for parents whose children have cancer."

Olivia looks them over, "No I'm not mad Case. Thanks…I think I might need this…" She starts to cry, and Casey pulls her into a hug.

"I'm so sorry Olivia…I'm so so sorry." And cries with her.

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"Liv you have to eat something." Munch says in a very stern tone. Olivia has been looking paler and paler every day. She is starting to look like the twins and it is scaring the hell out of him.

"I know I'm just not hungry." She replies, the same thing she has been saying for the past two weeks.

"I'm making you soup and you are going to eat it."

"Munch." She wines.

"No if's, and's or but's about it Olivia. You need to eat." He says getting up from her couch and heading towards the kitchen.

He has never seen her like this. Not even when Elliot left and she found out she was pregnant. She is scaring him, and he doesn't like it. He couldn't blame her though. They were her girls. Her girls were dying and she had no control over it. Olivia Benson control freak, had no control over her daughters lives. It was killing her, and no one could do anything to make it better.

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"Olivia, we have some bad news." Ana was telling her while the girls were getting their third Chemo treatment.

"I don't know how much more I can take." Olivia said honestly.

"We are going to have to admit them." Olivia bobbed her head up and down as her eyes filled with tears, and as Ana continued, "The tests show that there T-cells have dropped considerably from last week, they are dehydrated and they have lost more weight. I'm sorry Olivia I really am, but they are going to need the 24 hour care."

"They have been so strong through all of this. They really are my angels." Olivia says through the tears.

"They're fighters Olivia. Can I ask you a question?"

"Mmmhmmm."

"How are you paying for all of their medical bills, I don't mean to pry but I noticed that you pay them off every month, and I know how expensive it is. I also know that you aren't working. You don't have to tell me, I was just asking…as a friend."

"My mother left me with a ton of money. Her parents were loaded beyond belief. I never touched it until the girls…"

"Enough said."

"They should be done. Do you mind if I go see them?"

"Not at all. Hey Olivia?"

"Yeah?"

"You weren't at the meeting yesterday. Casey told me that you have missed the past three, and…you are looking pretty drained lately."

"I know, it's just hard you know." She said looking down at the floor.

"You lost more weight Olivia."

"I know." Olivia said shamefully. She didn't mean too. She looked at Ana with her brown eyes. They were full of fear and distraught. Ana didn't want to cause her anymore pain so she would drop it, for now at least.

"I'll get the paperwork started for their stay."

As Olivia walked down the hallway her head started to spin, 'their stay' how long would 'their stay' be? Were they going to die? Were her babies going to die? Would they die here in this hospital? They couldn't die. She felt her knees buckle and her world went black.

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He dreamt of her every night. He could smell her, feel her next to him, and taste her. He wished he would never wake up, because when he did he was alone. The spot next to him was cold. Olivia's body no longer able to keep him warm. He only hoped that she would understand, and that one day she would forgive him.

He shared a house with Kathy because she made him, but he insisted that they have separate bedrooms. It drove her crazy, but she was just glad that he was there, no matter what. Kathy would do anything to keep him there, even if it meant sacrificing her children for the cause. The six months that they were separated were hell for her. She hated it, and then to find out that her worst fears had come true--that he was in love with his partner, well she snapped to say the least.

She hated that it was taking him this long to get over her, not that he ever admitted that he loved her, or that he even dated her, but she knew. Just like she knew that he was in love with her for the last 8 years of their marriage. She didn't think it would take this long for him to get over her.

He woke up in a sweat. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong with Olivia. He pulled his arms around his chest. He didn't like the feeling at the pit of his stomach.

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She dreaming that she was lying in bed with Elliot, and Ava and Ella busted through the door and was snuggling up with their parents. They were healthy and happy with their head done up in pigtails.

She woke up to the sound of a monitor beeping. She must have fallen asleep in the girl's room, she thought. Not quite right.

_She_ was hooked up to an IV and the monitor beeping was _hers_, a machine watching_ her_ blood pressure. What the?

"You're awake."

"Don. Where am I? I am I here, where are the girls?"

"The girls are fine, you fainted Olivia. You have to take care of yourself, for them." He said kindly.

"I know," She said sighing, "I'm just so scared Don, I'm so scared and I have no control over the situation."

"I know, Liv. Both those girls are fighters they are part Benson, part Stabler. That's as close as you can get to a Superhero, a stubborn Superhero, but a Superhero none the less," They both chuckled, "and they are going to fight this with everything they have, and then some. You have to do the same."

She nodded. He was right.

"Promise me you are going to take care of yourself."

"I promise." She said looking him directly in the eye.

"Okay. I'm going to visit my grandchildren. You rest up, and when your IV Bag is gone you come find us." He said with a smile.


	4. Chapter 4

**a/n: not a new chapter, just fixing my errors...**

Chapter 4 Discoveries

"Their hair is falling out. I was brushing Ava's hair and it starting coming out in clumps. I asked her about it. She said she noticed, but it was okay because Ana had told her that would happen. You know what she said to me?"

"What?" Michael asked rubbing her shoulders.

"That it's okay because it will grow back. But she threw in a, 'I'm going to miss pig tails and braids." They both giggled.

"Their great Liv. You know I love them, right?"

"I know." She turned her head so that her lips could meet his, "Thank you for being here for me."

She couldn't help it but it was like a dagger in her heart. She needed Elliot to say those words. Michael was not their father, Michael was not Elliot. She should be telling Elliot what the girls said, not Michael. She tired to keep him at arms length, not let him into the girl's lives, but with all the drama going on her life she could see the transition that Michael was going through.

He wanted to be there for her girls like a father would be. She couldn't do it. She couldn't do that to Elliot, no matter how much he hurt her, or fucked up or whatevered, those were his girls and no one could replace him.

She knew he didn't mean to play the Dad figure, but it didn't matter. The girls were starting to ask what a 'father' was, and it was only a matter of time when they asked who their 'father' was.

SVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVU

The dreams have not stopped. It had been three years since she has even _seen_ Elliot. Three years since she has even heard his voice. But in her dreams it is like he is still there, still touching her. She could feel his breath on her lips. She can taste him on her mouth. She moans passionately and he makes love to her mouth. She leans her head back so he can taste her along her neck. She giggles; he always knew where to kiss her ticklish spots.

"Elliot." She moans.

He brings his hands up to her chest and applies pressure; he brings his mouth down to her nipple and sucks on it. He looks up at her and smiles, "I love you Liv." He continues his kisses down south.

She can feel him pressing hard against her folds she feels it in her stomach; she is going to loose control and fast. She always does when it is Elliot. He inserts two fingers into her and she rides her hips along with his.

"Elliot!" She is close. She smiles because he is the only man that has been able to break her so quickly. He could make her come just by looking at her.

"Never leave me EL." She moans.

"Ever." He replies.

"I love you."

"I love you more."

"Jerk."

"I want to see you come." He moans and places his tongue back on her. As if those words didn't make her want to come right there. She loses control; she can't breathe she holds on to him for dear life. She thinks she might be drawing blood on his back.

"Elllliooot! Ellllllllllllllllllllll!" She screams louder then she ever has as she comes freely into his mouth. He licks up all of juices not leaving anything behind.

He climbs up on top of her, "You taste amazing, I think I could live off of just eating you." He says with a sly smile.

She grabs his ass hard, "Now…El…I need you now." She says pulling his body as close as she could to him. She doesn't know why but she has a feeling that this might end soon.

He kisses her on the lips, "I need you too." She wraps her legs around his waist and he slides into her hard and deep, making her almost come again right there, "ELLLLLLLIOT!" She screams. Another orgasm taking effect with just the thought of him being inside of her, let alone him actually being inside of her.

He pumps his hips as he grinds into her. "Liv…." He yells. She moves her hips in sync with his. He moves from side to side and then starts making figure eights, he knows this kills her. He pulls out knowing she is going to come.

"You're killing me El." He laughs and takes in her want. He places himself back inside of her and thrust into her harder and deeper then he has before. She screams his name so loud she thinks she might have broke a vocal chord or something. She comes hard, and so does he. She can feel his fluids enter her body and she has never felt so satisfied.

SVU SVU SVU SVU SVU SVU SVU

She wakes up but doesn't open her eyes just yet. She knows it was just a dream. If she keeps her eyes closed maybe it will come back to her. No such luck.

"Liv?"

"Mmm?" She says rolling over towards Michael.

"Some hot dream you had there." He says and her face immediately becomes flushed.

"Ah…" _What do you say to something like that? And you have absolutely no idea._

"I was almost pitching a tent over here watching you…until I heard you call out the name Elliot…over and over."

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"Each of you are going to be assigned different cases." Ana was telling her new medical students, "Some of them are going to be easier to handle then others, but that is the job. Children are the hardest, I'm not going to lie about that, however they are also the most gratifying." She smiled at her interns, "Everyone report to the Chief for your cases, except you Maureen, I want to talk to you first."

The other students went off leaving just Ana and Maureen, "Maureen, I have a special case that I don't think any of the other students could handle, you up for it?"

"Yeah!"

"It's a hard one Maureen. 2 and half year old Identical twins with leukemia. They are going to steal your heart the moment you see them. I have never come across such cutie pies in my entire career. Their spirits are truly amazing." Ana smiles just thinking about the girls, "Anyways, this is a personal case for me. The mother of the girls and I have become good friends. You wouldn't believe the strength that she has. Can you imagine your only two children being stricken with cancer?" She pauses wondering how much more Olivia could take, "The father is gone, no where to be found. She's dying inside Maureen. She is a good person and her girls deserve the best care this hospital has to offer. Are you going to be able to handle it? Can I count you as being in?"

"Still in." Maureen said forcing a smile she got choked up inside from the story. This was going to be hard a case.

_Oh Maureen you have no idea how much so._

"Good. I'll go introduce you." She said and they began to walk.

"Ana?"

"Yeah?"

"Are they going to make it?"

Ana stared at Maureen for a minute, "Do you believe in God Maureen?"

"Yes." She said thinking of her Dad who had brought them up Catholic and proud of it.

"Keep them in your prayers." Ana said as she placed a sympathetic hand on her shoulder.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"I brought you dinner." Casey said waking up Olivia from a dream. She passed out in the chair in-between the girls hospital beds.

Casey passed the bag of food to Olivia who put it on the floor.

"Olivia." Casey said in a stern tone.

"Don't Casey." Olivia shot back.

"Olivia, you have to eat. You're 5'9 and doubt that you way 105 pounds. You have dark circles under your eyes all the time; you can't stand for more then a half hour with out passing out. That is not good."

"I'm fine Casey. Please just leave me alone." Olivia said taking a seat on Ava's bed and moving the piece of hair that fell on her face.

"Liv. I love you, and you can't do this to yourself. You have to believe that they are going to make it, and you have to take care of yourself. Be as strong as they are." She said as she sat down on the bed next to her.

"They lost all their pretty brown hair. It's all gone," The tears fell incapable of stopping, "They are getting sicker Case. I can't lose them, I can't lose my babies." She sobbed and Casey took her into her arms.

"The girls need you Liv. They need you to be strong for them. Please." Casey begged as she rubbed Olivia's back.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"Ava, Ella, I want you to meet someone." Ana said to the girls who where lying awake in their beds. "This is Maureen. Maureen, this is Ava, and this is Ella. She is going to be working with me to help get you guys all better."

The girls smiled at Ana, and looked Maureen over.

"Maaeen!" Ava said with a big grin and smiling up at her.

"Hi Maaeen!" Ella said with the same grin as Ava, puling her blanket over her head and laughing.

Maureen looked at them and looked at Ana, "You were right. These girls are going to steal my heart." She whispered.

Maureen studied the twins, her heart skipped a beat. There was something about these girls that she couldn't explain. She smiled at them, she had already fallen in love them.

Ava took off her pink bandana, and that was when it hit Maureen. They were the spitting image of Lizzie, except for their brown eyes. She starred at Ava's eyes, those big huge brown eyes…She knows those eyes…she has seen those eyes...they were Olivia's eyes no doubt about that... "Oh. My. God." _NO FUCKING WAY_! She thought and reached for Ava's chart: Ava Donna Stabler Benson...

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"Dad, it's me Maureen. You need to come to NY immediately. There is something you have to see. I'm on call for the next 24 hours so if I don't answer that is why. Oh and Dad, I wouldn't tell Mom." That was all the voice mail said.

He told Kathy he was going to a conference in Portland. He packed his bags and took the first flight to NY he could get on. He felt free for the first time in three years, but his daughter's cryptic message made him feel uneasy.

He thought about Liv. Wondered what he was going to say her. She was going to be mad at him; no…she was going to be infuriated with him. The guys were probably going to kick his ass for not keeping in contact with them.

He thought about calling them, but the only person he wanted to talk too was the one person Kathy forbids him too. _Coward._ He thought. The truth was that he didn't want his children to hate him, to think he was a bad father. He had been a bad father, he was never there for them. He was always at work. Moving away was his chance to make it up to them. To prove to himself that he could put his children's needs ahead of his own…even if that meant giving up the love of his life, his soul mate, his best friend, his Olivia.

Now that Maureen was back in NY though…he was wondering if he really did the right thing for them. He knew he didn't. He let his kids grow up in a loveless marriage. That's not right either.

What was he going to say to her when he saw her? I'm sorry, didn't seem like enough. He wondered what she was up too. She could be married for all he knew. Hell she could even have kids.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

He walked into the precinct feeling nostalgia. It smelled the exact same. He could feel his heart pound in his chest. He hoped she was there. What if she didn't even work here anymore? What if she had another partner?

He saw Munch and Fin first, and then Cragen. They stared at him with daggers in their eyes. Whoa. He was expecting that look from Liv but not the guys.

Munch could feel the anger boil in his body, he got up and walked towards him, "Get out of here Elliot you are not welcome." He said coldly.

"Good to see you too John. Look guys I'm sorry I didn't call but---" POW! John punched him right in the face, hard. Elliot staggered a bit until he got his balance back. Boney Munch almost took muscle head Elliot out.

Cragen was walked up to them, "Get out of here Elliot before I hit you harder then Munch." Don eyes stared into Elliot's eyes. He meant what he said. Elliot had never seen such disappointment, such anger in his Captains eyes.

Elliot cupped his jaw. His eyes shocked. He glared at the three men. "Can you just tell Liv I'm sorry?"

"You're a fucking asshole Stabler. Sorry isn't going to cut it this time. What you did to her is unforgivable; now get the fuck out of my station house before I have you thrown out."

Elliot stood there shocked, and then finally walked out. _Guess Liv told them we were dating,_ he thought.

He drove to her apartment, hoping maybe she still lived there, hoping she would let him explain. He knocked on her door but a she did not answer. An older woman now occupied the apartment.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"I want to take them out Ana. Do you think I can do that?" Olivia asked.

"Where were you thinking?"

"The zoo?" She asked sarcastically. The girls were way to sick to be taken out in public. Let alone the zoo with all those germs floating around.

Ana shook her head and chuckled, "You know how much I would love to say yes."

"Just home for the day? They miss our house. Please?" Olivia pleaded with her doe eyes.

"You get the new air vents?"

"I got the best of everything. Our house is probably cleaner then this hospital."

Ana laughed, "Ok Liv."

"Ana?"

"Yeah?"

"How much time do I have with my babies?"

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Elliot was meeting Maureen out to lunch. He was meeting her at the hospital so he could see where she worked, or so she said.

He walked passed a few rooms when he saw it, when he saw her.

He nearly fell over. It took him a second to take in her beauty. She was sitting on a bed with two little bald girls on her lap. A case he imagined. And from the looks of her it looked like this one had taken a toll on her. She was so thin…too thin, and pale. She couldn't be more then 100 pounds.

Her hair looked amazing though. Longer then he had ever seen it. It was dark again, like when they had first become partners. It matched her brown doe like eyes again. _Those incredible sexy eyes..._

He stood in the doorway but she didn't see him. He listened to her voice. God how he missed that voice.

"…and then the angels come and take you to heaven. Heaven is the most beautiful place in the whole world. God takes away all your pain, and there is no sadness and no sickness. You get to eat ice cream for breakfast and cookies for lunch." She had tears streaming down her face. She couldn't do this. How do you explain to your children what death is? More importantly how do you explain to your children that they are going to die? "You get to play all the time, and you get to fly!"

Elliot leaned against the door frame; the sight in front of him killed him. These girls were obviously dying, and here Olivia was trying to explain to them what it was like. He never knew Olivia to believe in God, he wondered what made her have faith…he soon found out.

"Will we die together Mama?" Ava asked placing her hand in Ella's.

Elliot nearly fell over. _Did she just say what I think she just said?__NO! Not Olivia's children! Please God no! I can't breathe, I can't breathe._

Olivia choked, "Only God knows that sweetheart." She said kissing her forehead.

Elliot placed his hand to his heart. He was in shock. He took a few steps back so he was in the hallway. Tears fresh in his eyes. He almost ran into a man slightly shorter then him. The man didn't even notice Elliot standing there. He walked right into the room and that just made Elliot's heart bleed. _Husband_, he thought as he watched the man kiss Olivia on the forehead and sit down on the chair next to the bed.

"Elliot." It was Don. El turned around eyes unable to hold the tears. They fell down like rainstorm. Don looked at him, as pissed as he was he couldn't let him stand their in the hallway and break. Not when his little girls were in there dying.

Olivia looked up from her girls to see Michael walk in. She could barely see through her tears but there was a man behind him…he looked like…_"Elliot." _She heard Don say. She got up from the bed. "Wait here." She said to Michael and walked in slow motion towards the hallway of the hospital.

She watched Cragen embrace him. How much did he hear? How much did he know? Did it matter?

She thought that when she finally saw him she would kill him that her anger would get the best of her and she would at least punch him in the face. That didn't happen. Not today, not now. Not after she just told her daughters what heaven meant. Not after she just found out how fragile and short life really is.

"Elliot." She said softly. He spun around and looked at her.

"Liv." And as if they were two magnets their bodies connected from the force that was Olivia and Elliot. Don walked away giving them some privacy. She sobbed on his shoulder, and he on hers, neither one of them saying anything. She needed this moment. She would be mad later, but at this moment there was no one else that she wanted to comfort her.

"You're a mom." He finally said breaking the silence, his thumbs wiping away her tears. "Their beautiful…I can't believe that you're a mom."

"What are you talking about Elliot?" She asked confused.

"Oh…I must have heard wrong. I thought one of them called you Mom."

"Not that El. Why are you just finding out about this?" She looked up at him with wide eyes, almost pissed.

"How else would I have found out?" He asked and felt guilty immediately.

She started to get heated, "How else would you have found out? You could have tried picking up a damn phone for one! The letters Elliot! I sent you letters every month! And nothing! I got nothing back from you! Do you know what you did to me?" She started to get choked up again. How could this day get any worse?

"Liv…Olivia…what are you talking about? What letters?" He asked gazing into her eyes.

"The letters that I wrote you every month since I found out I was pregnant! The letters and photos I sent you updating you on _our_ girls lives! THOSE LETTERS ELLIOT!!!!" She was screaming now, and with good reason. She was a woman breaking, ripping at the seams, falling with no net to catch her.

His jaw hit the floor, "Our girls?" He looked back into the room at a man reading them a book.

"Yes Elliot our girls! Why didn't you write me back? Why didn't you call? We needed you Elliot. Our girls needed you and you not only abandon them you pretended like they didn't even exist!"

"Those are my girls? Liv…I didn't know…I didn't know." He felt the lump in his throat; he started to choke out sobs.

"You didn't get my letters Elliot?" She asked.

"Not one…Olivia if I knew…" She pulled him into a tight hug, "If I only knew Liv…I'm so sorry…oh my God. I'm so sorry! Olivia you have to believe me, I didn't know." he repeated the words over and over.

Maureen was standing in the hallway with fresh tears in her eyes. She whipped out her cell phone, "Dickie, its Maureen. I need you to do me a huge favor."

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

A half an hour later and Olivia and Elliot were still in the hallway. Olivia would only talk about the girls' health. Anything else was too personal and she wasn't emotionally stable to talk to him about anything else.

"Please introduce me Liv." He said taking her hand and placing it in his.

"And say what Elliot? Hey girls this is your dada? They don't even know who you are Elliot!"

"Please let me get to know my girls."

"I can't do that to them Elliot. It was one thing when you left me, but I will be damned if I let you into their lives just so you can leave again."

"I'm not leaving again Liv. I never left you." He said just above a whisper.

"Really? You never left? Huh. That's funny because I don't remember you when I found we were having twins. I don't' remember you being there when I gave birth, when they starting crawling, when they started on solid foods, when they started walking, when they SAID THEIR FIRST WORDS! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU NEVER LEFT!?"

He deserved that and he knew it, "What I meant Liv was that I never stopped loving you. I dreamt of you every night. I thought about you all day every day. I wanted to call you, I wanted to write you, but I couldn't."

"Why?"

"Because I had to save my marriage Liv. Kathy convinced me that I was a horrible father. And I believed it. When we moved there I had every intention of keeping in touch with you, I did Liv, I swear. But she freaked out on me Liv. Kathy wouldn't allow the mere mention of your name let alone anything to do with my job for that matter. Don't you think it killed me not to see you everyday? Not to hear your voice? Not to know how the love of my life was doing? I still love you just at much as I did three years ago." his eyes started to tear and he let out a deep breathe he didn't know he was holding.

She was going to say something when they were interrupted. "Baby, the girls are asking for you." Michael said as he looked suspiciously at Elliot and wondered why he was sitting so close to his girlfriend.

"Ah…yeah. I'll be right there." She said giving him a smile.

"Please Liv, let me meet them."

"Okay. But not here, not now. They are staying at home tonight," She said somberly. She reached over the nurses' station and wrote an address down and handed it to Elliot, "8 o'clock."

Elliot looked at the address with wide eyes, "Long beach?"

She just smirked, "Don't be late."


	6. Chapter 6

**a/n: Ok guys there is a HUGE shortage in EO Fics...and a lack of updating (myself included..)...I'm dying over here! and i know a lot of other people are too! Especially with Tuesdays epi having NO EO Scenes! WE NEED OUR EO FIX HERE PEOPLE! So i am encouraging all of you out there to get to typing! I NEED MY EO! And seriously what is with all the NON EO fics out there? are people crazy! ahhh! it blows my mind! ok enough of me ranting!**

Chapter 6 Homecomings

_This can not be her neighborhood. This is beautiful. Expensive. How the heck is she affording this? Oh. It must be his,_ he thought as he pulled up to number 1414.

He was so nervous. He didn't know what to say to her. He didn't know what she was going to say to him. And what about this other guy. He didn't see a ring on her finger when he saw her earlier. He knocked on the door, palms sweating.

It took her a minute to get to the door. She looked exhausted when she opened the door, she had one of the girls on her hip, it occurred to him that he didn't know his girls names.

"Hey." She said.

"Hey." He smiled back.

"Come on in." She said shutting the door behind him.

Elliot looked around her house. It was huge. The foyer was bigger then her old apartment. He couldn't focus on the mansion that was her house as the little girl in Liv's arms turned to him, "I Ava." She said stretching out her tiny arm.

"Hello sweet heart. My name is Elliot." _Ava, how beautiful,_ he thought.

"Let's go talk in the living room El." Olivia said and motioned towards the left.

"Momma, you call him El like my El?"

Olivia kissed her baby on the forehead, "Yeah baby."

Elliot was confused but at the same time felt an overwhelming sensation run through his body. He sat down on the couch and Olivia plopped Ava down as well.

"Hi mommy!" The other girl came out from nowhere.

"Hi baby girl. How you feeling?"

"Betta." She looked over at the strange man.

"Who dis?" She asked her mother, but before she could respond Ava answered.

"Dis is El!" She said with a smile.

"I El!" She said with silly grin on her face. Olivia just laughed.

"Ella, meet Elliot. Elliot this is my other baby."

"We not babies Momma!" Ava exclaimed.

"You'll always be my babies." Olivia said picking up Ava and giving her kisses all over making the girl laugh hysterically.

A half an hour later Elliot was so in love with his daughters and couldn't imagine not ever being with them. They had fallen asleep on the couch, Olivia's lap as their pillow when the timer went off. Olivia groaned, "Med time." She whispered and slowly lifted the twin's heads off her lap, "Do you want to help me bring them to their room?"

Elliot's eyes lit up, "Yes, yeah, of course." he stuttered out. Olivia picked up Ava and Elliot picked up Ella. She led them upstairs to the girl's bedroom. Elliot couldn't believe how huge Olivia's house was. The girl's bedroom was larger then the house he was staying at in Denver. How the hell did she come into all this money?

Olivia placed Ava down and Elliot did the same. "I'll be right back." Olivia said and left the room. Elliot stared at his sleeping beauties. His eyes swelled up immediately. Stood up from his kneeled position and walked around the room. Olivia had decorated the room beautifully. It was all Disney and princesses. They each had their own dresser with wooden block letters spelling out the girls names. There were photos of Olivia and the girls hung through out the room. She was beautiful. God she was beautiful. There was on her when she must have been 9 month pregnant. My God was she big! He chuckled, she still looked gorgeous, even more so if that were possible. This must have been the most recent it looked like the annual work picnic. The girls had long brown hair that curled at the ends, Olivia was holding both of them on her lap, her head jerked back in a fit of laughter, her mouth open wide, and that smile he missed. God to hear her laugh like that again would be heaven to him.

The one photo that stuck out the most was the one of the girls being baptized. Never in a million years would he think that Olivia had gotten the girls baptized. He looked at the photo, Cragen and Alex holding one of the girls, and Munch and Casey holding the other. He should have been there. His face became red with anger. Damn him for not being there. Would it of killed you to pick up a fucking phone! Just to see if she was ok! God damnit Elliot you are such an ass! He wiped the tears away when he heard her coming back.

Olivia walked back into the room with a medicine bag. "It's so much easier to this when they are a sleep." She said with a smile. She pulled Ava's Beauty and Beast nightgown up to expose her thigh. She pulled out a needle and filled it with the liquid that was in the glass container. She was a pro at this. He watched her intently as she inserted the needle into the little girl's thigh. She hit the plunger and waited for the needle to empty. When she was all done she put the used medical supplies in a thick red bag, and headed over to Eva's bed and repeated the process. When she was all done she kissed both her girls on the forehead told them she loved them and placed them under the covers. "Snug as a bug in rug."

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"You're an amazing mother Olivia." He told her. They were sitting back in her living room, drinking coffee.

"I know." She simply said.

She was a different person, and it wasn't a bad thing. She was so strong, so sure of her self as a mother, but at the same time, she was the same old Olivia, the broken and hurt Olivia. The one that Elliot would hold at night and tell her everything was going to be okay. Only this time he was the cause for most of the hurt in her eyes.

"I don't know what to say." He said unable to look into her eyes.

"One phone call Elliot. One fucking phone call that's all it would have taken."

"I know! Don't you think I know that! Don't you think that I picked up that phone everyday and had your number dialed? But I couldn't. I had to do it for my kids Liv. Wouldn't you do anything for the girls--?"

"That's not FAIR!" Olivia shouted at him.

"I'm sorry, you're right." He said placing his hands in the air surrendering. "She had me convinced I was a horrible father Olivia. Do you know what an awful feeling that is? To be accused of?"

"How did you not get one of my letters?"

"I don't know Liv. I honestly don't know. I promise you, Liv, I promise you with my whole heart and soul that if had gotten one I would be back here in a flash, and you know that Olivia, you _know _that."

"So what are you even doing here Elliot?"

"Maureen got a job at the hospital where the girls are staying. She must have seen the girls, because she called me immediately and told me I had to get back here and fast."

"Oh!" It finally dawned on Olivia, "Maaeen…Maureen! She's one of the girls Doctors Elliot! Wow. Maureen's a Doctor?"

"Yeah." Elliot said glowing with fatherly pride. "Maaeen huh?"

"Yeah the past few days all the girls can talk about is Ana, their Primary's new helper, Maaeen." She giggled, the way the girls said it was so precious. "So how long are you in town for?"

"Are you kidding me? As soon as I found out those girls were mine I mentally packed. I'm here to stay Liv. I'm not leaving them, I'm not leaving you either."

Their talk was interrupted by Olivia's phone going off. "Don't miss that." He said winking at her. Truth be told though, he missed that like crazy.

"Benson...Oh hey….uh huh….Just put the girls down…nope they didn't even wake up….No! I mean that's ok you don't have to do that; I'll just see you tomorrow. Ok?...ok…uh huh…me too." and she hung up the phone. She glanced over at Elliot and gave a nervous laugh.

"Are you in love with him?" He asked not really wanting to hear her reply.

"What?"

"Are you in love with him? The guy that was at the hospital this afternoon. The same guy that just called you. Are you in love with him?"

"We've only been dating for 4 months." She said as her finger drew circles around her mug.

"That is not what I asked Olivia."

"That is hardly any of your business any more is it?" She asked looking up at him with a hurt look on her face.

"I still love you Olivia."

"Yeah well you have a funny way of showing it."

"I'm working on changing that. I meant what I said before Olivia, I'm not leaving you. Come hell or high water."

"Yeah well don't hate for me not being able to trust you."

"I could never hate you Olivia, but I will spend eternity trying to make it up to you."

_I could never hate you either,_ is what she was thinking, but able to say it? Not yet.

"You have a lot to make up for."

"I know."

"If you hurt my little girls Elliot I will kill YOU, I swear to God."

"Our little girls, and I won't I promise you Olivia, I won't let you down this time."

"_My_ little girls. You can't just come here in one day and expect--"

"Okay, okay…I get it." He said cutting her off.

"Listen Elliot, I don't want to fight not tonight. I have had a crazy day even before you showed up, so---"

"Okay serious talk over." Elliot said.

"I'm_ not_ done with you yet Stabler. We haven't even begun to chip away at the surface of anger that is in store for you. I'm just too tired right now."

"I know." He said with one of his famous smiles. He got up and picked up their empty mugs that were on the table. He headed for the kitchen. When he came back Olivia was passed out the couch. "You weren't kidding when you said you were tired, were you?" He said as he smiled down at her sleeping figure.

He looked down at her and wondered if he should bring her to her room. He used to carry her to bed before, but…this is not like before. But she would probably want to be close to the girls incase they woke up at night. That did it. He slowly bent down and picked up her sleeping form.

He couldn't believe how light she was. _Oh my god Liv, are you eating at all? _He wondered. She was light as a feather. He walked her up the spiral staircase. He still couldn't believe how huge her house was. He found her room, the room right next to the girls. It was a beautiful master bedroom. Hardwood floors, master bath, all furniture was expensive oak. There was a fireplace, bay windows, I mean her bedroom must have cost more then his old house in Queens. How the hell was she affording this?

He brought the comforter and sheets back and placed Olivia softly in the bed. He pulled up the covers and brought his hand over his her forehead. He bent down and placed a small kiss on her forehead. He stared at her for a minute before he turned a started to walk away. However he felt her slinky hand form around his wrist, "El?"

He fell down to her side immediately, "Yeah Liv?"

"Lay with me?" She said in a daze.

"Are you sure Liv?" He asked to make sure.

She tapped her hand on the spot next to her. He walked around the huge bed. He took off his jeans and climbed in, but did not touch her.

"Hold me." She whispered.

_Forever_.

He moved his body closer to hers. He was nervous but had never felt so happy. He wrapped his strong arms around her tiny waist and pulled her body so that there was no space in between them.

She let out a soft moan that let him know that this was okay. A smile emerged on her face and with in minutes was sleeping peacefully where she belonged, in Elliot's arms.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 Letters

Olivia woke up to the sounds of crying coming from the baby monitor. She immediately jumped out of bed and ran to the girl's room, not evening noticing that Elliot was not in it. When she reached the girls room the sight before her killed her.

Elliot was sitting on the floor next to Ella, who judging from the garbage can and paper towels she had gotten sick. Ella was now sleeping soundly and Elliot had his head resting on her mattress. He was crying, sobbing even.

She leaned against the door frame, as her eyes began to water. She choked on a sob, which made Elliot turn around. "Olivia." He said wiping his tears with the sleeve of his shirt. She walked over to him and sat down beside him. Her arms wrapped around him and she placed her head against his back.

Comfort. It was what she needed. It was what she didn't get when Elliot was MIA for all those years. And now here she was giving her comfort to Elliot as he cried his eyes out shamelessly as she held him.

"My girls," he choked out, "Why my girls?" He said and turned his body so that he and Olivia could hug chest to chest.

"I know." Olivia said as she rubbed his back.

He wondered how Olivia was surviving this. It was heart breaking, gut wrenching, awful. And she was doing it alone. How was she holding on, and being so strong? He rubbed his hands along her back, and then he knew. She wasn't as strong as she was trying to be. He could feel every bone in her back; she did not have an ounce of fat on her.

"I'm so sorry Olivia. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, for them." He said as they rocked back and forth on floor of the girl's room.

She looked up into his eyes and wiped the tears that were falling with her thumb. He grabbed her arm and pulled it down to her side. He moved his head closer to hers, slowly. He looked deep into her eyes, his eyes searching for a rhyme or a reason as to why this has happened. Why?

He leaned his head to the left and slowly leaned his way towards her lips. He pulled back for a second and his eyes asked 'is this okay?' When she didn't pull back he took that as a 'yes'.

He pressed his lips gently to hers, very softly. After several seconds he pressed his tongue through her lips so that it meshed with his. They could both taste each others tears as their tongues collided. After a few seconds she pulled back from him.

"No…El…" She said looking down at Ella sleeping peacefully.

"I'm sorry. Look I'll finish cleaning this up and you go back to bed ok?" He said gathering up the paper towels and garbage can.

She looked at him and nodded.

She crawled back into bed and waited for Elliot to return. He did rather quickly and placed his hands around her waist like earlier.

"You broke my heart Elliot Stabler." She whispered to him.

"I know. And everyday until eternity I will spend trying to mend it, along with our girls." He said and squeezed her tight.

"It's not going to be that easy Elliot. I'm furious with you. I can't believe I am even allowing you to sleep in my bed with me. You don't deserve it."

"I know, Liv. I know." He said resting his head in the crook of her neck. They fell fast asleep, for the second time that night.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia woke up early the next morning. She got up quietly so she didn't wake Elliot. She went to her master bath and prepared the girls medicine for the day. She walked into their room to their sleeping bodies. She kissed them both on the forehead and made sure they were still sleeping. She gave them their shots and walked out.

When Elliot woke up he instantly reached for Olivia. She wasn't there though. So he got up and checked on the girls. Still sleeping. He walked down stairs and followed the sound of her wonderful voice. It led him to the kitchen. She was on the phone.

"I need them home Ana. I got all the latest installments. Trust me when I tell you my house is cleaner and healthier then that hospital! I will get a nurse to help me. I just…I need them home with me Ana. I need my girls to be at home….uh huh…okay. Well let me know as soon as you do….Hey Ana? Thank you. I don't know what we would have done if it weren't for you. Your are the best….Thanks. Okay call me later."

When she hung up the phone she turned and saw Elliot standing there leaning up against the island. She smiled at him, "I need my girl's home with me." Was all she said about the subject matter. "Can I make you anything for breakfast?"

"No."

"Come on you must be starving." She said opening the fridge.

"Oh I am, but I am cooking you breakfast." He said pushing her away from the fridge and sitting her down on the stool beside the island.

"No, I'm not that hungry." She said with a smile.

"I'm not taking no for answer. You need to eat. Besides you have never been able to turn down my pancakes."

Half way through the pancakes, she smiled at him and was about to speak when she heard footsteps coming towards the kitchen. Footsteps that were way too heavy to be one of the girls. Michael.

"Liv? Olivia?" They heard him call out. Olivia looked wide eyed at Elliot. Trying to explain this was going to be very interesting.

"Oh hey there you ar----Uh…." Michael began.

"Michael. Hey." She said as she got up and gave him a hug. She pulled back and looked at Elliot, "Michael this is my old partner Elliot. Elliot this is my boyfriend Michael." She said as the two men exchanged glances.

How much did Michael know about Elliot, he wondered? Did he know that he was the girl's father?

"Elliot, nice to meet you." he said and then looked over at Liv, "Liv, you never told me that you had another partner besides Munch?"

Olivia looked at Elliot who looked like someone just killed his dog. "Uh. Yeah. El and I were partners for awhile before he moved. He just came back to NY." She said.

"So how long were you partners for?" Michael asked.

Olivia looked at Elliot who looked at Michael. Elliot took a sip of his milk and said, "8 years."

"8 years? You were partners with him for 8 years and you never told me? Why? Why wouldn't you tell me Olivia?" Michael was getting upset. He looked at Elliot and then Olivia and then it hit him, "Oh my God. This is him isn't it? This is the guy?" Michael said as he looked at Elliot in complete disgust.

"Yes." Olivia said looking down at her plate of food, no longer hungry. She pushed it away from her.

"You ate breakfast?" Michael asked taking a deep breath. She didn't need the extra stress of him yelling at her and he knew it. He was better then that.

"Uh…yeah." She said.

"That is great Liv." He said giving her a smile. He then turned to Elliot, "I have never seen Olivia eat breakfast." He said as he sat next to Olivia and placed his hands on her shoulders massaging them gently.

Elliot stood surprised. Liv not eat breakfast? That was like saying Munch didn't have any conspiracy theories!

Talk about awkward. Olivia had no idea what to say or what to do. She felt horrible for Michael. He was there for her every step of the way when she found out the girls had cancer. He held her when she cried, listened when she told him her fears. And now here she was standing in her kitchen and all she can think about was last night and how safe and sound she felt when Elliot's were wrapped around her tightly.

She didn't know what to say, when she heard the running of four little feet down the stairs. "Mommy! Mommy!" She heard them call. And in came running the two little bald girls with big smiles on their faces. The immediately gave their mother giant hugs.

"Good morning sweethearts!" Olivia said to them placing big kisses on their foreheads.

"Morning Mommy!" Ella and Ava said at the same time. They then walked over to Michael and gave him a hug; Olivia could see the clenched teeth in Elliot's face. "Morning Mikey!" They said to him with big smiles.

They looked at Elliot with confused looks on their faces. "Girls, you remember my friend Elliot don't you?" Olivia said hoping they didn't say anything about seeing him last night as Michael was sure to put two and two together.

"Yeah El!" Ava said.

"You help me when sick!" Ella said remembering last night.

"That's right." Elliot said smiling, and how could you not smile in the presence of these little girls. He was just happy that she remembered, "Are you girls hungry? I made you some pancakes!"

"Yay! Pancakes!" The girls shouted in unison.

Olivia lifted the girls up into their booster seats that were seated around the island. She put on their bibs and got out their sippy cups.

"Okay…well look Liv I have to get going. I was just on my way to the office and thought I would stop by and say hello." Michael said.

"Oh are you sure?" She asked him.

"Yeah I'm sure." He said looking at Elliot.

"Okay well I'll walk you out." Olivia said while Michael kissed the girl goodbye.

He placed his hand on the small of her back and they walked towards her foyer.

"So he's back huh?" Michael started.

"Yeah…" Olivia said looking down at the marble floor.

"What does that mean for us Liv?"

"I don't know." She said honestly, "I don't know."

"I'm not going to be second place Olivia. That's not fair to me."

"I know." She said. He pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back.

"I'll see you Olivia." He said and placed a small but passionate kiss on her lips.

Olivia took a deep breath and walked back to the kitchen. Elliot had the girls laughing in hysterics. She couldn't help but smile. Every chance she got to see her children smile she made a mental image, a mental note never to forget it. That these times might not last.

Ella and Ava got most of their breakfast down before they started to feel nauseous. Olivia should have known, pancakes were heavy on their little stomachs. They didn't need to say anything, she could tell by watching their faces go from pale, to paler. She helped them out of their booster seats and carried them both up the stairs and into their rooms. Making sure she placed the garbage cans next to their beds.

Elliot stood back in amazement in how wonderful Olivia was with them. Knowing what to do even before it happened. He offered to carry one of them upstairs, but she shook her head, "I got it." She said with a smile.

He watched her from the girl's doorway. It was as if they were on a clock. Ava got sick first, and as soon as Olivia was finished cleaning her up and making sure she was ok Ella started.

"Hey, hey. My pancakes weren't that bad." Elliot said with a smile as he entered the girl's room.

"Day good Ellie! But we sick." Ava said trying not to make Elliot feel bad.

"Well ok." Elliot said as he changed the garbage bags, "I'll just run these out." He told Olivia.

"Garbage cans are in the garage." She told him.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

When Elliot came back from taking out the garbage out he found Olivia on the couch drinking a cup of tea and holding what appeared to be a FEDEX box.

"Hey." He said and said down next to her.

"I believed you. I did. I don't forgive you Elliot. It doesn't matter that you didn't get one of my letters. Letters or no letters Elliot, you broke my heart and you left me, and you never tried to contact me." She said and handed him the box along with a letter.

Elliot looked at her puzzled but took the box and the letter.

_Olivia--_

_Hey, what do I say after two years? Well I guess I will start with why I am writing this. Maureen called me and asked me to do some digging around the house. Enclosed you will find what I found. I wanted to keep these letters here for when Dad comes back, but something tells me he is not in Oregon, but NY…possibly with you. Besides Maureen insisted that I send these out to you ASAP._

_We miss you Liv, we really do. You were like an Aunt to us. The one we could go to when our parents were acting retar dumb. I hope we will get to see you again someday. Dad hasn't been the same since we left NY and I know it is because of you. I've never seen him so depressed then he has been these past few years. We are really worried about him Liv. He really loved you, like really really loved you. And if my mom hadn't have been such a psycho about things, and if she hadn't poisoned Dad into thinking he was a terrible father to us maybe things could have ended different. _

_They are not back together, my Dad and my Mom that is. She wanted too, but my Dad told her that it would never work because he was already in love with you, and nothing could change that. "We could move a hundred thousand miles away from her Kathy but it will only make me love her more. When will you understand? I love her Kathy! I'm sorry, but I love Olivia!" ---tru quote!_

_I know the speech by heart, they fought about it everyday. Everyday for the past 3 years. My Dad fought with my mother over you. He was, is, and will forever be in love with you Liv. You have to give him a second chance._

_Luv,_

_Dickie _

Elliot placed the letter down and smiled, he was never so proud of his boy before. He reached into the box and grabbed a handful of letters. Some of them were in larger envelopes; some of them had "Photos Do Not Bend" written on them. He couldn't wait to dive in and read them.

"I'm going to go check on the girls. I'll leave you alone." She said getting up from the couch.

Elliot looked up at her, "Yeah, ok." He said and got stood up with her. He needed to kiss her; he needed to feel his lips against hers. Something told him that she needed to feel his lips upon hers as well.

He leaned in and placed a small but powerful kiss on her lips. When he pulled back he wiped a tear that escaped from her eye. "Come get me when you are done alright?"

He nodded to her and pulled her into a close hug. "I love you Olivia." He said and kissed the top of her head.


	8. Chapter 8

**a/n: Hey everyone! Sorry for not updating sooner, but i have been super busy! I started nursing school! Plus i'm working, which leaves me with little free time. But i have not forgotten about n e of my stories! **

Chapter 8

Two hours later a tear stained, red eyed Elliot made his way up stairs. He was holding a photo as he dragged his feet up the spiral staircase. He walked slowly down the long and wide hallway that over looked the foyer.

_One fucking phone call, that's all it would have, took. One call. Why didn't I just make one fucking call? I lost 3 years…3 years I could have spent with my children…my dying children. I wasted all that time. Precious time I could have spent with them. Getting to know them. My own children don't even know me. _

And just like that the tears flowed down his cheeks; he didn't even bother to wipe them. His sleeves were already soaked. He walked into the girl's room to find both their beds empty. He then retreated to the next room. There they were, napping on Olivia's bed. They were all sleeping on their sides spooning each other. Olivia, Ella, Ava. Olivia's arm wrapped protectively around both her daughters. Her long dangling arms finally came in handy for something other then holding a weapon.

She lifted her head when she felt his presence in the room. She looked over at him. He looked pale, he looked sad. She had never seen him in such a state before. She knew he was hurting, she knew he was upset, but fuck him---what about those 3 years when she was upset? She took a cheap shot, "Not even a fucking email Elliot. You couldn't even give me the decency of an email."

He walked slowly over to the bed and sat on the edge and bowed his head. "I'm a fucking asshole. I don't deserve you or the girls." He said tears streaming down and landing on the photo he held tightly in his hands.

It was a photo of Olivia holding the girls in the hospital. She was beaming with motherly pride, her pearly whites showing as she looked down at the two tiny babies sleeping in her arms.

"I can't ask for your forgiveness Olivia, because I will never be able to forgive myself." He said as placed his hands on the top of his head that was still bowed down to the floor.

Olivia took a deep sigh. "I need to know why Elliot. What stopped you from picking up that phone?"

He took a long breath, "When Kathy told me she got the job in Denver and she was taking the kids my heart stopped. It was bad enough that I barely got to see them, but to have them moved half way across the country. I couldn't let that happen. She had already got the papers filed for full custody. She was granted full custody, entitled to take them wherever she pleased. When she told me this I told her I would do anything…anything, to see my kids. So before I even knew what happened we were living together in a house in Denver, to save money. I got a nine to five job. Kathy was happy that I was home. That we were a 'family' again. We didn't share a room or anything like that, but I know she had her hopes up that someday I would come around. But I knew I wouldn't. I knew that I was deeply in love with you and that anything I had felt for her died quickly in that first year we lived there. I remember I called you the first night but your phone went to voicemail, I was just about to leave a voicemail when Kathy walked in and took my phone and hung up. 'You don't know anyone here El.' she said, 'Your life in NY is over. If you want to be a part in your kid's life you have to give everything else up. Because that's what I did when I sat back and raised our kids for the past 20 years. You owe me Elliot.' That's what she would tell me everyday, "you owe me'. After awhile I just felt like the biggest loser of a father, of a man, that I didn't feel I deserved you. She made me feel like such a piece of shit that I thought you were better off with out me." He lost it, he cried like one of the girls. She climbed over towards him and placed her tiny arms around him. "I didn't think I deserved you."

She held him tight as he shook. He was broken, she was broken. "Elliot look at me." She said to him as he wiped his tears. "El…look at me." She said now placing her hand on his jaw and moving his head so he was looking at her. She kissed him on the top of the forehead. "Please get those ideas out of your head. It hurts me that you think that."

"I love you so much Olivia. I love the girls so much. Please let me into their lives." He said just above a whisper.

"Of course, you're their father." She rubbed small circles around his back as his breathing returned to normal.

"I don't deserve you Liv."

"You have a lot to make up for," She said with a smile, "But never think you are not worthy."

He looked over at her but before he had time to reply Ava began to cry.

"Momma…momma…" She sniffled out and crawled out from the covers and into Olivia's arms.

"What is it baby?"

"I don't feel go--" She didn't get it out…well yeah actually she did, the rest of Elliot's pancakes came right up and all over Olivia's shirt. Ava just cried more.

Not skipping a beat Olivia quickly ripped off her shirt threw it on the floor (careful to keep the chunks from going everywhere) and cuddled her daughter to her bare chest. "Its okay sweetie…it's ok." She said rocking her, "Did you get it all out? Do you feel better?"

"Yea…" she said in soft voice.

"Then that's all that matters." She said still rocking her gently.

"But you shirt mommy." She said looking up at her mother with tears in her eyes.

"It will be fine baby girl. I don't care about that. I care about you."

"You da best mommy in da whole wided world." Ava said, "I be like you when I get big Mama?"

Instant tears ran down Olivia's cheeks, "Of course sweetie." She said looking at Elliot with eyes that said, 'please God let my girls make through this'

"I go sweepy again momma?"

"Sure sweetheart." She said pulling back the covers on her bed.

"No, momma, I want to sweep in my big girl bed."

"Ok." Olivia said and carried the girl to her room.

EOEOEOEOEO

When Olivia came back into the room about 5 minutes later Elliot was still sitting on the edge of her bed. He looked up at her and tried to control himself. He was so in love with her. Even more so then he ever was, or ever though he could be. She was still just in a pair of sweats and her bra and it was the sexiest damn thing he had ever seen.

She came up to him and he placed his arms around her waist cuddling his head just below her breasts. He felt her skin on his and something inside him jolted. They still had that connection, that connection that was unbreakable. She felt it too. She let out a deep breath she didn't know she was holding.

She looked down at him and placed a kiss on his forehead. The sensation burned her lips. He felt it too. He looked up at her…fire in his eyes. She bent her head down and starred at his lips. He was looking into her eyes and he knew he was home. Home for good. He took the first giant step. He brought his lips to meet hers.

His lips burned, and tingled from the touch of hers. She opened her mouth slightly allowing his tongue to slide in and massage hers. He burned for her touch, yearned for it, needed it. It had been three years…three _long_ years. He moaned into her mouth and he pulled her down on the bed and on top of him.

His hands ran through her hair as his lips endeavored every inch of her mouth. He couldn't believe this was real. "I missed you Liv. I missed you so much." He said placing deep, quick kisses all over her mouth. His hands then cupped her jaw and he placed the deepest, most meaningful, most awaited kiss on her mouth. He could feel her smile on his lips. God, he missed that. God he missed her.

He slid his hands up the sides of her body. She was unhealthily skinny, but she was perfect, and the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Whether she was 80 pounds or 300 pounds, she would _always_ be the most beautiful person he had ever seen.

He started touching her everywhere, anywhere he could get his hands on. She moaned into his mouth and he thought he was going to come right there. His hands worked their way up to her breasts and he cupped them firmly. She looked down and smiled at him with that look in her eyes. He knew that look, he loved that look. He missed that look.

He felt her hips move above him and his body began to react. She could feel him getting hard against her hip, and that is when she bolted up right.

"What? What is it Liv? Are you okay? Too fast? I'm sorry." Elliot gasped as he rubbed his hands up and down her arms.

"No, no. It's not that…" She said looking over to her side.

"Oh!" He said remembering that Ella was still asleep in the bed. "I totally forgot she was there." He said kissing the back of her neck.

"I know me too." She said with a little tone of guilt in her tone. "I ah…I have to take a shower. Do you mind keeping an eye on the girls for me?"

He laughs at her, "Not at all."

She smiles at him and places a sweet kiss on his lips. "Thanks, I won't be long."

"Take as long as you need Liv."

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

When Olivia entered her room Ella was no longer sleeping in her bed. She panicked of course, ran through the hallway in just her towel towards the girls room. Just a sleeping Ava. She ran back to her room and pressed the intercom button, "Elliot? Are you here?" She waited…nothing. She pressed the button again, "Elliot! Ella? Are you okay?"

"Momma!" She heard back through the intercom.

"Baby, where are you?"

"We in da kitchie Mommy! Ellie making lunch!"

"Hi Liv. We are fine. Hurry up and get dressed and come down." She heard him call. She smiled. God how she missed his voice.

She quickly got changed and headed downstairs.

"Hey gorgeous." He said as she walked into the kitchen. She blushed immediately.

"You cooking again?"

"Yup? Ella here has the same love as you do for grill cheese." He said and winked at her.

"Yummy!" Ella said as Olivia helped her into her booster seat.

"That's a nice intercom system you got there Liv." He asked, briefly touching down on the subject of money, and how Olivia seemed to have so much of it.

"Thanks." She said with a smile.

"Sit. I'm making it just the way you like it." He said with a wink.

"Ah…No. I'm okay thanks. Not hungry."

"Olivia. You have to eat." He said in a warning tone.

"Elliot, we just ate!"

"That was breakfast Liv. Now you have to eat lunch."

"I'm stuffed."

"Yeah well get used to it. You have to take care of yourself Liv. Keep up that Super Mom Strength." He said placing the plate in front of her. He wasn't going to give into her excuses, and she knew it.

She took a few small bites of the grill cheese, as she helped brake Ella's into small pieces.

"Momma?"

"Yes baby?"

"Is Ellie you fend wike Mikey you fend?"

Elliot and Olivia just looked at each other. What the hell do you say to that?

"Uh…well yes, and no. Elliot and I are best friends."

"Wike me and Ava?"

"Yeah kinda." She said.

"Is Ellie going to sweep ova wike Mikey sweep ova?" Her innocent eyes asked.

_Oh my God. Kill me now?_

Elliot looked over at Olivia with his eyebrows raised. She felt like a terrible parent at that second, in front of him. Letting her boyfriend stay over and her children knowing about it. Not to mention the fact that Michael was her boyfriend...

"Uh…um…I'm not sure sweetie…eat up." She said hoping to change the subject as quick as possible.

"Mama?"

Oh God!

"Yes Baby?"

"Do you wuv Ellie?"

Olivia looked at Elliot, and Elliot looked at Olivia, "Yes baby I do. Very much." She said with a smile. Elliot let go of a breath he didn't know he was holding, and smiled at her. The smile that made her insides tingle.

She could feel the heat on her cheeks raise a hundred degrees. Michael…poor Michael, he didn't stand a chance.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Elliot and Olivia had spent the whole day together in her house. After lunch they went back upstairs to tuck Ella in for her nap, and give them their afternoon Meds. Elliot couldn't believe how much the girls slept, and Olivia tried to explain to him how the medicine and treatment wore them out. She told him that they actually have been quite active the past few days, considering.

Maureen had called Elliot to ask how things were going. They all made plans to go to lunch tomorrow. Olivia thought it strange that she hadn't seen Maureen in three years, yet her girls knew her and loved her like a sister----wait…she was there sister. God this was going to get confusing! How was Elliot going to Kathleen? The twins? Did Maureen already tell them? What about Kathy? Olivia was driving herself crazy with worry and stress about it. She tried not to think about it. Just wait and see.

After dinner, which Olivia barley ate, because she was 'soooo full' and the girls were in bed, Elliot asked Olivia if he could see more photo's of the girls. Olivia got out her giant baby books. One for each girl. Elliot wanted to know everything about them. Every single thing he missed out on. And she told him. Everything. Not just about the girls, but about her too. About how she felt, about how the guys acted, and really stood up to the plate.

"Casey has been amazing. I don't think I could have done it with out her. She moved in with me for awhile. Those first few months it was like the blind leading the blind." She laughed, "She was like the sister I never had. I owe her a lot. And the girls, they absolutely adore her."

"I'm glad you had their support Liv."

"I didn't want their support Elliot. I wanted you." She said angrily.

He pulled her closer to him on the couch and put his arm around her. He kissed her hair, "I know. I wanted you too Liv. I'm sorry I failed you."

She bobbed her head up and down. She couldn't say anything, because he did fail her. He did.

"Are you ever going to be able to forgive me Liv?"

She looked up into his eyes, "Down the road, yes. Right now, no I can't El. I have so much built up anger and hostility towards you, that sometimes I just want to---yell and scream and hit you."

"I know---"

"But---God I missed you El. And when you look at me, or when you hold me like you are now…it's like that all goes away. I just missed you so much. I missed your voice, I missed your touch, I missed everything about you…"

"I missed everything about you too Liv."

"I know…but it still doesn't make the hurt go away. But I can promise you something."

"Oh yeah? What's that Liv?"

"That one day I will be able to forgive you El. Someday I will. What about you? Will you ever be able to forgive yourself?"

He grabbed his neck meat and pressed it hard, "I ah…don't know Liv…I don't know. I mean if they don't make it…Jesus Liv if they don't make it how will you ever forgive me?" He asked as his eyes began to water.

"You didn't do this to them Elliot. Them being sick had nothing to do with you being away."

"I love them so much Liv. I want to know them better; I want them to know me as there Dad. I want to be their Dad, Liv."

She kissed him on the mouth taking him by surprise, "And you will be El…you are."

"Really? You mean it?"

"Of course Elliot. You are their father. I want them to know who their Dad is. I want them to know where they came from."

"Hey Liv? Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Did you win the lottery or something?"

She let out a loud laugh, "My mom left me a shit load of money when she died. Her parents left her a shit load of money when they died. Which means I came into a shit load of money."

"How come you never told me about it?"

"Because I wasn't going to touch it. I didn't touch it in fact. Not until I found out about the girls. And then it wasn't about me and my pride, it was about what was best for my girls." She said with a smile as her hand trailed up and down Elliot's forearm that was wrapped around her shoulder. "I'm just so glad that they get to stay home with me. If it weren't for all the money I wouldn't have been able to afford all these air filters, and other 'clean' systems that the girls need. They would have had to stay in that hospital."

He squeezed her tight and pulled her into him. "I have 6 children….wow."

"Yeah…" She said with a smile.

"Hey Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I sleep over?" She laughed at him and stood up pulling him up with her.

"Come on…Daddy…" She said snaking his hand in hers as they walked up the stairs.


	9. Chapter 9

**a/n: i just wanted to say 'THANKS!' To all of my wonderful reviewers! You guys inspire me---truly! Your support is amazing! **

**also, although i am a huge fan of Grey's i was still upset to see that Marish did not win the SAG award... :( **

Chapter 9

Elliot was awoken in the middle of the night by the thrashing of Olivia's limbs. One painfully hit him in the stomach. He props himself up with his forearm and gently shakes her.

"No. Please God no. Not my babies. Please….my babies." She says just above a whisper.

"Liv, wake up it was just a dream. Wake up Liv." He says in a soothing voice.

She began to stir. She turned around and opened her eyes seeing the most crystal blue beautiful eyes she had ever seen. "Elliot?" She said not believing he was actually there.

He smiles at her, "You were having a bad dream." He says laying his head back on the pillow so that they are nose to nose.

"Yeah I remember." She says with a frown.

"You have them a lot?"

"Yeah ever since…the girls got sick. Same one every time." She says not able to look at him in the eyes.

"Come here." He says and pulls her into him. He rubs tiny circles on her back.

"I can't lose them El. I can't lose my babies." She says as she chokes back her tears.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"Mommy! Mommy!" Ava said as she came strolling into her mothers room. She stood at the edge of the bed and looked curiously at Elliot who was still holding Olivia tight in his arms.

"Momma?" The voice of Ella this time who stood behind her sister.

"Shhh…Momma sweeping." Ava told her sister.

Ella slowly walked up to her mother's nightstand and opened the bottom drawer, the only one she could reach. She pulled out a photo album.

She sat down on the floor and her sister joined her as they looked through the photos. They pointed to the photos, "At Kitty!" They said when the saw Casey. "Un Munchie!" they flipped the page, "Poppa Don, Feen...Elwiot…"

They starred at the photos of their mother and the man named Elliot. Olivia had shown them the album dozens of times. She always stopped 3 pages in, because the rest of the photo album was all Elliot and her. Little did she know that the girls would sneak peaks at the photo album all the time. They finally had a name to go with the face in the photos. They may have been young but they were smart girls. Very smart for their age. It was clear to see how happy their mommy was in the photos. Every photo Olivia had the biggest brightest smile on her face. They may have been little, but they knew that Elliot was the man that made their mother happy.

Ella put the photo album back and the girls quietly exited the room.

"Wets pay till mommies eyes open." Ella told her sister.

"K!" Ava agreed and they headed to their play room located next to their room.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"Liv…" Elliot said placing kisses on Olivia's neck, "Time to wake up Liv."

She moaned slightly at the touch of his hot lips on her neck. "I love waking up to your lips on me." She said her eyes still not open yet.

"I remember." He said still placing seductive kisses on her neck.

"What time is it?" She asked fluttering her eyes open.

"8 o'clock." He said kissing the top of her head.

"I gotta get the girls meds ready." She said rolling over. She was exhausted. Emotionally and physically. All she wanted to do was sleep for another 3 hours.

"I'll make breakfast." Elliot said and watched as Olivia got out of bed and put on a hooded sweatshirt. She was still the sexiest thing he had ever seen. Too skinny though, he thought. "Any requests?" He asked while he starred.

She put her head down, "Surprise me." She said with a smile.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia ate with out a fight. She ate every bite of the cheese omelet Elliot made for her. The girls however were not hungry. They were looking more and more tired these days. It amazed Olivia how one second they were these normal healthy selves and then the next these sick little babies that look liked death. She hated it.

Since the girls didn't eat breakfast she had to give them a formulated drink full of nutrients that their bodies needed. She was lucky that the girls actually liked the stuff. Ana told her that most kids hated it, and their parents have to force them to drink it.

"At Kitty come today Mommy?" Ella asked as she drank from her sippy cup.

Elliot heard a distinct 'oh shit' under Olivia's breath. "Um…I'm not sure sweetheart. I'll give her a call and see." She petted the girls head and gave her a smile. She turned to Elliot, "Casey normally comes over on Sundays."

Casey was absolutely furious with Elliot, perhaps more so then Olivia ever was. How was she going to react when she saw that had been staying with her for the past two days? That she had forgiven him. Would she understand?

"She probably hates my ass huh?" Elliot said in Olivia's ear.

"Yeah, pretty much." Olivia said, "It'll be okay though. I'll talk to her. What time is Maureen coming over?"

"Maeen!?" Ava shouted.

"Yeah baby, Maureen is coming over for dinner tonight." Olivia said and laughed when she saw the smiles on the girl's faces.

"Yeah Maeen!" Ella shouted.

"You guys want to know a secret?" Olivia asked looking at Elliot. She wasn't sure if she should do this, but it was going to come up so she decided to go ahead with it.

"Yeah!" They said.

"Elliot is Maureen's Daddy."

The girls starred at Olivia blankly.

"Mommy?" Ella asked with a confused look on her face. Olivia held her breath; she hoped this wasn't the Daddy conversation. She was not ready to go there yet.

"Yes Baby?"

"A Daddy is a boy Mommy?" She said picking up her sippy cup and finishing the last of the formula.

Olivia couldn't help but smile. Elliot gave a little laugh as well. "Yeah sweetie." and she prayed that that was the end of the conversation.

Elliot did the dishes while Olivia took the girls upstairs so they could nap.

He heard the doorbell and wondered if he should get it when he heard Liv's voice through the intercom, "El? Can you get that for me?"

He smiled and walked over to where the voice was coming from. "Sure."

He walked towards the door and opened up. "Casey." He said as he saw her standing there.

"Guess the rumors are true. You're back." She said with out emotion and walked passed Elliot.

"Good to see you too Case." Elliot said sarcastically.

"What are you doing here Elliot?" She asked.

"Spending time with my family." He simply said.

"You can't make up for lost time." She said coldly.

"No one knows that better then me." He took a deep breath and got ready for the battle that was about to happen, "I didn't know Casey. I didn't know about the girls."

"What about the lett--"

"Kathy took them before I even saw them." He said looking down at the floor, "I didn't know."

"How long you in town for?" Casey said deciding that she didn't want have that conversation.

"Forever. I'm moving back."

"You think you can just walk back into Olivia's life?" Casey said starting to raise her voice, and neither of them noticing Olivia standing in the back of the room. "She's seeing someone Elliot. A good guy. Do you know how long it took for her to pick up the pieces after you left? Do you have any idea what that was like for her? And for the rest of us? To have to see the strongest person we know crack? She fucking loved you, and you left her. You took off and left, with out so much as a phone call!"

"You don't think I know that Casey? It was no picnic for me either Casey! I had to pick between my children and the woman I loved. Do you know how hard that was? Do you know what it is like to hear what a piece of shit father I am, every single day for the past three years from my ex wife that has made my life a living hell? Do you know how worried I was about Olivia? You think I didn't know what I did to her? I knew that if she was feeling a quarter of the hurt that I was feeling that ---." He stopped for a second and took a breath, and wiped the tears that were threatening to fall.

"I dreamt about her every night Casey, every night. I fucking love her Casey. Nothing has changed as far as that goes. And I don't know what is going to happen between her and Michael. If that is who she wants I won't stand in her way, but those are my girls up there, and I am going to be a part of their life..." _What ever is left of it…_

Casey took a breath, and thought the same thing that Elliot did. At that moment she saw things a little bit differently. The girls, they were what mattered now. Life was too short to stay mad. You have to forgive because you never know what life is going throw at you. Casey was sure that Olivia had come to the same conclusion.

"They're great girls Elliot. They have the biggest hearts, and they're so smart, so smart. Olivia's a wonderful mother. She amazes me everyday."

Elliot smiled. Casey was giving him a truce, for now anyway, "I wouldn't believe anything less. That's our girl."

"Yeah well you should have seen us the first couple of months. What a mess." Casey said giving a little bit of laugh remembering those sleepless nights of having to deal with not only two newborn babies, but a heartbroken Olivia as well.

Elliot tried to give a smile. He would have given anything to see that, anything. His hatred for Kathy growing stronger every second. "I never wanted to leave her Casey. I even missed my flight," Elliot started to open up to Casey; "I couldn't leave her you know? But the thought of not being able to see my kids…my children…it ripped me apart inside. I've never been so torn in my life. But what sort of man would I be if I left my children? I didn't want that guilt to tare Olivia and me apart, and it would have if I stayed." He leaned up against the wall.

"I thought I was doing the best thing for my children. Never in a million years did I think that I had other children running around. Especially two little girls that are the cutest things I've ever laid eyes on. God they are the spitting image of Olivia."

Casey laughed, "You have no idea. You should have seen them with their hair, little Liv's running around. Make Liv show you her baby pictures, they are identical to El and A."

Elliot smiled, "They call you At Kitty."

"I know it's so cute. My heart melts every time they say it. I'll never forget the first time I heard them say it. Brought tears to these eyes." She said pointing to her eyes and giving a little laugh.

It was then that Olivia officially walked into the room. "Hey Case." She said and walked up to her and gave her a hug.

"Hey Liv. How are the girls?" Casey asked.

"They just went down." Olivia said with a smile, "They asked if you were coming today."

"Of course they did! They love their Aunt Casey." She said in cocky tone.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

An hour later Casey, Elliot and Olivia were sitting in her living talking. Casey wanted to inform Olivia about a case she worked a couple months ago. She just finished up when they heard the pitter patter of tiny feet running their way.

Elliot smiled when he saw the girls smiled mouths wide open as they ran into the living room, "AT KITTY! AT KITTY!" They yelped and ran right into Casey's awaiting arms.

"Hello my beautiful girls! Did you have a good nap?" She asked placing kissing on their foreheads.

"Yah I had dream we went swimming At Kitty!" Ava said.

"You did?" Casey exclaimed, "How fun. Maybe your mommy will let you guys go swimming today." Casey said looking at Olivia who just smiled at her.

"Can we Mommy! Can we pwease!!!" Ella asked.

"We'll see." Olivia said. As much as she would love to go swimming with the girls she knows that they will most likely be too exhausted.

"Where do you guys go swimming?" Elliot asked.

They all laughed at him like it was obvious. "In da pool!" Ella answered sending them into a bought of laughter.

When Olivia could breathe again, "We have an indoor pool."

"In the house!?" Elliot asked.

Casey laughed, "You haven't given him the tour of your house yet, Liv?"

Olivia looked down, almost embarrassed, "Not yet."

"Elliot this house is amazing; there are hidden rooms and secret passages all over the place. I love this house. I miss this house."

"You know you are always welcomed back Case. I still got your room just they you like it." Olivia told her.

Casey just laughed.

"At Kitty, did you know that Elwiot is Maeen's Daddy?!" Ava said as if it was the biggest news since sliced bread.

"Yeah baby, I knew."

"Maeens coming for dinner." Ella chimed in.

"Really?" Casey said as she looked over at Olivia, "That should be interesting."

"Tell me about it." Olivia said not making eye contact with Elliot.

Olivia was stressing out about seeing Maureen. Did Maureen blame Olivia for her parents not working out? Would she want to be a big sister to the girls? From what Ella and Ava said she seems to adore them. Although liking the girls and liking Olivia was two completely different things. And then there it was the pain in her stomach.

As if sensing her pain Elliot placed his hand on Olivia's knee, "It will be fine Liv. Maureen adores you, and she is absolutely crazy about the girls."

Olivia was about to say something when she noticed that Ava had become extremely pale. "Ava honey? Are you okay?"

She just shook her head. "Okay sweetheart." Olivia said getting off the couch and picking up the girl. She turned to Elliot and Casey, "I'm going to put her to bed. Ella?"

"Yeah mommy?"

"How are you feeling baby?" She said as she tried to read her actions. She was snuggling up on Casey's chest, she looked wiped out.

"I fine mommy." She said into Casey chest.

"Ok. I'll be right back." And she turned to bring Ava upstairs.

Elliot turned to Casey, "She is amazing with them."

"She was born to be a mother. From the moment she first held them you could just tell. She has away with children."

"Always has, always will." Elliot said with smile. "You got any plans for dinner Casey?"

"Actually yes. I have a date tonight."

"Really? Who's the lucky guy?"

Casey's face turned bright red, "Um…no one you know." She said wanting the subject to be dropped immediately.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"You think the girls will be hungry?" Elliot asked Olivia as he was chopping up some vegetables.

The girls were in bed. Ava had not come down since earlier that day. Shortly after Casey left Ella grew extremely tired as well. They both had been sleeping for the past 2 hours.

"I don't know El." She walked over to the sink to fill a pan with water, "I have to bring them in tomorrow. Ana needs to run some more tests, check there levels and see if the treatments are helping." She exhaled deeply. She couldn't think about it. She hated thinking about it.

"Can I come with you?" He asked

"Of course." She bit the bottom of her lip, debating whether or not she should ask what she wanted. Fuck it, "Hey El?"

"Yeah?"

"What are we doing?" She looked at him to try and get some sort of reaction when he took too long to answer she spoke again, "I mean, what are your plans? Are you going back to Denver? Are you going to ask Don for your job back? Where are you going to stay?"

Elliot froze up for a second. "Um…I ummm…no Liv I'm not going back to Denver. I need to get to know my girls Liv. I'm not leaving them, not ever, especially now. I uh…I am going to start looking for an apartment…" He sighed. What he really wanted was to stay with Liv, and his girls.

"Well if you want, I mean…I uh I have more then enough room here…I mean if you wanted to stay here you are more then welcome."

Elliot's eyes lit up. Exactly what he wanted to hear. "I would love that. I mean…that way I can help out, you know."

"Yeah I know." She said with a smile.

"So…um I'm moving in?"

She laughed, "I guess so."

He walked up to her slowly. He grabbed her waist and pressed her back against the wall. He placed a deep kiss on her lips and moaned softly into her mouth when she grabbed his waist and pulled him into her, tight. He cupped her jaw with his hands and allowed his tongue to become familiar again with her mouth. His hands then moved up and down her body making her heart skip a beat or two. His mouth worked its way to her neckline. He trailed kisses all the way down. "Elliot." She moaned lightly.

He lifted her up and sat her on the counter. He stood in between her thighs. Her legs wrapped around his waist as her hands ran up and down his back. "Liv." He moaned and ran his fingers through her hair and then down the front of her shirt cupping her breasts. He then ran them down to her waist and roughly squeezed as he crashed his body hard into hers. Her lips attacked his neck and she could feel his heart beat against her chest.

"I've wanted this for so long Olivia. I missed you so much." He pressed his body against hers so that they were lying down on the island in her kitchen. He crawled up on top of her and smiled. "Too long Liv…" He whispered before he attacked her mouth again.

She missed this so much, missed his touch, and missed his body pressed against his. But something wasn't right…Michael. She had completely forgotten about him. She was cheating on him. But she couldn't stop Elliot from kissing her, not when this felt so good…so right. _Crap,_ it was too early for this, too soon. She couldn't do this…not yet…even though she really, really, really wanted this.

_Fuck! Must. Stop. Him. Fuck, he tastes so good._.. Her mouth devoured his, sucking in every last inch, before she pulled back. "Elliot." She said this time in a very serious tone.

He knew her too well, knew that voice, "Too soon?" He said looking deep into her brown eyes.

"I'm sorry Elliot." She said as he climbed off of her and helped her off the counter.

He kissed her forehead, "Don't be Liv. It's ok, really. I waited three years to be with you again, I can wait a little bit longer."

She smiled up at him, still trying to catch her breath, "A little bit longer huh? You think you're getting into my pants again?" She said with a devilish smirk on her face.

"Uh huh." He said grabbing her hand and pulling her close to his body. His lips circled her, but he didn't press them together.

"You're awfully cocky there." She said playfully.

"I know you too well Liv. I know you can't resist me." He said in a sexy whisper.

"You forget I'm a taken woman El." She said with a smile. She knew it was crap. She knew, and he knew that the moment they saw each other no one else stood a chance. There was only one man in Olivia's heart and that man was Elliot, and no one, no matter how nice and sweet they were, would be able to compete with Elliot Stabler.

"Damn straight you're taken woman." He said placing his lips to hers and giving her a loving kiss. He could feel her smile upon his lips. And they both knew that things between them would be ok.


	10. Chapter 10

**a/n: Hope you guys enjoy this...as you know this fic is my baby---i hope you like it as much as i enjoy writing it. I have big plans for this story so i hope i'm keeping your guys-iz interest! ** **And with that---Kathy is !**

CHAPTER 10

Elliot watched as Olivia paced back and forth from the dinning room to the kitchen. She was obviously nervous about Maureen coming for dinner. She kept making sure everything was in its perfect spot.

"Liv…" He said stopping her pacing with his body. He placed his firm hands on her shoulders, "It's going to be fine. You don't need to be so nervous. Maureen can't wait to see you."

She rolled her eyes at him, "God, I hope you are right."

He placed a soft kiss on her lips and then to her forehead. They both heard the doorbell ring and Olivia quickly pulled away.

Once again he reassured her with a kiss on the lips, "It's going to be fine."

She took a deep breath and Elliot grabbed her hand and walked with her to the front door.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"This is delicious Olivia." Maureen said pointing to the potatoes.

"Thanks." She said with a smile.

"So the girls have an appointment tomorrow?" Maureen asked taking another scoop of mashed potatoes.

"Yeah. Ana needs to run some more tests. Will you be there?" Olivia asked.

"Wouldn't be anywhere else." Maureen smiled at Liv and her Dad.

"The girls really took a liking to you." Olivia said.

"Same here. They are so frigging cute I can't stand it." She paused and chewed on her bottom lip, "Um…Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you going to tell them? About me…being their sister…cause I am…you know, their sister, and I love them so much and…" She was rambling, she knew it. She always babbled when she was nervous.

Olivia and Elliot just looked at each other, "Yeah Maureen we are going to tell them. But not just yet…I mean I want them to get to know your Dad first…We still need to tell them that Elliot is their father…and I have no idea how to do that." She said giving a worried glance to Elliot.

"I understand." She looked down at her plate and then back up again, "I knew there was something about them…the first time I saw them, before I even knew. I just looked at them and god they were so cute," Maureen says replying the day she first saw them in her head, "They looked just like Lizzie--"

Olivia laughed, "That was what everyone said when they were born."

Elliot felt a slight dagger strike against his heart. Memories he would never get to experience.

"It was probably the blue eyes and bald head." Maureen said with a giggle. "But I knew that these girls were special. I could feel it. They love each other so much it is adorable. They are always looking out for each other. You did a really great job raising them Liv, you really did. I just wanted to let you know that."

Olivia had tears in her eyes, but managed to choke out, "Thank you. It means a lot."

"I called Kathleen. She is going to come visit me for a week. I didn't tell her anything though." Maureen said before Elliot or Olivia could ask.

"That's great, when is she coming to visit?" Elliot asked as he took a huge bite of mash potatoes.

"In a couple days."

"What about school?" Elliot asked concerned for his daughter.

Maureen looked at her Dad and then at Olivia, "Uh…well…she will only be missing a few classes--"

"Reen." He father said in a disapproving tone.

"I know, but she needs to meet them Dad." Maureen started to get choked up and a few tears ran down her face, "Ella and Ava are our sisters, and THEIR brother and sisters should be able to meet them, and get to know how wonderful and precious they are, and cute, and smart, and... and…time…Dad…Kathleen can make up her classes---she can't make up…" She looked at Olivia who was in tears, "She just needs to meet them." She said wiping her tears with her napkin.

"Mommy! Mommy!" Olivia heard through the intercom. She quickly got up and ran to the speaker.

"Yes baby! What is it? Are you ok?" She asked sort of panicked.

"I dirsty mommy…and it's Med time."

"Ok baby, I'll be right up." Olivia let out a sigh of relief. She walked back over to the dinning room table.

"Can I come with you Olivia?" Maureen asked.

"Sure. You probably can give their shots better then I can." She said with a smile.

"I'll clear the table." Elliot said and watched as Maureen and Olivia walked away. He starred for a little bit and he was glad he did. As they walked down the hallway Elliot saw Olivia put her arm around Maureen's waist and give her a small kiss on the top of her head. Maureen leaned into Olivia and they disappeared from Elliot's view.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"Hi Maeen." Ava said weakly. She was lying in the fetal position in her bed. Maureen took note of her appearance. Both twins definitely looked a lot paler since the last time she saw them.

"Hello there pretty girl. How are you feeling?" She asked as she sat on the bed and rubbed her hand over her forehead, as Olivia got their medicine ready.

"Tired." Ava replied just above a whisper, "Maeen?"

"Yes sweet heart?"

"You have good Daddy. I wike El-wee." She said faintly.

Olivia did her best to focus on her task at hand, but it was very difficult. She could see the look Maureen's face when she actually saw how sick the girls have gotten. She had to tell the girls that Elliot was their father, because who knows how much time the girls had left. She was so deep into thought that she hadn't realized she had been crying until she choked on her own sob.

Maureen got up and walked over to her. "Here, let me do this." She said taking the medicine from Olivia's hand, "Go talk to him." She said and Olivia just nodded.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

As Elliot put the dishes in the dishwasher he noticed the photos Olivia had on a shelf above the sink. They were of the girls. The girls eating spaghetti, Olivia chasing the girls, the girls playing in a flower garden.

"They had such beautiful hair." Olivia said as came up behind El.

"Just like you," He said not looking at her, still observing the photos, "I'll never be able to forgive her. She stole these years from me." He said just above a whisper.

She put her arms around his waist and hugged him from behind. They were interrupted by Olivia's cell phone.

"Benson."

"_Hey, It's me."_

"Michael…hey."

_"I need to see you." _He said in a very serious tone.

"Are you okay? Is everything alright?" She asked nervously.

_"Yeah…I guess. Just we need to talk."_

"Yeah, I know." She said looking over at Elliot who was finishing the last of the dishes.

_"Can you get away for an hour or so?"_

"Tonight?"

_"Yeah…"_

"Uh…yeah."

_"My apartment at 9?"_

"Sure."

_"See you then."_

"Ok. Bye."

_"Bye Liv."_

Olivia hung up the phone and exhaled, "Um El…would you be able to watch the girls for a little bit tonight?"

"You going to see him?" He said not angry, but with out emotion.

"Yeah." She said looking down at the floor, "He wants to talk."

"You going to end it with him?"

She took a deep breath. Michael had become her support system. He was there when her world collapsed around her. She felt horrible ending it with him because Elliot had come back. She felt like such a jerk. But she knew she had to do it because it wasn't fair to him.

On the same hand she had a lot of anger at Elliot and cursed herself for thinking that just because he walked back into her life she should drop everything and get back together with him. I mean he left her! What gives him the right to claim her?

Above all though, she had to be true to her heart. And her heart definitely beat to the rhythm that was Elliot.

"We'll see." Was all she said.

"You ate really well at dinner tonight Liv."

She smiled. She almost cleared her plate. Was it because of Elliot? Could he really have that much of an impact on her?

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOE

"Hey."

"Hey. Come in." Michael said.

He took her coat and they walked over to the couch. "How are the girls doing?"

"Their spirits are up."

"Can I get you something to eat? Drink?"

"No, I'm fine thanks."

"I missed you." He said leaning over and enveloping her body in his. His lips attached to hers and she took him in, "God you taste so good." He said.

"Michael we need to talk." She said wiping her mouth.

"I'm in love you Olivia Benson." He said almost as if he knew what she was going to say. He had to have her one last time. He pressed his lips firmly on hers again, as his hands ran up and down her back.

She moaned involuntarily into his mouth. He pressed his body against hers and they fell back on the couch. Her body not letting her stop.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia walked into her house ready to fall, completely. She found Elliot lying on the couch. He quickly got up when he saw her. She definitely looked frazzled.

"Girls?" She asked.

"Sound asleep."

"Maureen?"

"Left." he said taking another step closer to her.

She took a deep breath, and pushed him away, "I could have loved him. We could have been happy! He loves the girls, genuinely loves my girls." Her eyes began to water, and she pushed Elliot even further away, "YOU LEFT ME! You left me all alone! With out anyone! I didn't have anyone Elliot! I finally found someone, and then you pop back into my life and expect us to be together?"

"--Liv…" He interrupted, "I'm sorry…I'm sorry. If you want to be with him---"

"Shhh. Just let me finish." She took a deep breath, "I don't want to love you Elliot. Loving you scares me, because I don't know when you are going to leave me again. And I can't do that again El. I can't, I won't. If you leave me again, I will not pull through. Do you know how scary that is? That I'm so bound to you I ---I…" What ever else she said was inaudible for human ears. It sounded like a high pitch screeching.

He pressed his hand firmly on her shoulders and forced her to look into his eyes, "Olivia, I'm not leaving you again, ever, ever. I'm here Liv. I want to be with you. I love you so much. I always have, and until the day I die I always will." He pulled her into him, and she banged her fists into his chest while she wept.

"Shhh…shhh…I'm never leaving you Liv. It almost killed me the last time. I won't do that to either of us."

Elliot took a deep breath, remembering how awful his life was in Denver. He remembered how much of a depression he went into. One day he would tell her how bad he actually got. But not right now, this was about Olivia. He feels like a fool for what he tried to do--because compared to what Olivia went through, is going through---anything he felt failed in comparison.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"It's a complicated situation John. If it was normal circumstances I'm sure she wouldn't take him back. But he's the girls' father, and they're dying." Casey let out a deep sigh.

"I know. I just get so mad at him. He didn't see her world come crashing down on her. He was half the reason her world came down. He didn't see her cry day in and day out. He didn't see the pain in her eyes." John looked down at his half eaten plate. John seriously hated Elliot for what he did. And while he understands why Olivia has chosen to forgive him, he doesn't know if he will ever be able too. He saw first hand what his leaving did. He watched Olivia fall apart under his nose, and he can't just forget that.

"You were in love with her, weren't you?" She said slowly, as her heart stopped at the realization. It was so obvious, how did she not pick up on it sooner?

"Casey…" He said in a pleading voice.

"No, it's ok. I mean it's not like---"

"I don't anymore Case." He said grabbing her hand from across the table and giving her a smile.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"I called Dickie and Lizzie when you were gone." He said as he massaged her back.

"How are they doing?"

"They're ok. They wanted to know when I was coming back…"

"Oh…what did you say?"

"That I was moving back to NY, and I would come back sometime this week to pack my stuff."

"What did they say?"

"They want to come back home and live with me."

"Do they know about the girls?"

"No. I want to tell them in person."

"Will Kathy allow it?"

"I don't know Liv…but the twins are 16 now. Legally they can move in with who ever they choose. So what Kathy wants doesn't really matter."

"So---You think that they will want to move in here? With me? And the girls?"

"Are you kidding? In this castle? I'm sure they will love it. Are you sure you want them here? I mean I can get an apartment Liv…I don't want to---invade your space--"

"Elliot please. You know I wouldn't think that. Besides, we're a family right?"

He places his warm lips on the side of her neck and he pressed his hands firmly on her small shoulders.

"I can't wait to decorate their rooms! Oh! They can have the rooms above the garage! It's awesome. They will have their own separate entrance to the house. It's like an apartment attached to the house. There are 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, living room, and kitchen."

"Are you kidding!? Every 16 year olds dream. They're going to shit themselves."

Olivia started to get excited, "Yeah! And we can make the third room Kathleen's so she has a place to stay when she is on break!"

"You're really happy about this aren't you?"

"I guess so! Ava and Ella are going to love it! I can't wait to tell them!"

"Speaking of---when should we tell them that I'm their father?"

They heard something fall, and turned their heads immediately. Ava and Ella were standing right behind them. Ella's dolly dropped to the floor causing the interruption.

Elliot just looked at Olivia with wide eyes, 'I'm sorry' he mouthed to her.

"Ella, Ava…come here." She said gesturing them to come sit on her lap.

"Dat true Mommy? Elwee our Daddy?" Ava asked.

Olivia felt her eyes swell up, "Yes sweetheart, it is true. Elliot is your Daddy."

Ava turned to Ella, "We have a Daddy Ellie!" She screeched and then flew her body into Elliot giving him the biggest hug he had ever received. Elliot face said it all. Olivia had never seen him smile so big and bright in his life.

Ella looked at Elliot and then at Olivia, "How come Elwee our Daddy and not Mikey, mommy?"

Ouch.

"Well peaches, remember how I told you how babies develop in their mommy's tummy?"

"Uh huh! So day get big and strong!"

"Right. Well when two people love each other very much God takes….um ah he takes a piece of the Daddy, …and he um... places the daddy piece into in the mommy making the baby. And the piece that made you guys came from Elliot…does that make sense?"

Olivia gave Elliot a look like, 'am I explaining this ok?' He laughed a little and nodded 'yes' to her.

"So Elwee helped make us?"

"Yeah." Olivia said smiling.

Ella joined her sister in Elliot's lap and gave him a big hug, "I missed you Daddy." She said.

That one little comment made a tear fall down Elliot's cheek.

Olivia's heart was patching itself more and more everyday since Elliot came back. She was so relived that the girls had accepted Elliot. More importantly she was so relived that her children would have a father, a real father, a great father! And not have to go through their life wondering what their Father was like, like she had too.


	11. Chapter 11

**a/n: I can not be happier about Tuesday Epi! Philli is def. my new fave! There was sooo much EOness i couldn't even take it! (Just ask Rach! I was a mess) I loved loved loved it! **

** Thank you too all my wonderful reviewers, you guys make laugh!**

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Chapter 11

"They called me Daddy." Elliot said beaming with so much fatherly pride that brought tears to his eyes.

"I know." She said walking over to him and placing a glass of white wine in his hands, as she sat down next to him on the couch.

"It was amazing. I think Ella might have a harder time with accepting me then Ava."

Olivia smiled and sipped her wine, "She'll come around. I think she is just a little confused. I mean everyday for the past 4 months Michael has been their 'father' figure, and then you show up and…" She exhaled and put her hand to her forehead, "It will be fine. Everything will work out." She said with a small smile.

"They called me Daddy." Elliot said again.

"Well El, you are."

"Thank you Olivia." He said softly.

"For what?"

"For what? Are you serious? For everything. For my precious girls, for taking me back, for opening your house to me and my kids…just thank you." He turned to the side and kissed her on the lips, "You are the greatest Olivia. You are my rock."

"You're rock huh?" She said chuckling a little.

"My rock, my strength, my hope, my joy…my everything. I finally feel like a human being again. I feel complete when I'm with you Liv…" He said pressing his lips to hers, a little bit more passionate this time.

Olivia took the initiative and crawled up on Elliot's lap, straddling her legs around him. A devilish grin appeared on her face as she placed kisses around his neck. He exhaled loudly, "Liv…"

"Hmmm?" She said as her lips still pressed against his neck.

"Did you end it with him?"

"Uh…huh." She said as her voice cracked just a bit.

Satisfied with her answer he attacked his mouth with hers. "Olivia, let me make love to you tonight. Please." He begged her as his hands roamed up and down her back. He moaned loudly into her mouth and she instantly sank into his body.

The heated kiss just got underway when the intercom went off, "MOMMY! MOMMY!" Was the voice of Ella screaming through the intercom. Olivia didn't waste time going to the intercom; she bolted like lightening up the stairs and into the girl's room. Elliot quick on his heels behind her.

"Head spinney, Mommy…tummy hurting." Ella said when she saw her mother appear.

She sat down on Ella's bed and hugged her, she was burning up. "It's okay sweetie, your ok." She said rocking her gently in her arms. She laid her back down so she could go get the anti nausea medications from the girls bathroom.

While Olivia prepared the shot Elliot tried to comfort Ella, but with little effort on Ella's part. He tried to rub her back but Ella quickly swatted away his hand, and pushed him away from her. Elliot couldn't help it but he felt his heart break.

A second later Ella vomited all over the floor. "No sicky on you Elwee." She barely said before breaking into a cry.

Elliot felt his heart warm again. She wasn't pushing him away because she didn't accept him; she pushed him away because she didn't want to throw up on him. _Awe. That was so cute, _Elliot thought.

Olivia came over with Ella's meds and injected her with a shot in her thigh. She then picked her up and they headed to the bathroom. "I'll be back in ten, just going to run this one a bath." She said smiling at Elliot, "Don't worry about the mess I'll clean it up when the bath is done."

"I got it Liv." he said rubbing Ella's back as Olivia held her tight in her arms.

"No it's ok El. I'll do it."

"I got it. I got it…just tell me where the sheets are?"

She smiled at him with a thankful look in her eyes, "Closet, top shelf."

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

When Elliot was done, he walked towards that bathroom. He was about to knock when he heard a conversation between Ella and Olivia that made his heart hurt.

"Will we see Mikey anymore Mommy?"

"I don't think so sweetheart."

"Because of Elwee?"

Olivia cleared her throat taking caution on how to approach this topic. Ella spoke before she had the chance to respond, "Elwee wuv you mommy?"

"Yes, baby he loves me."

"But Mikey wuvs you too."

Olivia sighed, "You're such a smart pumpkin."

"Do you wuv Elwee?"

"Yes baby, very much. He gave me you girls."

"Do you wuv Mikey mommy?"

Olivia exhaled, "Not like I love Elliot."

"Mommy?"

"Yes, baby?"

"Does dat mean dat Elwee gabe me Ava?"

Her children would never cease to amaze her, "Yeah baby, you could look at it that way."

"Den I wuv Elwee more dan anyding else in da whole wided world!" Ella screeched and Olivia picked her up out of the tub and wrapped her in a huge Little Mermaid towel close to her chest.

"I mish you bushing my hair." Ella said just above a whisper. Olivia smiled at her and placed a kiss on her forehead.

On the other side of the door Elliot slumped down the wall and put his knees up to his chest and covered his face in his hands. Would he ever get the chance to see his girls brush their hair?

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia finally got Ella back to sleep. She shut the door leaving it open just a crack. She hit the intercom button, "El?"

"Yeah Liv" He said a couple of seconds later.

"What ya doing?" She said in a flirtatious way.

"Just straightening up down here. Ella finally asleep?"

"Yeah. I'm going to hop into the shower…and then go to bed. You coming up?"

"Sure am."

"Good. Can you just lock up before you do?"

"Not a problem."

She walked into the master bedroom and changed out of her clothes and put on her fluffy pink robe. She walked into the bathroom and started a hot shower she so rightfully deserved.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"Liv?" Elliot knocked on the bathroom door, and it opened slightly. Hesitating at first but then hearing the softness of her voice lingering him in.

She was listening to her favorite artist, Tom Petty. She was right in the middle of singing, "The Waiting". He smiled as he listened to her sing. Memories flashed through his mind from three years ago. When they first started seeing each other he wondered if she had any other CD's besides Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.

_Oh baby don't it feel like heaven right now_

_Don't it feel like somethin' from a dream_

_Yeah I've never known nothing quite like this_

_Don't it feel like tonight might never be again_

_We know better than to try and pretend_

_Baby no one could have ever told me 'bout this_

_The waiting is the hardest part_

_Every day you see one more card_

_You take it on faith, you take it to the heart_

_The waiting is the hardest part _

He remembers being in Denver and hearing, Tom Petty on the radio. He would feel a sense or warmth run through his body. He remembered when he came home later that day with every CD Tom Petty had ever produced only to have Kathy set them on fire in one of her fits of rage. He re-bought them the next day, and hid them very carefully.

When she noticed his figure through the steamy door, she poked her head out from the shower door and smiled at him and blushed slightly.

"Hey." She said turning down the music a little.

"Hi" He smiled back, "I missed hearing you sing."

"You must be tone deaf." She said making fun of herself.

"You have the most amazing voice of anyone I have ever heard. I see you never got over that Petty obsession of yours." He said with a laugh.

"Not in a million years Stabler. In fact I got two more Petty fans to join the obsession." She said laughing.

His eyes were begging, but his voice wouldn't cooperate, thank God Liv was so good at reading him, "You just going to stand there? Or are you going to join me?" She said pulled the shower door open just enough so he could get in.

He ripped his clothes off faster then Olivia had ever seen anyone do before and hopped in. "Can I wash your hair?" He asked her.

Although she had already washed her hair she handed him the shampoo bottle. She missed his hands on her. Missed him touching her like this.

He massaged her scalp with the shampoo, "You hair is so long Liv….I love it."

"Thanks. I like it too." She said turning to face him and placed her lips against his briefly.

"You have an intercom in the shower? Are you serious?" He said while his hands ran through her hair

Olivia let out a loud laugh, "I had too! Once the girls were born, I kept hearing them crying, so I would get out and check on them, but of course they were sleeping like the angels they are, so I would head back to the shower and repeat the process over and over again."

Elliot let out a small laugh and kissed her shoulders, "God, you are so gorgeous." He said as he grabbed the bottle of conditioner. She turned around and fell back into his chest, and rubbed her stomach, and drew a line with her pointer finger along her stretch marks, as he rubbed his strong hands on the top of her scalp. She looked down at her stretch marks, she had always been proud of them. She would hear other mothers complain about them and wish that they didn't have them. But not Liv she loved her marks, it was a reminder that good things could come out this world, more importantly good things could happen to her.

While the conditioner was in her hair he pulled her back around so he could face her. He smiled and pressed his lips to hers as the water ran down on them. He smoothed his hands on the top of her head rinsing the suds away. When all of the conditioner was out of her hair Elliot sat her down on the built in seat. He leaned down and kissed her lips as hard and passionately as he could. He smiled through his lips when she moaned softly into them. He took that as his cue to move his lips down south. He stopped and spent some time sucking on each very erect nipple.

He couldn't believe he was doing this to her again. His hands roaming freely on her body, able to make her react in such pleasure was something he never thought he would get the chance to do again. He got hard just thinking about it.

He placed his hands on her knees and pushed them outward. His hands ran slowly up and down her outer thighs, before making their big move over to her upper inner thigh. Her hands rubbed up and down his back and through his hair.

He dipped his finger into her to see how far along she was. He smiled when he felt her wet and sticky. His hands ran across her bottom and he looked up to her and smiled. He had to kiss her again. The kiss was so hard and passionate Liv's back smacked into the tiles. Not that she cared, she could care less. He pulled back from the kiss and stared intently in her eyes. "I missed you." He said and placed kisses down south. He stopped when he saw her stretch marks. He looked up at her and smiled, and kissed everyone from end to end. Sensing she was going to loose it soon, he continued his lips downward.

She nearly gasped out loud when she felt his lips upon her for the first time in such a long time. His tongue slid across her outer core sending shivers throughout her entire body. "My God El." She gasped as his tongue slid around her most sensitive area.

He brought his hands up to her breasts and squeezed them as he worked his magic on her core. Her body was going to go into convulsions if he kept this up much longer. He dipped his tongue in and around her. The water pressure from the shower was making the experience ten times more enjoyable.

"Elliot…El…slow down…not. going. to. last." She gasped out trying to hold off on her orgasm.

He pulled his head up and grinned, "I could never control myself around you." He said and crashed his lips on hers before he slid back down and continued what he was doing down south.

He added his fingers into the mix this time. His thumb rubbed circles around her nub while his tongue swirled around her walls. His free hand he used to cup her bottom and squeeze as she moved in complete ecstasy.

"Elliot." She panted out as his flicked her nub with his tongue, sending her head back against the wall as the water was splashing around them.

"Let go Liv…please." He said as he took a deep breath.

"No, I wanna wait for you… I wanna come with you." She mumbled.

"We will I promise, but I want to _see_ you come Liv." Was all he said before she gave in and let her orgasm take full effect.

"Fucking God. Elliot!" She said as she pressed her hands on the wet wall and tried to catch her breath and not suffocate Elliot with her thighs when her body went into shock waves from her undeniable earth shattering orgasm. Wow. Even in her dreams she never came as hard as she just did. Elliot ate her up enjoying every last drop of her wetness.

She bit down on his shoulder to keep her from continuing to scream. She learned the hard way that as big as her house was, it still wasn't sound proof. She would never live down the night when both Ava and Ella came walking into her bedroom and scared the living hell out of both her and Michael.

She cursed herself for thinking of Michael at this moment. She quickly opened her eyes and tilted Elliot's head so that she could look into his magnificent blue eyes. She stared into them for a moment or two just to make sure they were his eyes she was looking into. She studied them intently. They were his eyes. No more pretending, no more wishing of them. He was here, back into her arms, back into her life.

She cupped his face with her hands, "I love you, Elliot. I always have." She said quietly, as the water poured down on them.

"I love you too Liv, always have, always will."

"Please don't leave me. I couldn't take it." She whispered.

Elliot sighed, what would he have to do to get her to trust him again? He took a deep breath, she had every right not too. She had every right to feel the way she was feeling.

_I don't deserve her, but I will never leave her again, ever._

"I'm not leaving you or the girls ever Liv." He cupped her face and made her look into his eyes, "I'm. not. Leaving. You. Ever. Again. I promise…Can I make love to you now?"

She smiled at him, "Not here, bedroom." She said still trying to catch her breath from her orgasm.

He turned off the shower and opened the door, and they both stepped out. He got an oversized towel and placed it around Olivia's soaking wet body. He got another one and dried himself off. He pressed his body against hers as they both stood there for a moment, his rock hard erection pressed firmly against her. He looked into her warm brown eyes and couldn't help but kiss her. "I never stopped loving you Olivia, not for a second, _Not. One. Second_."

"I know." She said gripping her arms around him tighter, "Me either." She placed his lips to his and led them to her bed.

"Liv?"

"Mmmhmm?" She asked as her lips traveled the length of his chest.

"I…ah…ummm…"

"Spit it out El." She said as she tackled him to the bed and climbed on top of him.

He gave a nervous laugh, "It's been a long time Liv."

"I know." She said kissing his chest and straddling her legs around his hips. Feeling his erection at the entrance of her center.

"No…I um don't think you understand. For me Liv…I haven't been with anyone else since…you." He said shyly.

Olivia shot right up, "What? Really? That is like years Elliot."

He smiled at her, "Yeah I know. Trust me_ I know_."

"You waited? All that time…but why?"

"Because I love you. I just couldn't be with anyone else. I couldn't even look at anyone else because no one compared to you. No one will ever measure up to you Olivia."

"Dang Stabler…I guess we have a lot of time to make up for." She said with a wink in one of her sexiest voices. She could not believe he waited for her. _He never stopped loving you. _She felt a wave of happiness run through her body. All those years questioning and wondering if Elliot ever loved her at all, gone. She got her answer and she couldn't have been happier in this moment.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

Her knuckles were white as her hands clenched the sheets tight, but she held on with every fiber of her being as Elliot thrust into her harder and deeper each time. His hands were held firmly on her waist as he brought himself further inside of her.

"Liv," He moaned out as he held onto her hips tightly. He stopped his thrusting for a moment, "Liv, open your eyes," She opened them and stared into his magnificent cerulean blue eyes, "I missed you," He said and then kissed her on the lips, "I love you so much Liv."

She smiled up at him, "I missed you too El and I love you very much. Feelings as strong as ours never go away do they?"

"Never." He said with a shit eating grin.

"El?"

"Hmm?"

"Move…now." She giggled and then quickly felt her orgasm begin to build in the bottom of her stomach as he did as she said.

"Bossy, bossy," He said with a smile.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"You okay, John?" Fin asked as he looked up from his paperwork.

"Yeah, fine." He answered a little too quickly.

Fin got up and walked around his desk and plopped himself on the corner of John's desk, "Listen John, I know you are having a hard time dealing with Elliot being back, but it's for the best."

"I know. I know that. I just thought I was over her, you know? I didn't think it would affect me the way that it has." He said as he let out a sigh.

"Casey notice?"

"A little I guess. And that's the other thing; I don't want to hurt her. I mean I of all people know what it feels like when the person you love doesn't love you back. I don't want to hurt her like that, because I do like Casey, I just don't…love her…not yet anyways."

"Have you seen him since he came strolling in here?"

"No, and it's killing me. I miss the girls, but I can't bring myself to go over there. I can't put it off much longer though."

"Well let's make plans to go over there, we'll go together."

"What do we even say to him? I mean she obviously forgave him---he must have had his reasons---what they are? Lord even knows because you would have to move hell and high water to leave her…" He let out another sigh. Realization. _Fuck. I still love her…_

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"El!" She gasped as he hit just the right spot. His mouth quickly pressed to hers to muffle the screams. Her fingernails trailed down his back and her legs quivered with each passing second. "Elliot. Fuck." She said just above a whisper. His erect member knew all the right spots. Yes he remembered every single one, and made sure that he hit every last one. He knew the one that drove her wild; she would never be able to contain herself. He thrusted hard and to the right, over and over and over, "Yes…fuck, Elliot!"

"You're going to get us caught Liv." He said but doing nothing to stop it, "You never could be quiet could you?"

"Not with you inside me, no."

"I've missed you so much." He said as he bit down on her shoulder and released himself inside of her.

She screamed as she came as well. She collapsed on top of him, sweaty and out of breath. "Hot Damn Stabler, you never lost your touch." She said and then kissed him hard on the mouth.

He smiled at the compliment. "I never want to be apart from you again."

"Then don't."

"Never."

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"You're going to come back right?" She had asked him that hundred times since he bought his plane ticket. She couldn't help it. She couldn't help but have that fear that he would stay in Denver.

He grabbed her by the shoulders and looked directly into her eyes, "Nothing could tear me away from you or my girls Liv. Nothing. I will be back in a few days. Promise." He pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back.

"I'm sorry I keep asking."

"Don't be. I understand." He hugged her tight and planted a deep kiss on her mouth. He rubbed his hand up the back of her shirt, underneath her shirt. _Bones, all bones, _he thought.

As if sensing he was feeling her up for the pure purpose of counting her bones she pulled away. She knew that trick; Michael did it to her too many times.

"Don't start anything you can't finish." She teased looking at her watch. It was getting late. He had taken extra time saying goodbye to the girls. Telling them that when he got back he was bringing their sister and brother. The girls couldn't have been more excited. They had always wanted siblings.

"They still haven't called me 'daddy' since that first night."

"They will. It will just take some time."

"I know…it just stings a little bit."

She kissed him on the lips, and ran her hands on his bottom. He laughed, "Don't you start anything either there missy." He said and removed her hands, "You know I can't control myself around you."

She laughed and he grabbed his suitcase and they headed down stairs. The moment his feet hit the ceramic tile, he heard the honk from cab.

"My ride is here."

"I love you Elliot. More then you could possibly know. Come back to us."

He dropped his bag and pulled her tight into his chest. "Always. I will always come back to you. I will call you as soon as I get there. And I mean it when I say; I love you more then you could ever possibly know."

"I know, I love you too."

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"Coming!" Olivia called out as she ran through her the living room. Cleaning up some toys that were scattered through out her way. She smiled; it had been awhile since she had to pickup toys.

She opened the door and was surprised when she saw who it was, "John." She said just below a whisper. She immediately felt the hurt from him. She had hurt him, and she didn't even mean too.

"What I don't get a Hello?" Fin interrupted the brief but awkward silence.

Olivia laughed, "I'm sorry Fin. Hi! How are you?"

"I'm fine now…so where are my two favorite rug rats?"

"In the kitchen playing with play-dough."

She followed them into the kitchen. "RUG RATS!" Fin yelled and both girls yelped with glee as they saw the visitors.

"UNCEY MUNCHIE! UNCEY FIEN!!!" They got up and each man picked up a girl and gave them hugs, and then switched.

"I missed you guys so much!" John said as he sat Ella back down.

"I miss-ed you too!" Ella said and Ava nodded in agreement.

"Guess what?" Ava gasped with a smile on her face that went from ear to ear.

"What's that?" John said overly excited.

"We found a DADDY!" He couldn't help it, the words pained his heart. He choked back his pride.

"How very lucky for you guys."

"Yeah! And he is a good Daddy too! I frown up on him and he didn't even be mad!"

John had to laugh at that. He would have paid good money to see Elliot with throw up all over him.

"Yeah! I frown up on him too!" Ella butted in.

"And dis one time I cried cause I was hurted and Daddy said dat he loved me!" Ava stated.

Olivia had tears in her eyes; they were referring to him as 'Daddy" Elliot would be so proud. She knew that this must be killing John though…

"And one time when I got sicked all over da bed he cleaned it up and put Little Mermaid sheets on my bed!"

"The Little Mermaid! Wow!" Fin gasped.

John looked at Olivia; he knew that this must be hard for her too. That every single story the girls had talked about had them throwing up. It was all they did these days. Sleep and get sick.

"You guys came at a good time. The girls haven't been up to play in a long time." She said as she rubbed Ella's shoulder.

"So where is the big man?" John asked. Olivia looked up at him, "What we had to bring it sooner or later." He said as matter of factly.

"Denver. He's getting Dickie and Lizzie. They are going to stay with us." She said knowing that every word was like a dagger in poor Johns' heart, "Hey Fin? You mind keeping an eye on the girls while I talk to John in private for a little bit?"

"Not a problem Livia."

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"Are you ok John? I know this must be hurting you." She said as she sat down on the couch next to him.

"I'm fine Liv. I just want you to be happy."

"I know, but don't pretend that it doesn't bother you."

"I'm not. It's killing me. I just don't understand how he could be away for so long with out any word. I mean if I was him I would never---" He stopped and looked into her disappointing eyes, "hurt you."

She took his hand and placed it in hers, "Yes you would John. Because that's what love is. We hurt people that we love, but we forgive them also. And I forgave him John because I can't breathe with out him. I love him John, and--"

He cut her off, "Don't you think I know that?! I know you love him Olivia!" He stood up. Why was he so mad? "I get it ok!"

"Ok." She said softly.

"I shouldn't have come here."

"Why? Why can't we go back to how we were before?"

"I don't know. I just…he's back."

"Yeah."

"I'm just jealous Liv. That's all."

"You weren't jealous of Michael."

"You didn't love Michael. I knew that was going to end sooner or later…"

She smiled, "So you don't think me and Elliot are going to end?"

"No. And that is why it hurts so much."

"I'm so sorry I hurt you John."

She pulled him into a hug. "I do love you John. You know that right?"

"Yeah Liv. I know." _You just don't love me the way I love you._

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"The Chemo is working Olivia. This is very good news. We saw increase in their White Blood cells." Ana was telling Olivia as she watched her girls lay in the hospital beds.

"Are they going to make it?"

"You know I don't know that Olivia. But they are improving. But that is also the sickness of this disease. There are good days, and bad days, and just when you think you had a bad day, the next is great, and vice versa. It can still go either way. But they are fighting Olivia; they are fighting with every fiber of their being. You are taking great care of them."

Olivia held back her tears, "Thank you."

"Have they had any injuries since last time?"

"Not one do you believe it?"

"That is good. Very good. Because their platelets are still low, so their blood won't clot so easily. You know if they start to bleed you have to bring them in right away right?"

"Yes, Ana I know. You have told me a million times."

Ana laughed, "I guess I have."

"Well they should be almost done with the chemo. Do you have anything you want to talk to me about that we haven't gone over?"

Olivia stood up, "No I'm good. I just want to be with my girls."

"Ok." She said and patted Olivia on the shoulder, "Oh Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"You look great. I'm glad to see that you are taking care of yourself."

Olivia smiled, "Thank you."

"Are you eating three meals a day?"

"Pretty much."

"Good for you Liv. I'm very proud of you."

"Thanks." Liv said, knowing that Elliot was all the difference.

"I'll see you guys next week." Ana said and walked out.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"Hello?" Olivia whispered into her cell phone. She had just gotten the girls to sleep. The chemo had made them sicker then ever. The girls threw up everything, and then dry heaved for the past 8 hours.

"Hey baby. It's me."

"Hi." She smiled, "It sounds so good to hear your voice? How are you?"

"I'm good. I just got back to the hotel. How did the Chemo go today?"

"Not good El. They are so sick. But, there white blood cells are up, so that is a good sign…I guess."

"I wish I was there."

"Me too."

"How are Lizzie and Dickie?"

"Good. They are excited to come live with us."

"Did you tell them about the girls?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"And, they are happy for us. Can't wait to meet them."

FLASHBACK

_"Dad! You're here!" Dickie yelled as he hopped into the car._

_"Thanks for picking us up from school, Daddy!" Lizzie grinned and gave her father a big hug._

_"I missed you guys!" Elliot said hugging her back._

_"We can't wait to go home Dad! We are all packed!" Lizzie said excitedly._

_"Yeah? You say goodbye to all your friends?"_

_"We don't have friends here Daddy." Dickie growled, "But we called all our old friends from back home! I can't wait to see them!"_

_"You guys want to go out for dinner?"_

_"YEAH!" They both shouted._

_That sat down at the restaurant. This was it. Elliot had to tell them about their sisters._

_"Listen guys, there is something very important I have to tell you before we move back."_

_Lizzie and Dickie picked up on their dads voice, it was his very serious voice. They knew that whatever he was going to say was going to be very serious, and very important._

_"When we get back to NY things are going to be different. Things are going to be very different. Um…living arrangements…ah…"_

_"You're moving in with Liv aren't you?" Dickie asked, and Elliot nodded._

_"Oh no! Does that mean we can't go with you Dad?" Lizzie cried._

_"What? No. Sweetie no. Liv has a very big house, big enough for an army. She is very excited about having you guys stay with us. You guys are going to die when you see your rooms. It's like a small apartment."_

_"Really!" Lizzie said almost jumping out of her chair._

_"Yes really. But um…there's more."_

_"Liv and I aren't the only ones who live there."_

_"Ooookay..." Dickie said slowly trying to get to the point of where his father was going with this one._

_"Um…Olivia has …children."_

_"What!!!!!!! GET OUT! Liv is a mom??" Lizzie screeched again._

_"Yeah. Yup. Two beautiful girls. Twins…identical actually. They are adorable."_

_"Oh my God that is great!" Lizzie chimed in again._

_"Um…yeah…they are almost three now…" Elliot said hoping that his kids would get the hint._

_"Really? Three? But you…and…oh….oh oh oh oh!" He could almost hear Lizzie's brain clicking_

_There it was. She got it._

_"So? What does that mean?" Dickie asked._

_Dickie, God love him. Not as quick as his other half. _

_"Their kids aren't they Dad? You are their father."_

_He smiled at her, "Yes I am."_

_"Oh." Dickie replied._

_"Do you have any pictures?" Dickie asked._

_"Yeah." Elliot pulled out his digital camera and passed it to them, "There is more though." He said and hung his head. This was going to be the hard part. He felt the tears in his eyes begin to build already._

_"They're bald Dad…are they sick?"_

END FLASHBACK

"What about Kathleen? Does she know yet?"

"No not yet. She left for New York the day I got here. I guess she changed plans last minute. So she is with Maureen now. I'll call them when I'm hang up with you and get the scoop. Maureen will probably want to bring over to the house, is that ok?"

"Are you kidding me? Of course it is ok."

Elliot smiled, "I miss you."

"I miss you too. Guess what happened today?"

"What?"

"John and Fin came over to visit the girls, and all they could talk about was, their Daddy!"

"Really? They called me Daddy?"

"Yup, it was so cute." She frowned a little knowing the pain that John was going through. She wanted to tell Elliot about it, just to get it off her chest, but she couldn't. Could she? No…that didn't seem right. But she needed to tell someone, she sure as shit couldn't tell Casey about it.

"Liv, you there?"

"Uh huh. Sorry."

"That's ok…so did you eat today?"

Olivia smiled, "Yeah. All three meals." She lied. Why did she lie? She didn't eat at all, 'enter excuse here'.

"You're lying to me Olivia. Don't do that." He wasn't mean about it, he just was stating the facts.

She smiled, "How'd you know?"

"I know you. Promise me you are going to go eat something when we hang up."

"I promise."

"You have to now Liv. You can make a promise and not keep it."

"Okay."

"Okay. I love you. I'll be home tomorrow."

Her eyes lit up, "TOMORROW! Really?"

"Yup. About 8pm."

"I'm so excited."

"Me too. Home for good Liv. Home for good." He smiled and looked down at the little black box that contained the most beautiful princess cut ring he had ever seen.

He had bought it oh so long ago. He was still in New York, they were still together. He'll never forget the day. It was supposed to be the best day of his life, and somehow turned out to be his worst. He was going to propose, make Olivia his forever.

Instead Kathy had called him and told him she was moving to Denver, but not only that, but that she got full custody of the kids, and they were going with her.

"I can't wait to be one big happy family." He said.

She laughed, "Yeah were the modern day Brady's."

It got a chuckle out of him. He then heard a noise on the other side of the phone, "Everything ok Liv?"

"Uh Yeah…shit…I gotta go, Ava's crying. I'll call you later."

"Ok, I love you bye! Give them kisses! Oh and EAT something, remember you promised."

"Yeah, yeah, ok. I love you too. Can't wait to see you tomorrow." She clicked her phone shut and ran upstairs.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"Mommy I no want to be sicked anymore." Ava said and snuggled up in Olivia's lap.

God they were both just skin and bone. If Olivia shaved her head she bet that she would be mistaken for a cancer patient as well. She shook her head, _how the heck did that happen?_

"I know sweetie I know. I don't want you to be sick either." She said as she rocked her gently back and forth. They laid down on her bed and Olivia wrapped her arm protectively around her. Before she knew it she was fast asleep.

She woke up about two hours later. Her stomach was growling. She was going to ignore it, like she had been for awhile now, but instead she remembered her promise to Elliot.

She slowly got up being careful not to wake Ava. She walked down stairs and into the kitchen. She slowly got out a box of cereal and some milk. She sat down at the island and slowly ate the cereal.

When she was done she headed upstairs and got ready for bed. As soon as she was snuggled amongst the covers she called Elliot. She could tell right away that he was asleep.

"Liv?"

"Yeah, babe it's me."

"Everything ok?"

"Everything is fine. I just wanted to let you know that I ate, and now I'm going to bed, oh and I love you."

"I love you too Liv. I'm very proud of you. Thank you for keeping your promise."

"Promises are made to be kept."

"Yes they are."

"So you're in bed huh?" She said in a deep throaty voice that drove him nuts.

"Uh huh…" He said and smiled.

"What are you wearing?" She said in the sexy voice she could drag up.

"You're naughty Liv." He laughed out.

"I am Detective. And I have been a very bad girl."

"Olivia!"

"What?"

He laughed, ok he would play too, "What are _you_ wearing my sweet lady?"

She smiled and licked her lips, "Nothing."

She could hear him grown through the telephone, "I love you more then Life."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

"Dad?"

"Yes, son?" Elliot asked as he took off his headphones.

"Mom really made you mad, huh?"

Elliot sighed, "Yeah, she did."

_Oh yeah._

"Are we breaking the law Dad?" He asked very seriously.

Elliot let out a laugh, "No son. We are good."

"I'm nervous." He said very quietly.

"About the flight?" They were an hour into the flight. Lizzie was already sleeping on the other side of him. He was almost home. He couldn't wait.

"No…about living at Olivia's, with Eva and Ella."

"Ava." Elliot corrected, "Why are you nervous?"

"What if she doesn't like us? Were not her children…"

"Dickie, Olivia loves you guys, just as much as she loves the girls. Trust me son, I wouldn't have you guys move in if she didn't love you as much as I did. And trust me, once you see where you are going to staying---well that's all I'm going to say."

"Dad?"

"Mmmhmm?"

"You have six kids!" He said and they both laughed.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"I bought this house because of this part." Olivia said as she and Casey put fresh sheets on the beds.

She thought this was the perfect way to keep her girls close and safe to her while they went through their, 'We wanna live on our own' phase. Since the girl got sick, this part of the house just made her sad. She wondered if it would ever get lived in.

Having Dickie and Lizzie move in was a good thing, a real good thing. No more sadness when she walked by, no more dreams about the room not being lived in.

"Dickie and Lizzie are going to love it." Casey replied.

"And Kathleen too, when she needs a place to stay. I made sure I got groceries so their fridge is packed, and snacks galore, I made sure I got all their favorites." She rubbed her hand over her face, surly she forgot to do something…hmmm.

"You look exhausted Liv. Did you sleep last night?"

"Not very much. The girls were sick pretty much all night."

"Ah. Poor things. How are they today?"

"They've been sleeping pretty much all day. They were so excited to meet their new brother and sister. They were also excited about meeting another set of twins. I don't know if they will be awake when they get here. They normally are out for the count the first few days after chemo."

"What did their Doctor say yesterday?" Casey asked.

"Well their white blood cells are up so that is good. We are half way through the treatments. So just four more weeks of this living hell…but only to possibly go through it all over again or…" She sat down on the bed, "God I can't even think of the 'or's…"

Casey sat down next to her, "We can't worry about that right now Liv. You can't do that yourself." She put her arm around her and wrapped her in a hug.

After a few minutes of just sitting there Olivia finally released herself from Casey's arms, "Thank you Casey. Sometimes I don't know what I would do with out you."

"That's what friends are for Liv."

"I hope they like their room. I didn't decorate it because I thought they would want to choose out the patterns and stuff, so when they get here I'll just take them shopping…or Lizzie at least, I'm pretty sure Dickie would think that was torture."

Casey laughed, "Well I better get going. Is there anything you want me to do before I go?"

"No I think I'm all set. Thanks. For coming over and helping me. I really appreciate it."

"Not a problem. If you need anything, call me."

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"Dad?"

"Yeah Dickie?"

"Are you happy…with Liv? Have you been happy the past few days?"

Elliot exhaled. His kids knew way more then they should, "Son, I'm the happiest I have ever been."

Dickie hugged his father, "I'm glad Dad. It made me sad to see you so unhappy in Denver."

"I know son. I'm sorry you had to see that." Elliot wondered how much he actually knew. He prayed he didn't know everything...

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, son."

"Are we almost there yet?"

"Almost."

Dickie leaned back in his seat. He was very nervous about seeing Olivia. But not because he didn't love her, it was actually because of that reason that he was so nervous.

He remembered going through his fathers things shortly after they moved. He found a photo of Olivia that was definitely intended for Elliot's eyes only. He felt something he had never felt before in his lower region. His pants began to feel tight, and he couldn't stop staring at that photo.

And ever since then the mere mention of Olivia's name would lead him running to the bathroom and locking the door. As he grew older and learned what was going on with his body how to control it. After awhile he forgot about Olivia like that, but what would happen now that he saw her in person?

Just thinking of her on the plane right then he could feel his pants begin to tighten. He quickly got the thought out of his mind and started counting to ten.

EOEOEOEO

"Mommy! Mommy!" Olivia heard the cries from Ella, and quickly stood to her feet and ran towards the sound.

"Mommy's here. Mommy's here." She said as she ran into the room, "What is it sweetheart? Tell Mommy's what wrong."

"I had an accident." She cried. Olivia looked down; sure enough her sheets were soiled.

"Oh baby, that's ok. We'll get you cleaned up."

"I so sorry Mommy. I'm a big girl."

"It's ok, it was just an accident, even big girls have accidents."

"Mommy, I no feel good."

"I know sweetheart. I know." She said as she picked her up and brought her to the bathroom to draw up a bath.

EOEOEOEOEO

"Are my broder and sister here mommy?"

"No baby, not yet."

Ella played with the locket around Olivia's neck that contained photos of Ella and Ava, "Are day going to be madded cause we can't pay wit dem?"

"No baby, they won't be mad."

"You're skinny Mommy." Olivia looked down; she was changing because she got soaked during the bath.

Olivia let out a chuckle. Her girls were so intuitive, "I guess so."

"I go back to sweepy, Mommy. Will you waked me when day get here?"

"I sure will."

"Pinky sare?"

"Pinky swear."

Olivia brought Ella into her room so she could change the sheets. Thank God she got the plastic covers for the mattresses, she thought.

She placed a kiss on Ella's forehead.

_Warm._

She went to there bathroom to grab the medicine kit so she could take her temperature.

_102.1. _

Not high enough that she would have to take her to the hospital but high enough that she would have to keep a close eye on her.

She laid her down and got into bed with her. She wrapped her arms around her and began to cry. How much longer could she hold on? She was breaking inside and nothing or no one could stop it.

Their fate was out of her hands, there was nothing she could do, nothing. So she held on tight and loved them like she never thought she would be able to love another human being.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"Liv? Liv, were home!" Elliot called through the house. Lizzie and Dickie's mouths were hung open, and Elliot was sure drool was going to pour out at any second.

"I can't believe we are going to live here!" Dickie exclaimed as he put his bag down.

"Are we dreaming?" Lizzie asked.

Elliot laughed, "Liv!" He called out again.

_Hmph._

"Where are you Liv?" He looked around, but still no sign of her, "She must be upstairs with the girls. There are these intercom things, but I will be damned if I know how to work them. You guys will have teach me." He pointed to one of them, "Oh look she put your names on it, instead of spare room 1,004." He giggled, "You guys take a look around, while I go upstairs and get Liv. The kitchen is through that hall if you want to get a snack."

"Ok Dad." Lizzie said and Elliot headed for the stairs.

"Liv?" He said as he approached the girls' room. No Liv and no Ella. He placed a kiss on Ava's head and walked out towards her bedroom.

"Liv?" He said just above a whisper. He couldn't help but smiled. Something about Liv snuggling with Ella in that huge bed made his heart melt. She looked so peaceful, both of them. He climbed onto the bed next to her and wrapped his hands around her tiny waist. He kissed the back of her neck, "Were home Liv." He brought his hand down her curves and sneaked his way into her inner thigh.

"Mmm."

Yeah that got her attention. She turned around and placed her hands around Elliot, her eyes were still closed, "We missed you."

"I missed you guys too." He said bringing his lips to meet hers.

"Mmmm…if you keep kissing me like that I'm not going to get out of bed to greet your kids."

He pressed his body closer to hers, "Ah, you know what they look like." He said and invaded her mouth once again.

She slapped him on the chest playfully, "We have to wake up the girls, they are dying to meet the twins."

"Ooookay, I'll get Ava, you wake Ella."

"Deal." She said and they kissed on it.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"Ava? Sweetie. Your brother and sister are here. Do you feel like getting up to meet them?"

Ava turned towards Elliot, and her eyes fluttered open and she let out a long yawn, "Ellwie? Is dat you?"

"Yes sweetie, it's me." He said.

"Can you pick me up, my legs hurt Daddy?" His heart melted, she called him Daddy.

"Anything for my baby girl." He carefully picked her up and headed down the hall where he was greeted with Liv, who was holding Ella.

"There legs are in intense pain." She explained, "Nothing seems to help."

Elliot nodded, and grabbed Olivia's hand with his free one. They walked down the stairs, each equally nervous as to how everyone would react.

"Lizzie? Dickie?" Elliot called out, as he walked through the hallway, towards the living room. They were sitting down on the couch, perfectly, as if they were afraid to touch anything.

"Olivia!" Lizzie gasped. She gasped because she looked like she had been through hell.

_No shit Lizzie, her girls are dying._

Olivia put Ella down on the couch and hugged Lizzie, "It is so good to see you Lizzie! I can't believe how grown up you are!" She said kissing her cheek, "And you young man! Look at you!" She said to Dickie and pulled him into a hug with Lizzie, not even allowing Dickie the chance to protest.

When she released both Lizzie and Dickie she turned to her girls. She bent down so she was at their level, "Ava, Ella, this is Lizzie, and this is Dickie."

The girls smiled, but were unable to say anything. Olivia could tell that they were in pain, and definitely not feeling well. They were so excited to meet the twins, and they were so weak they couldn't even muster out a, 'hello'.

"Why aren't you guys the cutest things I have ever seen!" Lizzie exclaimed. They were adorable, but looked so sick. It was hard for Lizzie to look at them. They had really dark circles under their eyes, and were as pale as ghosts. They had no hair, and looked extremely weak.

Dickie hung back, and watched. He didn't say anything; he didn't know what to say. He wanted to cry. The girls looked ten times worse then they did in the photos that Elliot showed them.

"The girls had their Chemo yesterday so they are extra sick today." She informed them, as she ran her hand over their bald heads, "They have been waiting to meet you guys though, and made me pinky swear that I woke them as soon as you guys got here, didn't you?"

"Yeah." Ava smiled, "We made you a pesent."

"Oh my God I completely forgot." Olivia shrieked and got up from the couch and headed towards the kitchen. She came back with a giant banner, 'WELCOME HOME LIZZIE AND DICKIE', "Ava and Ella had colored it, and put their hand prints all over it. They couldn't wait for you guys to get here." She smiled looking down at them.

"Oh it's beautiful. Thank you guys very much." Lizzie told them.

"Sorry I didn't get a chance to put it up…"

"That's ok Liv; it's the thought that counts right?" Dickie finally spoke. Olivia smiled at him; it almost made his heart stop.

"Did you guys check out your rooms yet?" She asked enthusiastically.

"Nope not yet."

Olivia looked at Ella and Ava; sure enough they had fallen back to sleep and were snuggling up against each other on the couch. "Okay well let me just put these two back to bed and I'll show you the way."

"I'll help." Elliot said as he rose to his feet.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEEOEOEO

"God they are so beautiful." Elliot said as he shut the girls' door, and squeezed Olivia's waist kissing the back of her neck.

"I know." She whispered and turned herself around so that she could kiss Elliot square on the mouth.

She pressed him up against the wall, and attacked his mouth hard. Her hands cupped his jaw and she moaned into his mouth. His hands roamed around her lower back, pulling his body as close to him as he could, "Liv." He whimpered.

"I've missed you." He said, and drew his hands to her breasts. He opened the first few buttons and placed kisses down her chest. He moved her bra so he could suck on her nipple. "Jesus Liv." He moaned.

With each suck he took he moved his hands further and further down. He reached the button on her jeans and unclasped it. He pulled down the zipper as well as her jeans and panties.

"Elliot!" She said in protest.

"Shhh…" He replied as he looked up at her and deep in her eyes, begging her to allow him to continue.

He spread her legs apart and disappeared between her thighs.

"Elliot!" She gasped at the first touch of his tongue on her warm center, "The kids El," She started to say.

"Shhh."

"They could walk in at anytime." She said as her eyes began to flutter.

"Shhhh…" He said as he licked her harder and placed his hands on her hips and squeezed tightly.

"Holy hell, El." She said dancing her hands through his hair.

"You taste so good." He mumbled between her heated thighs. He roamed his tongue around and over her center, pressing firmly.

"Uhh…" She moaned out, "El…"

"Shhhh…"

"Oh my God El." She panted as he continued to stroke her folds with his tongue.

Her legs began to buckle and he knew it wouldn't be that much longer. He inserted a finger into her pool of wetness sending her over the edge.

"Fuck, Elliot!" She moaned and could feel herself loosing control.

"Let go Liv, let go."

"El…" She moaned as she could feel her orgasm begin to diffuse and ready to explode. Her head flew back against wall, making a very distinctive 'thud'.

He swirled his tongue around and waited for her to release. When he felt her fluids amongst his mouth he licked them up and kissed her softly. He helped her back into her panties and jeans.

"What was that for?" She asked as she zippered back up.

"Because I Love you, and have been dying to taste you." He said crashing his lips into hers, "I missed you so much Liv."

"I definitely owe you. Bedtime, your mine." She said kissing him back.

They fixed themselves up and headed down stairs to get his twins and show them to their bedrooms.

Olivia prayed to God that she didn't look like Elliot had just eaten the shit out of her, or that they didn't hear anything...

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"Your house is beautiful Olivia." Lizzie said as she began to unpack her suitcase.

"Our house." Olivia corrected, "I thought tomorrow I could take you shopping to decorate. I wasn't sure what you liked, and plus I thought it would be fun, just us."

"I would love it!" Lizzie gasped.

"Good…You think Elliot and Dickie have any idea how to unpack a suitcase?" Both girls giggled.

"20 bucks says they just threw the suitcase in the closet and called it a day." They both laughed.

"The girls are adorable Liv. You have done a great job raising them."

"Thanks Lizzie, it's been hard." Olivia said sitting on the bed. Lizzie sat next to her.

Lizzie could feel herself breaking. She knew that Olivia had gone through hell, but it was different seeing it, rather then just having her Dad tell her. Seeing it was much worse. She tried to put herself in Olivia's shoes and it broke her little heart to know that someone like Olivia has been through so much pain.

"You have to know that Dad would have been here in a second, if he knew. I'm so sorry Olivia, I'm sorry my mom is fucking bitch."

Olivia's eyes widened, "Hey, hey, now--"

"I'm so sorry Olivia, I'm sorry he wasn't here." She lost it; she fell into Olivia's chest and bawled her eyes out. Olivia wrapped her arm around Lizzie and rubbed up and down, "He was so unhappy Liv, he was so depressed it was hard for him to get out of bed in the morning. He couldn't hold a job, he started drinking, he was a mess. And my mom, all she did was put him down, tell him what a horrible excuse for a man he was. He really loves you Olivia, you have to forgive him. He didn't know Liv, he didn't know." She sobbed hysterically into her chest.

"Lizzie, I forgave your father. I know he didn't know about the girls. And I know that he loves us very much. Don't worry about that." Olivia said as she rubbed Lizzie's back.

"Olivia?" Lizzie said and looked up into Olivia's eyes.

"Yeah sweetie?"

"I love you too."

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"The girls are normally chatter boxes. The Chemo must have really taken it out of them." Elliot told Dickie.

"They seem really sweet. Looks like Olivia did a wonderful job raising them."

Elliot smiled, "She did. She really did."

"Will you ever forgive Mom, Dad?" Dickie asked looking his father directly in the eyes.

Elliot took a deep breath and thought about it for a minute. Visions of Olivia being alone with two babies kept passing through his brain. Her giving birth, taking the girls out for walks, watching their first steps. Visions of the Doctor telling her that the girls had cancer; all these visions were she was alone, with out him.

"No Son. I don't think I will ever be able to forgive her."

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't think I'll be able to forgive her either."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

"Lizzie?" Dickie whispered as he knocked on her door, "Liz." He said a little louder.

"Hmmm?" Lizzie managed to muster out. She was just about to fall asleep.

"Can I come in?"

"Fine!" She rolled over and sat up, "What is it Dickie? I was almost asleep."

Dickie sat on the edge of her bed and bowed his head, "They look just like you." He said barely above a whisper.

Lizzie sighed, "Kinda scary huh?"

"Yeah."

"Their going to make it Dickie. They're part Benson, part Stabler. I mean that is as close to superhero as you can get." Liz said and let out a little laugh.

"I don't think Dad could take it if they didn't."

Lizzie let out a deep breathe, "When he was in the hospital and we weren't sure if he was going to make it, do you remember what you said to me?"

"That he was a fighter." Dickie said remembering that awful night.

"That's right, He's a fighter. And he will make it, and so will the girls."

"He put himself there Liz." Dickie said letting go of a secret he had held onto for years. There were very few secrets between him and his twin, and this was one that he never thought he would spill.

"I know, but that doesn't change the fact that he fought his way back to us."

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"Maureen!!!" Kathleen ran to her sister through the crowded airport.

"Katie!" Maureen screamed and hugged her sister tightly, "I missed you so much!"

"Me too Maur. Me too."

"How was the flight?"

"It was good. I'm just glad to be back here, back in New York. God I love this city!"

Maureen took a few bags from her sister, "I know!"

"So what is this big news Maur? Did you meet someone?" She nudged her sister, "A hottie? Hmmm…come on spill already!"

_Oh Boy, Katie…_

"Um…we'll talk about it when we get to my apartment."

"Oh This is serious huh?"

Maureen let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, "Yeah."

EOEOEOEOEOEO

"So Doctor Stabler, this is a cozy little place you have here." Kathleen said as she dropped her bags on the hard wood floor.

"Thanks Katie, I like it."

Kathleen walked around and investigated the unfamiliar territory. Maureen was wondering how the heck she was going to tell her sister about the girls. When she saw Katie walking towards the mantel, with a row of photos, she knew it was going to be sooner then she had planned.

"Oh my God!" Kathleen gasped and picked up the photo, "This is Olivia! She looks great! Oh. My. God…Liv has kids??" She looked at Maureen, but the elder sister didn't say anything. "Maur! Liv has kids?" She said again.

"Uh…yeah."

"They are freaking adorable! Look at their long brown hair, oh my God and those eyes! They are like little Olivia's….oh wow…does Daddy know?"

"Yeah Katie, Dad knows."

"Wow. Why do you have this photo here? Are you close with them or something?"

_Or something._

Olivia gave the photo of her and girls when Maureen found out about them. It was a beautiful photo, before the girls were sick. It was Liv and the girls at the park, laughing, healthy.

"Listen Katie--"

"Dad knows? Is he okay? I mean is he upset about it? Holy cow Maur--his poor heart must be breaking…is she married?"

"Well---"

"Oh my God Maureen, if Liv is married with children it will destroy Dad!" Kathleen said getting upset just thinking about how hurt her Dad was when he had to leave her.

"Katie, just let me finish would you!"

"Ok…sorry. Geez."

"The girls," Maureen said taking the photo from Kathleen's hand, "Ava, and Ella. Their Dad's Katie. They are our half sisters."

"What?! Shut up!"

"No, I'm not kidding."

"I can't believe this! Why didn't she tell Dad?"

"She did…well she tried to anyways…"

"What? I don't get it." Kathleen's brain was trying to process the fact that she just got two new sisters.

"She wrote him Katie, Olivia wrote Dad all the time to tell him about the girls."

"But if Dad knew…he wouldn't of…I mean…"

"Mom hid the letters. He never saw them. He never knew."

"Holy shit."

"Yeah."

Kathleen laid back on the couch and stretched her hands above her head, "What a bitch."

"Mother dearest." Maureen said while rolling her eyes.

"So how did you find out? How did Dad find out? So this is what gave Dad the strength to come back to New York." Kathleen was off on a tangent, and Maureen just busted out with it.

"Their sick…the girls Katie. They are really sick."

Kathleen turned to meet her sisters tear filled eyes, "Whhhhat?"

"Ava and Ella, they have leukemia. I was assigned to their case before I even knew who they were. When I found out I nearly fell over, I called Dad right away and told him to get his ass to New York ASAP."

"Holy shit…cancer? Our sisters? How…um…bad is it?"

"It's not good Katie."

"Oh my God. We have to go there Maur. We have to go right now."

"I know. We are going to bring over dinner. You know Lizzie and Dickie are staying with them right?"

"What?! No I didn't know! No one tells me anything! I swear you go away to college and you are forgotten about!"

"Dramatic! Relax. They came in last night, sort a whim. Everything has just been happening so fast."

"Well tell me everything. Don't leave anything out."

EOEOEOEOEOEOEEOEOEO

"There isn't anything else I can give them? Nothing is working Ana. They can't even walk anymore!" Olivia was on her cell pacing around the kitchen.

Ava and Ella had been in intense pain for awhile now, but the past few days it escalated. Every muscle in their body was aching. They couldn't even walk anymore.

"Ok. How long? Ok. Thank you so much Ana…I'm sorry to be such a pain---I know…but you know. Okay. Thanks again, I really appreciate it." She shut her phone and placed it on the counter.

She didn't notice Elliot standing there, "You ok?"

She ran her hand across her forehead, "Yeah, I just…they can't walk El. I don't like to see them in pain…or sick…I hate this. I just feel so powerless."

Elliot pulled Olivia into his body and rubbed her back, "I know, I know."

"It's just so frustrating!" She said into his chest. She took a deep breath, "Ana is going to call in a prescription, and it should be ready in an hour, so that hopefully will work."

Elliot kissed the top of her head. She looked up with her watery eyes, "I'm so glad you here El, I'm so glad you came back to me…I don't think could do this on my own."

He wiped the tears that spilled down her cheeks and placed his lips gently upon hers, "You're the love of my life Olivia. I couldn't live with out you, I wouldn't want too." He cupped her jaw with his strong hands and placed the deepest kiss on her lips.

_How does he do it? How does this man make feel like everything will be ok? How does he do it with one kiss?_

"Well I better get into the shower. Maureen and Kathleen will be here in about an hour."

"Oh! I'll call Maureen and have her pick up the prescription for us."

_For us._

"You're the best." She said placing his lips back on hers.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"Oh hey Lizzie." Olivia said as she came to the girls' room. Lizzie was pacing in front of it, "Everything alright?"

Lizzie blushed, "Uh, yeah. I just wanted to check on them."

Olivia smiled and placed her hand on her shoulder, "You can go in Lizzie, they don't bite."

"I know, I know. But I wasn't sure… I guess."

Olivia let out a little giggle and walked them into the darkened room. Olivia sat down on Ella's bed and motioned for Lizzie to do the same

"They look just like you with their bald heads." Liv laughed, "When they were born they could have past as you. No hair and gigantic blue eyes just like you and just like your father. Casey was the only one who knew who their father was…until they were born. There was no denying that they were Stabler children. Cragen knew Elliot was the father as soon as he saw them."

Olivia stroked Ella's bald head, "They have beautiful brown hair that curls at the end. When I had to tell them that they were going to lose it, they didn't even cry. I think I cried more then they did," She let out a half sob, half laugh, "They are wonderful Lizzie, and I'm so glad that you got to meet them."

"They are so lucky they have a mother like you Liv."

"Thanks Lizzie, that means a lot. Really." And it did. She had spent 9 months of second guessing herself, wondering if she was going to turn out like her own mother.

"So you think they are going to like having an older brother and sister living with them?"

"Oh my God Yes. I'm not kidding Liz, once they found out about you guys coming to stay with us, that is all they talked about. It just stinks that they had their chemo the other day. They should be ok by tomorrow. I know they are disappointed that they haven't gotten to spend time with you guys yet."

"Well we're hear to stay so--"

Olivia nodded. The Stabler's were here to stay.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

"Need any help in here?" Elliot asked as he opened the shower door a crack.

"Jesus Elliot! You almost gave me a heart attack!" She gasped clenching her hands to her heart, "And yes actually…" She said with a seductive smile.

Elliot climbed in the shower stall and enveloped his body with hers. He swept her hair off her back and placed kissed around her shoulders.

"I'm sorry El."

"About what?" He said trailing kisses along the length of her back.

"Last night, I fell asleep on you."

"Oh that?" He said with a sly smile, "Well I guess you will just have to make it up to me…it's a good thing I don't charge interest." He said spinning her so his lips could meet hers. His hands cupped her breasts and he pressed firmly rubbing her nipples with his thumb and forefinger, "You smell so good, Liv," He whispered into her ear.

"El, Maureen and Kathleen are going to be here soon…" She said but not doing anything to stop him.

He pressed her up against the tile and cupped her jaw with hands; he attacked her mouth wildly, and with lust and want. He felt like a drug addict getting his fix, "Oh my God, Liv." He said as he pressed his body up against hers, and his length was now teetering around her center.

"Don't Care." He answered as he sucked on her erect nipples.

Her mouth was hung open, panting, "Elliot." She was gasping for air. He smiled and lifted her up so that her legs were wrapped around his waist. Causing his back to be the one against the tile. He brought his hand down and around her bottom so that he hit her center. She gasped at the surprise of his hand sneaking its way around, "Fuck, El." She panted.

His erection was full force and needed to be contained within the walls of her body. He took a step forward causing her back to be against the tile again. He looked her in the eyes, "Ready?" He asked before attacking her mouth with his again.

Her hands didn't know where to go. They were all over his body rubbing and scratching, "Fuck…ready…now…" She said trying to catch her breath.

I one swift motion Elliot entered her core and she nearly came right there, "I missed this." He said kissing her softly and he thrust into her, "We have always had such great sex."

"Elliot," She said, she couldn't even breathe she was seeing stars, "We make great partners." She said as her fingernails dug into his back.

He looked her deep in the eyes, "You're so beautiful Olivia. I dreamt about you every night."

She stopped him from pushing into her, "I dreamt about you every night too El."

They held their stares, frozen in time. He rubbed his hand up and down the side of her face, "I love you more then I ever knew I was capable of Liv."

She smiled up at him and began to feel her orgasm build, "El?"

"Yeah I know, 'move'." He said with a shit eating grin on his face, and began to thrust inside of her again.

She let out a laugh, "Yeah…God I love you El."

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"Mommy?" Ava woke up in a cold sweat, "Momma?" She said a little louder. When she didn't get an answer she turned her head toward her sisters bed, she was sleeping. She hit the intercom button on her bed, "Mommy? You dare Mommy?...Daddy?"

EOEOEOEOEOEO

"Fuck Elliot, I'm so close." She said as her head banged against the tile with each pulverizing thrust that Elliot gave her.

"Me too Liv, me fucking to."

"Faster El…faster." She pleaded, "So close El…so fucking close." She panted.

"Anything you want Liv, anything you want." He said as he quickened up the pace.

Their orgasms ripped through their bodies like a bat out of hell. Their mouths covered their loud screams, as they both came together, hard.

"Fucking Christ Elliot that was amazing." She said as he put her legs back on the ground. She was still shaky, and her body had not yet come down from the high that Elliot gave her.

"Mommy? You dare Mommy?...Daddy?"

"Shit." Olivia mumbled and hit the intercom button, "Baby? Is everything ok? I'll be right there sweet heart." Olivia asked as she quickly got out of the shower and wrapped a robe around her body, handing one to Elliot for him to do the same.

They ran out of the bedroom and into the girls' room. They were still soaking wet not having the time to dry off.

"Ava? Baby are you ok?" Olivia said bending down over her daughter's bed and feeling her head to see if it was warm. Elliot was standing right behind her his eyes wide.

"Hungee Mommy."

Olivia turned her head to Elliot and smiled, "Are these not our kids or what?" Olivia said and smiled.

"Ok Baby, me and Daddy are going to get dressed and then we will come back and it will be dinner time, alright?"

"Okay Mommy." Ava said and sat up. Olivia put a pop up book on her lap so she could entertain herself while Elliot and she got dressed.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

When Olivia, Elliot and the girls held tight in each of their arms made their way down the stairs they were surprised to see the dinning room table set, and all the Stabler children sitting around it.

"Daddy! Olivia!" Kathleen yelped when she saw them. She quickly got up from her seat and ran over to hug them, Ella and Ava smushed in the process.

"Well hello there," Kathleen said to the girls, "Do you know who I am?"

Ella and Ava looked at each other, "Kat-een!" Ava said.

Kathleen's mouth dropped, she didn't think they would know, "Yeah! Kathleen, that's right."

Ella pointed to her, "Sister."

"That's right." Kathleen, "You guys are really smart."

Olivia smiled and put Ella in her booster seat, and Elliot did the same with Ava.

"Kathleen you look great. It's good to see you." Olivia said.

"Thanks Liv. It's good to see you too." Kathleen said and smiled up at Olivia.

"I'm just going to get the girls formula and then we can start!" Olivia said and disappeared to the kitchen.

"Oh my God. She's so skinny!" Kathleen whispered to Maureen.

"I know." Maureen whispered back, "We'll talk about it later."

"Why are the girls on formula Dad?" Dickie asked.

"It's a vitamin shake D." Dr. Maureen chimed in, "They need it to get all their vitamins and proteins, and minerals."

"Oh." Dickie said a little embarrassed.

Olivia walked into the room and placed the girl's sippy cups in front of them.

"Everything smells delicious girls." Olivia said as the aroma filled her senses, and she took a seat next to Elliot.

"Thanks Olivia." Maureen said.

"Payers Mommy?" Ava spoke up.

"That's right peaches." She said winking at her.

Elliot looked at her, never once when they were together before had Olivia shown any sort of interest in Religion, and now here they were saying prayers around the dinning room table. He couldn't help but feel a warm sensation run through his body. This felt right, it felt warm, and peaceful, and for a moment everything it world seemed okay. This was his family.

He grabbed Olivia's hand under the table and smiled at her.

"Ava you want to say them?" Olivia asked.

"Ok Mommy. Bwessdis our Lord in these our gifts, which we are bout to receive from the bunny of the Christ AAAAAAAAAAMEN!"

Everyone around the table burst out into laughter.

"That was the greatest thing I have ever heard." Lizzie said wiping the tears from her eyes.

Maureen smiled at Ava, "You did a wonderful job Ava."

"Dank you Ma-een!"

"Wet's eat!" Ella exclaimed.

**a/n: Although i LOVE reviews, even if i didn't get a single one, i wouldn't be able to stop writing this one!**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

After dinner they all sat around the dinning room table and caught up with each other. No one even noticed how late it was until Ella's head slumped over and she was fast asleep on the dinning room table.

"I think I better take her to bed." Liv said and started to get up.

"No, it's ok Liv. I'll do it." Elliot said getting up.

"Are you sure El?"

"Yeah, I want too." He said with a smile.

"Ok, then. Thanks." Olivia replied and sat down.

It was an extremely weird feeling to have help with the girls, especially things like their _father_, putting the girls to bed. And no matter how much she tried, she couldn't help but feel a slight twinge of jealously.

She almost wished that Ella had woken up and asked for Momma to put her to bed. Putting the girls to bed had become one of her favorite things to do. And she wasn't used to sharing---especially when it came to her girls.

_That is ridiculous Olivia. He's not going to replace you in the girl's hearts._

"Momma?" She heard and jumped back into reality.

"Yes peaches?"

"I don't feel so good…" Ava said, and Olivia shot right up from her chair, to pick her up. The last thing she wanted was Ava spilling her guts all over the dinner table.

She brought her to the nearest bathroom, just in time before Ava let go of her stomach contents.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Dickie walked by the bathroom that Olivia and Ava were in. He was trying to go upstairs and change into something more comfortable, when he heard them.

"I don't want to be sickies anymore Mommy, pwease make it stop," Ava cried against her mothers chest. Olivia was holding on to her so tight she thought she might brake her, "Mommy, I don't want to do this anymo---pwease Mommy---make me better." She sniffled out.

_What the heck do you say to that? I'm sorry baby there is nothing Mommy can do? MOMMY CAN'T FIX THIS ONE?!!!!!!!!!_

Large tears rolled off Olivia's cheeks and down the back of her baby girl, she was growing more frustrated each and every day. She didn't know how much longer she could take this.

Dickie quickly found his way to his room and lay down on the bed and cried until he couldn't cry anymore. When he got himself in check he went back downstairs to join his sisters at the table.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

When Olivia walked out of the bathroom with a sleeping Ava in her arms Kathleen thought she was going to cry, "Do you need any help?" Kathleen asked standing up.

Olivia smiled, "No we're ok. Thanks. I'm going to put her to bed, and then I'll be back down. K?" Olivia said in a low voice so she didn't wake up Ava.

"Ok." And Olivia disappeared.

Kathleen sat down, "Are you going to be able to handle this, guys? I mean, God…just it's awful."

"We're going to have to handle it." Dickie said, "Those are our sisters, and we have to do everything and anything possible to help them, and Liv and Dad."

"Wow Dickie, you have really grown up." Maureen said feeling very proud of her little brother.

"Thanks Maur---Hey Maur?"

"Yeah?"

"Will the girls need a bone marrow transplant? I mean cause we could all be donors right? I mean if we matched."

Maureen sighed, she was hoping that Ella and Ava wouldn't need one, but they way things were looking, they probably would, "Yeah Dickie, they might. But D---it's a painful procedure. The donor is---" She was cut off.

"I don't care how much pain it is Maur! If we can save them, we have too? Right guys?" Dickie said looking at his siblings for support.

"Absolutely." Kathleen and Lizzie said at the same time.

"That is very good to know, because I have a feeling that Olivia might not want to ask you guys, so you are going to have to go to her and tell her that you are willing to do it."

"Why wouldn't she ask us?" Lizzie asked.

"Well, it's complicated Liz…." Maureen began and started her speech she has done so many times to other patient's family.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"We should probably get back down there." Elliot whispered to Olivia. They were both laying down on opposites beds, each twin snuggled tightly in their arms, completely passed out.

"Yeah." She said and they both quietly got up with out making a sound.

"I think I want to change first, put something more comfortable on." She said as she walked into her bedroom.

"Can I help you?"

"Get dressed?" She asked him as if he was crazy.

He laughed, "Yeah let me." He said and he started to help her out of her clothes.

It was probably one of the sexiest things she had ever encountered. Elliot undressed her very slowly, making sure he touched every orifice possible. Touching ---yes. That is what she needed. She needed the warmth and comfort of his strong hands over her body, shielding her, protecting her, loving her.

As his hands guided her into her shirt he wanted to throw her on the bed and make sweet love to her. But now was not the time---for her, and he knew it. Right now all Liv needed was the comfort of his touch, so that was all he did.

His lips traveled around the back of her neck and she cocked it to the side so he could have more room, "You're shivering." He whispered into her ear.

"You send shivers down my spine." She said through a smile, and turned around to meet his lips with hers. She pressed him up against the wall and devoured every inch of him she could.

"Come-- let's go before we start something we can't finish." He said and led her out the doorway.

When they got downstairs the dishes were put away and all four children were sitting around playing cards.

"You care to join us?" Maureen asked.

"What you playing?" Liv asked as she and Elliot took a seat.

"Rummy." Lizzie said as she discarded.

"Great, count me in next game." She said with a smile.

"Me too." Elliot said. He looked to the right of table, "Wine?"

"I brought it." Kathleen said.

"Are you old enough?"

"Dad, Kathleen is 22." Maureen said giving her father a look of, 'ha!'

"Well the twins better not be drinking." He said as he poured him a Liv a glass.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

They spent a good amount of time playing cards. Olivia was in heaven, she felt like part of Elliot's family, again.

She smiles and remembers the time when they were dating pre-Denver and they would stay up and play cards all night. She then remembers how much has changed since then, the girls, the cancer, Denver, no one would have seen all of that happening back then, but even so she smiles because she knows, like she knew then that this is where she belongs, she can _feel _it.

"You Ok?" El says as he leans over and whispers in her ear, causing shivers down her spine once again.

She turns her head places a soft kiss on his lips and says, "Wonderful."

He places his hand on her thigh and rubs it gently. Not in 'I want you right here, right now' kind of way, but in an 'I'm here for you now and forever' sort of way. She leaned her shoulder into him and he placed his other arm around her.

She could swear sometimes that he could read her mind. Even when they were first partners, they have always had that connection. She would always think how strange it was that this man she hardly knew could know exactly how she was feeling, and know exactly what to do about it.

At first she just thought it was because they were cops. You know that's what partners do type thing. But no, how wrong she was, it had nothing to do with their partnership---no, it was them, it was the love that they shared---even when it was unspoken. They were soul mates no doubt about it.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Later that night when she laid in bed and waited for Elliot to return from the bedroom, she wondered how strange it was to feel so loved, and happy, and yet so terrible and destroyed at the same time.

All six Stabler children were tucked away safe and sound. Elliot made Maureen and Kathleen stay over since they were drinking. They didn't mind. It was like a big sleep over. They made popcorn and watched one of their favorite movies, until they passed out.

"Hey." He said in a whisper as he returned.

She rolled over to get a good look at him. God he was handsome, "Hey." She said with a smile.

"I can't tell you the last time all four of them have slept under one roof." He says as he climbs into bed and pulls her against his chest.

"I had a great time tonight." She says rubbing his forearms that are draped across her abdomen. "Elliot?" She says seriously.

"Yeah baby?"

"Tell me about Denver." She heard a small grown come from him followed by a deep sigh.

"What do you want to know?"

"I don't know. What it was like? What you did everyday? How much you missed me?" She couldn't resist that one.

"Horrible, nothing, more then you will ever know."

"Horrible, nothing---those are you answers to me?"

"You forgot more then you will ever know." He says kidding around. He turns around so that they are lying face to face. He grabbed her hands and pulled them up so that they rested in the middle of their bodies, "I hated it Liv. I became severely depressed, wallowed in my self pity. I couldn't work--"

"Wait, what? What do you mean you couldn't work?" She interrupted.

Elliot groaned, "I don't really want to get into this tonight Liv."

"Get into what? Elliot what happened? I have no idea what was going on with you for the past 3 years? I want to know Elliot, tell me." She said sternly.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"This house is freaking GI-Normous!" Kathleen said as she walked out of the bathroom and jumped into one of the beds.

"I know! And you haven't even seen all of it! Dickie and Lizzie are going to love it." Maureen said as she brushed her hair in front of the vanity.

"It's so unfair. They have like their own apartment!"

"Yeah and their OWN bathroom." Maureen added.

"There are enough bathrooms in this house that everyone could have two!" Kathleen said as she snuggled under the covers, "It's kind of weird, huh?" She said looking over at her older sister who was getting into the bed opposite hers.

"Yeah, but a good weird. Olivia has welcomed us into her home unconditionally. I mean she's such a kind soul, she doesn't deserve this." Maureen said as tried to get her pillows in the perfect position.

"No one does, Reen. No one."

"They're cute, aren't they?" Maureen asked looking over at her sister.

"A-freaking-dorable. 'The bunny of the Christ'--that was priceless." Katie said starting to laugh about it all over again.

"Daddy seems so happy doesn't he? I mean---you know, besides---"

"No--yeah, I know what you mean Maur. The sparkle in his eye is back."

"That sparkle is Liv. We've always known that."

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"I got into a car accident--" He said as they lay staring into each others eyes.

"What?!"

"Shhh," He said placing a finger to her lips, "I got into a car accident when I was in Denver---pretty severe. I was in a coma for a week---and you know what she did?"

"Who, Kathy?"

He nods his head, 'yes', "They brought me to her hospital---she didn't claim me. Let me be entered as a John Doe."

"What? Are you kidding me? Why would she do that?"

"She said it was for me. That she did it for me. To protect me, protect my job."

"That doesn't make any sense Elliot. Why would she do that?"

He pulled her closer to his body and muttered something inaudible.

"What?"

He said it again, she had to strain her voice to hear him, and when she heard him she thought it had to be mistake. Clearly he couldn't have said when she thought he said. No, not Elliot Stabler.

_It wasn't an accident._

"I regretted it as soon as I ---but it was too late, my car had taken off and I lost complete control."

She pulled his body as close to hers as she could. She rubbed her hands anywhere she could. She used her hands to console him, much like he did earlier for her.

"It was like being in a dream. Before I woke up, I felt this ---I don't even know what to call it---this strong voice…spirit I'm not sure what it was, but it kept telling me to fight---that everything was going to be ok, and that I had to wake up immediately because something wonderful was happening, and I had to be there. I remember forcing my eyes to open, fighting tooth and nail to wake up."

"El---I can't I mean---wow." Was all she could say.

"April 13, 2004." He whispered.

"What? Why'd you say that?"

"That's the day I woke up." He said kissing her forehead.

Her eyes grew wide, and her heart began to race, "Elliot. That's the day the girls were born."

**a/n: This chapter was supposed to be longer---but it would haven taken me another week or so to get it the way i wanted it--so i decided to make it 2 chapters instead of one... I didn't want to keep you guys waiting any longer...hey --i guess begging really does work!** lol! Love you guys!! Thanks for reading!


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16--1 month later

_The last treatment. God it seems like forever ago when my world got turned upside down, I can't believe it has only been a few months. _

"Liv?"

She finished brushing her hair and stood up looking at her figure. She had definitely put on some weight in the past few weeks. She was still thin, but at least she wasn't skin and bone. She looked good, and although she wouldn't get on a scale she was pretty sure she had to be at least 110lbs. She was getting better; she just wished her girls would too.

"Liv?" Elliot called again for her. She could hear his footsteps getting closer their bedroom, "Hey beautiful are you almost ready? The girls are ready, and Maureen is already there." He said as he enveloped her body with his.

"Yeah, I'm ready." She said with a small smile.

_Please let this be their last treatment._

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia, Elliot, Maureen and Ana sat around a big board room table with a few other Doctors. Elliot held Olivia's hand tight as they discussed their options about the girl's health.

"We could try another round of Chemo." One Doctor said.

"I just don't think that is the best option. I think we need to seriously look into bone marrow transplants." Another Doctor suggested.

"And there is a good chance that one of the siblings could donate. There is a 35 percent chance that a patient will have a sibling whose bone marrow is a perfect match. What do you think about that Mr. and Mrs. Stabler?"

Olivia and Elliot smiled at each other, but didn't correct the Doctor, "I just want what is best for my girls. If you think this is our best option then we should do it. But I don't think I could ask ---"

Already knowing what Olivia was going to say Maureen jumped in, "Olivia--we will do it, and won't think twice about it. Anything to save the girls Liv. We have already discussed it, and we'll do it." Maureen said as she looked Olivia directly in the eye as she said every word.

Olivia felt her eyes swell up. God Bless those children.

"Well then let's get them in here pronto. I'll start up the paper work." Ana said and left the room.

"If---if we find a match---does that ensure that the girls will get better?" Olivia asked afraid of the answer.

"While bone marrow transplants do not provide 100 percent assurance that the disease will not recur, a transplant can increase the likelihood of a cure or at least prolong the period of disease-free survival for many patients." The main Doctor explained to them.

"And the procedure---it's not life threatening?" Olivia asked.

"No---no. It's a simple procedure. The patient is put under anesthesia; a needle is inserted into the cavity of the rear hip bone or "iliac crest" where a large quantity of bone marrow is located. The bone marrow is a thick, red liquid that is extracted with a needle and syringe. Several skin punctures on each hip and multiple bone punctures are usually required to extract the requisite amount of bone marrow. There are no surgical incisions or stitches involved - only skin punctures where the needle was inserted."

Olivia sighed a breath of relief, "So it's like a minor surgery?"

"Correct."

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"Maureen? Hey sweetheart. Is everything ok?" Olivia was just finishing some dishes when Maureen walked into the house.

"I hope you don't mind me stopping by like this…unannounced and all."

"Reen--you can't be serious. You have keys for God's sake! You are welcome here anytime." She threw a kitchen towel on the counter, "You look like you need to talk. Come on, we can sit at the dinning room table. I'll put some tea on."

"Thanks Liv. You're the greatest. Where is everyone?"

"Dickie and Lizzie are at school, Kathleen went shopping, and the girls and your father are upstairs taking a nap. So what is it? Boy trouble?" Olivia asked as she sat down at the table.

Maureen shook her head and blushed a little, "No. It's not really a problem--I just---how do you feel about Kathleen leaving school?"

Olivia sighed, "Well---I think it was a really important decision. Leaving college in your last year is definitely something I would not encourage. I feel bad that she has to leave all her friends---I mean college was the best experience of my life, and my senior year? Holy crap I wouldn't trade that for anything. On the other hand, I understand why she is doing it, and it's not like she is dropping out, she's transferring."

"Yeah, that's true. But how do you feel about her living with you guys? I mean won't it get a little crowded?" Maureen asked and immediately felt like such an ass.

"Hmm…well we have more then enough room Reen, unless she is bringing her entire senior class---I think we will have plenty of room---What is this all about anyway Reen?"

"Well---I was wondering, because you see, I'm barley at my apartment anyways---I'm always at the hospital or here---and---um…" Maureen's face suddenly became bright red, and about 150 degrees.

"Reen? Are you asking if you can move in here too?" Olivia asked in complete surprise that Maureen actually would want to move in.

"Well it's just---" She sighed, "Yeah, Liv I am. It's just that everyone is here, and I feel like I don't get to see the girls enough, and if I move in---I can help you out with them--and"

"Reen, I think the girls would love it!" She stood up and gave Reen a huge hug, "I'm going to love it, and I know your father is going to love it too! Ohh! You can stay on third floor! It's pretty big--has a separate entrance and exit---" She said giving Maureen a wink.

"So you won't mind? Really? I mean I don't have--"

"Mind? Are you kidding? I'm so excited! So when can you move in? Today??"

Maureen laughed, "I'll talk to my landlord and let you know. Thanks again Liv." She looked at her watch, "Shit! I'm late. Um---tell Dad for me?"

"Sure will. Bye sweetie!"

EOEOEOEO

"Hey Maureen." Ana said as she entered her office.

"Hey, what's up? Are you ready?" Ana asked as she got up from her desk and walked over towards Maureen.

"Yup." Maureen said as she placed her bag on the chair.

Ana told Maureen she could get tested before her shift started. She was very nervous to say the least. She had said at least a thousand prayers to let her be a match. It took about 5 to 7 days for the results, but Ana worked her magic and said she would have them in 3.Although 3 days still seemed like lifetime.

Olivia, Elliot and the rest of the Stabler children were tested the day before. Maureen was supposed to too, but got wrapped up with a patient.

"I really appreciate you doing this for me Ana."

"Maur---stop. There is nothing I wouldn't do for those girls. I got tested too."

Maureen felt her heart melt. She and Ana had started to become good friends over the past couple of months. Ana would often tag-a-long with Maureen when she visited the girls at home.

Maureen had never had a friend like Ana. She was so brilliant, and such a good, fun-loving spirit. She loved being around her and couldn't wait to see her each day.

_Hmmmm._

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia walked into her bedroom and to her favorite site. Elliot sleeping with Ava and Ella around him. She quickly grabbed her camera and took a few snap shots.

She very carefully climbed into the bed next to Ava.

"Dat you Mommy?" She heard her say as she snaked her hands around her small body.

"Yeah baby it's me. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine now dat you here Mommy." Olivia smiled and snuggled her girl, "I go back sweepies." Ava said through a yawn.

"I go sweepies too." Olivia said and closed her eyes.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

She wasn't sure how long she had fallen asleep for, but when she woke up she found herself alone.

"Ella? Ava? El?" She called out.

She heard footsteps outside her door, "Hey Liv. Have a good nap?" Lizzie said as she stood in the doorway.

"Great nap. Come on in sweetheart." Olivia said and patted for Lizzie to come sit on the bed.

"How was school today?" She asked and Lizzie lay beside her and Olivia wrapped her arms protectively around her.

Lizzie smiled as she felt the warmth of Olivia's arms around her. She had fallen in love with Olivia as if she was her own mother. She loved that Olivia was so cuddly with her. Kathy had never so much as given Liz a hug, let alone held her protectively in a mothers embrace.

"School was good. I think I might try out for the school play."

"Really? That's great Liz. How'd you do on your History test?"

"Good I think. It wasn't that hard."

"That's cause you studied hard for it."

"Yeah. Thanks for helping me by the way."

"No problem." Olivia said and placed a kiss on the back of her head.

"I was sent up here to let you know that dinner is almost ready."

"Mmm…great. I'm starving." Olivia said with a laugh and patted her stomach.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"Both sleeping safe and sound." Olivia said as she walked into the living room.

"Beautiful." Elliot said and pulled Olivia down onto his lap. He kissed the back of her neck and inhaled her exotic scent, "What time did the twins say they would be home?" Elliot asked as he swooped the hair from behind her neck to give him more access.

"Midnight--no later." Olivia said as she moved her neck to the side, and let out a small breath. It was amazing what Elliot could do to her body.

"And Kathleen is staying at Maureen's tonight--she's going to help her pack up and stuff." Elliot whispered as his firm hands rubbed her shoulders and down to her arms.

"So, I would say we had a couple of hours to our selves." Olivia said with a smirk.

"I guess we could say that." Elliot said stopping his kissing to turn her around so that she was comfortably straddling him, "Much better," he said, "I love this beautiful face." He said and planted a few short kisses on her bottom lip.

"So Detective Stabler, what do you suppose we do?" She asked.

"Well, I'm sure there is laundry to do." He said as his hands roamed Olivia's back.

"Why that there is." She said trying hard to slow her body down.

"And I'm sure the dishes won't wash themselves." He said as he found the hem of her shirt and worked his hands underneath it.

"No they won't." Olivia pretty much gasped as she felt Elliot's hands run up the back of her shirt and over toward her breasts to where he massaged lightly. His lips were attached to the side of her neck, and it was sending shivers down her spine.

"And I'm sure there is some paper work that we should go over about the girls---" He said.

"Yup." Olivia said again and moved her hips closer to his. And then she felt it, yup---there it was. His rock hard erection throbbing in those jeans of his, "But all of those things are going to wait…" She said as she grabbed his tie and pulled him up. She let go and ran up the stairs with him closely behind.

When they reached the bedroom he swooped Olivia up into his arms and they both fell back on the bed and laughed and laughed. When they could finally breathe, he cupped her jaw and pressed his lips firmly on hers.

Elliot slowly pealed off every layer of clothing Olivia had on, making sure he took his time to kiss every single inch of her skin. By the time he got to her soaking wet panties she was ready to come already.

"Jesus Liv, so wet." He whimpered as his disappeared between her thighs.

"Fucking shit." Olivia gasped as she clutched tight to the sheets on the bed. His tongue on her core was too much; she was way too far to play these games. She pulled Elliot's head up, "I need you."

"I'm right here."

She giggled, "No, I need you…in me, and now." Olivia said bucking her hips to allow him to enter her quickly.

"Oooh." Elliot said with a laugh, "You ready for me already, baby?"

"Not funny…now El." She said starting to wine.

"Oh Liv, you know I love to see you beg." He said as he dangled his length at her center but not entering.

"Are you kidding me El…pllllllease!" She said an octave louder then her normal pitch.

"You want me bad, don't you Liv?" Elliot asked as he trailed kiss around her inner thigh.

"Yes, God yes." She begged.

"You really want me huh?"

"El---either stick it to me, or I'm going to go into my top drawer and take care of business myself, if you know what I'm talking about."

Elliot laughed and pounded into her, sending Olivia into her glory.

"I knew that would work." She said as he thrust into her harder and harder.

"Jesus Christ Liv." He panted as he slid in and out of her.

She arched her back up off of the bed and closed her eyes tight as each push pulsated through her body like shock waves, "Oh my God, El. Not going to last."

"That's fine baby, let go…come for me."

"No, too soon." She panted, and Elliot slowed his pace down.

"That better?"

"Mmm Hmm…thanks---Oh! Oh Fuck---Jesus Elliot!" Just when she thought she was safe Elliot pounded into her body harder and faster.

"Just wanted to keep you on your toes." Elliot said as he felt her insides clamp up around him, "Oh my God…Liv…shit…"

"Don't stop El…don't fucking ever stop." She panted as both their orgasms began to boil in the bottom of their stomachs.

"Never." He said as he kissed her hard on the mouth. He cupped her breasts and pressed firmly on them, rubbing her nipple with fingers.

"El!" She panted as Elliot continued to thrust into her harder then ever.

"Do close Liv…so close."

"Please El…just give it to me!" She screamed as her legs began to shake and her hips bucked. She closed her eyes tight and she saw stars.

"Open them Liv…" He said kissing her eye lids, and she fluttered them open, "I want to see you when you come."

"Well start watching." She panted and she let go to everything she had been holding on too.

"Fuck." Elliot breathed heavily and released himself as well.

"That was fucking amazing, Elliot." She said as she rubbed Elliot's back. He collapsed on top of her and was trying to catch his breath.

"It's always fucking amazing with you Liv."

"I knew there was a reason I loved you." She said through a smile.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Elliot got out of bed and headed towards Olivia's dresser.

"Hey, hey, where are you going?" Olivia asked as she felt the coldness hit her naked body, "If you're looking for my 'magic bullet' you are looking in the wrong drawer." She teased.

"Ha ha…no I wanted to look at the girl's baby book with you." He said as he grabbed it and brought it back into bed with them.

"Oh…so sweet." She said and they spread the book over their thighs.

They looked at every picture of the girls, and Olivia told him every story that went along with the photograph. He had heard them so much lately that it was almost as if he was there and he could remember them like real memories.

When she flipped the next page she let out a soft moan, "Oh my God Elliot!"

He smiled at her and kissed her cheek. Elliot had added a photo to the album. It was taken just a few days ago by Maureen. It was Olivia and Elliot sitting on the couch and the girls were sitting on their laps.

"There's more." Elliot said and watched as Olivia flipped to the last page.

"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD ELLIOT!" She gasped and tears instantly sprang from her eyes.

On the very last page tied on a ribbon was the most beautiful engagement ring she had ever seen.

Elliot smiled and untied the ring from the ribbon, he got out of the bed and went down on one knee, "Olivia Benson, will you marry me?"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" She screamed and pulled him into her naked chest.

"So is that a yes?" He asked as he broke free from her strong embrace.

"YES! YES! YES! A THOUSAND TIMES YES!" She yelped. She held out her hand and waited for Elliot to slide her ring on her finger.

"It's a perfect fit!" She exclaimed as she examined the princess cut diamond on a white gold band.

Elliot made a mental note to thank Maureen for telling him to resize the ring.

Olivia jumped onto Elliot's body and attacked his mouth with hers, "I love you Elliot. I love you so much!" She said as she kissed every inch of his body she could get her hands on.

"I love you too Mrs. Stabler." He said as he picked her and her long legs wrapped around his lower back. He smoothly laid her back down on to the bed, and they made love until they both fell asleep, completely exhausted and tangled together so that one would not know where one began and the other ended.


	17. Chapter 17

**a/n: Hey guys, I ask that you keep an open mind with this one…**

Chapter 17

"Fuck." This can't be right. Ana stared at the test results. Put them up against the light, held up the other sample, closed her eyes tight and when she reopened them, she prayed to God that what she had just seen was a mistake.

"Double Fuck." She said aloud.

"Problem?"

_Shit._

She dropped both films to floor and bent down quickly to retrieve them. When she popped back up she gasped at Maureen who was about 5 centimeters from her face.

"Huh?" She couldn't think with Maureen so close to her.

Maureen smiled, "The problem. You were swearing up a storm when I walked in. In fact I could hear you half way down the hall." She said tilting her head to the side, with a small smile. "So come on, spill. What is it?"

Ana exhaled, "It's nothing. No problem." She said with a sad excuse for a smile.

"Ana, tell me. What is it? Oh God. Is it Ella and Ava? Are they--?"

"No, no…it's not them." Ana said quickly, and quietly.

"Oh, well then what it is it?" She asked trying to take a look at the films that Ana had in her hands.

Stabler, Maureen.

Maureen looked at Ana for second and then grabbed the film from her hands, "What is this? Am I a match?" She said as she held the film up to the light, next to Ella and Ava's that were already up.

It took her a minute to figure it out what the problem was.

"No, no, no no!" She looked up at Ana, her eyes already swelled, and looking to pour out tears, "It can't be. It's impossible." She looked again at the films, "No!!!!!!!!!!"

She fell against the wall and lowered herself down in disbelief. She pulled her knees up to her chest, "And you're sure it's not a mistake?" Maureen asked already knowing the answer.

"I ran them three times," Ana said and sat down next to Maureen, "I'm sorry honey." She said and Maureen laid her head on her shoulder and cried.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

It had a been long day for the Stabler clan. They had been at the hospital for the past 10 hours waiting. Ella and Ava were getting tests done to see if there little bodies were even healthy enough to have the bone marrow surgery, should they find a donor.

Elliot walked seven blocks to Olivia's favorite take-out place. He didn't mind, not at all. If it would mean that Liv could have a little bit of happiness he would walk 10,000 miles. Plus he needed some fresh air, needed to clear his head a little.

When he walked into the restaurant and headed towards the bar. He saw a man sloped over the counter drowning his sorrows over a few pints. Boy could Elliot relate to that. He felt bad for the poor guy.

The bar tender snapped Elliot out of his trance, "Can I help you?" He asked, wiping his hands on his apron.

"Ah, yeah. Pick up for Stabler." He said, and the bar tender nodded and headed to the kitchen.

The man slouched at the bar perked his head up when Elliot said, 'Stabler'.

Elliot looked at him for a minute before realizing who it was. He sighed and sat down next to him, "Michael." He simply said.

Michael turned his head, "Elliot." His eyes were beat red. Elliot wasn't sure if it was because he was drunk or because he was crying, "How are they? The girls?" He asked almost pleading.

"There doing alright. It's hard, but we are looking into bone marrow donors. We actually have been at the hospital all day--"

"Are they ok?" He asked nervously.

"We hope so. They are getting tested to see if they are healthy enough to even have the transplant, if we get a donor. We are hoping that one of my children will be a match. Siblings have a 37 percent chance of being a match; multiply that by my four kids, looks like we have a good shot. Things are looking up." Elliot said remaining positive.

Michael smiled, "That's wonderful. I miss them." Michael said lowering his head, "I really miss them. I ---I was going to ask Olivia to marry me. I didn't because…well because of you I guess. I knew she wasn't in love with me. I know that she tried though," He took a sip of his beer as if he needed the courage to get the last part out, "but when it came down to it there was no more room in her heart---" He wasn't looking at Elliot, but staring into his glass. Elliot could swear he saw a few tears fall from Michael's face, "She's loved you the whole time."

"Look Michael--"

"No, you look." Michael said raising his voice, but immediately realized his anger and held up his hands in apology, "I just love them. That's all. You have great girls Elliot. Treat them right…and if you ever hurt them, any one of them, I'll fucking kill you." He said and walked out of the bar leaving Elliot stunned.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"Ana?" Maureen asked as they sat on Ana's couch drinking wine.

"Hmm?"

"Do you think he knows? My Dad I mean." She took a sip from her glass and ran her hands through her long blonde hair.

Ana's mouth hung open for a minute as Maureen played with hair. "Uh…I don't know Maur."

"Ana?"

"Yeah."

"Can I stay here tonight…with you…uh I just couldn't go home right now. I just need some time to think this out before I see--"

"Maur. Relax. Of course you can stay here." Ana said as she wrapped her arm around her friends shoulder, "We can have a Greys-A-Thon."

Maureen shook her head, "Sounds good. Thanks Ana, I appreciate it," She said as she slowly lifted her head up from Ana's shoulder, only to feel Ana's hand upon it and gently pushing her back on her shoulder.

"Is this okay?" Ana asked softly.

"Uh...yEah." Maureen said, her voice cracking like 14 year old boy.

_What the hell is going on with me? Why is she doing this to me? How does she do this to me? I like boys God damn it! I dated the quarterback of the football team! Then why…why is it every time I see her I get butterflies in my stomach, and my throat closes up, and I can't breathe? Why damnit, why? _

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"I WANT MY MOMMY!" Olivia heard Ella scream. Elliot and her were filling out paperwork at the nurses station when they heard the loudest shriek come from there girls room. She new immediately that it was Ella.

She ran as fast as her legs would carry her and ran up to the bed, "Baby, what is it?" She said as she pulled Ella into a hug, and then checked her to make sure she was all in one piece.

"No more shots, mommy. Please no more! My arm hurt Mommy, too much." Ella cried out against Olivia's shoulder. She looked over at Elliot who still looked like someone shook the life out of him. He must have been so scared, Olivia thought.

"It's okay, sweetheart." Olivia said as she rubbed Ella's back. She motioned for the nurse to leave the room. "El." She whispered, and he walked over towards her, "Take her." She switched places with Elliot and walked outside to talk to the nurse.

Olivia was in the middle of convincing the nurse to come back later to give the girls their shots, when she heard Ella cry again, "I want my Mommy." It wasn't as frantic as the last one, but made Olivia run back into the room just the same.

"Mommy!" Ella's eyes widened when she saw her mother, "I sorry Daddy, but I want my mommy." Ella said as she reached for her mothers embrace.

Elliot, God he was such a good father, simply said, "I would want your mommy too. Don't worry about it Pumpkin." He ran his hands over her bald head and she smiled at him and her mother's arm wrapped protectively around her.

"Don't worry sweetie, they aren't going to give you anymore shots tonight." She said as she looked over at Elliot.

EOEOEOEOEO

Three hours later Olivia finally collapsed onto her bed, Elliot right behind her. He turned over and lay on his stomach, "That nurse had no idea what she was doing. You can always tell the newbies." Elliot said as he placed kissed on Olivia's neck.

"I know, I felt bad getting another nurse to give Ella her shot, but with that other nurse doing it, Ella was bound to wake up. And the last thing I needed was her waking up, and knowing her Mommy lied to her."

"Do you feel guilty?" Elliot asked.

"What? About lying to Ella? Nope. It was for her own good…why? Should I? I mean am I terrible Mother for lying to her?"

Elliot laughed, "Relax Liv, I was just kidding around." He kissed her on the forehead, and let his hands roam all over her body, "You know you're a great Mother Liv. Don't ever doubt that." He shot up from the bed and headed towards the master bath.

"What? You can't just touch me like that then and leave Stabler!" She called out after him.

She heard him laugh and the bath water start to run. She got up to see what he was doing.

"What is all this?" She asked when she saw him lighting candles and pouring bath salt into the oversized tub.

"This my lovely, is for you," He threw her a smile that made her blush. He walked over towards her and starting stripping her clothes.

"For me or for you?" She asked teasingly. He rubbed his hand in his face and chuckled.

"For both of us." He said and they both looked at each other and smiled.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

It was dark outside when Dickie arrived home. He had soccer practice and then went out to eat with some of the boys. It had been an extremely long day, the hospital, school, the hospital again, practice. He was tired as shit and just wanted to go to bed.

"Dad? Liv? Anybody home?" Dickie called out as he set his backpack on the kitchen table. His Dad was going to be so pissed at him for hitting someone, but fuck that stupid asshole James; he was talking shit about Lizzie. He pulled out the letter that Elliot needed to sign, and walked up the back stairs that lead to his and Lizzie's bedrooms.

"Liz?" Dickie called out as he got closer to her door. When she didn't answer he opened the door.

"Liz!" He said louder this time, only to find her sleeping form cuddled in the fetal position.

_Damnit! _

He walked down the long hallway that leads to Elliot and Olivia's room as well as the girls, "Dad! Liv!" He called out louder.

Still no answer. Their bedroom door was cracked opened. He peeked inside.

_Hmph. Are they not here?_

And then he heard it, a grunt, and a moan, followed by a "Jesus Christ Elliot!"

_What the fuck? Oh my god! No fucking way!_

"Fuck! Please don't stop, please don't ever stop." He heard her moan, "Uh! Ahhh! Ohhh!"

_Oh my god! That voice it sounds so damn…sexy! But, EW! Gross Dickie! That's your Dad's girl for heavens sake!_

Dickie bolted out of there like no tomorrow. He ran as fast as his legs would carry him. When he reached his room, he flew onto his bed and tried to catch his breathe.

He changed into his pajamas, laid back down and pulled the covers up.

And that is when he heard it again, "Uh! Ahhh! Ohhh!" Only this time it wasn't coming from Olivia, it was coming from the back of his head. He couldn't get her voice out, over and over it repeated.

_Don't touch it! Don't touch it! Gross Dickie! Fucking gross!_

But the more he told himself 'no' the stronger his arousal got, and the louder Liv's voice got in the back of his mind. Until finally he was hurting so bad he had to touch it.

_God damnit Dickie! You pervert! Jacking off to your Dad's girlfriend is fucking sick!_

But he couldn't stop, and the harder he tugged the more he thought of Olivia, in every way that he shouldn't.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Maureen woke up in the middle of the night, with a pounding head ache.

_How much did I drink last night? Oh yeah. A. Lot!_

Her memory was a bit fuzzy, but the truth about her Dad remained in tack. She instantly felt miserable, hopeless, and lost. And then she felt a pair of arms squeeze her frame tightly.

_Oh fuck! Now that I did forget about…sort of._

"You alright Maur?" She heard Ana whisper and she felt the vibration of her voice on her neck.

Maureen took a deep breathe, "He's going to hate me Ana." She said softly.

"You're over reacting Maur! Your Dad loves you, and will continue to love you no matter what."

"My whole life has been a lie, and so has his I guess. Jesus!" She said throwing her hands up in the air.

"Maur--it will be fine. Elliot is not going to disown you."

"Sha! Are you kidding? How the hell am I going to tell him?" She said starting to panic.

"You just will. I promise you are making it out to be worse then it is." She said rubbing Maureen's shoulder, "Go back to bed, we'll talk about this in the morning." Ana said.

"Easy for you to say. You are not going to be the black sheep of your family." Maureen said and turned to face Ana.

"He's going to love you no matter, what, and who you are Maur---he always has and he always will." She placed a soft kiss on Maureen's lips and went back to sleep.

Maureen didn't sleep anymore that night. Instead her brain went over it a million times, and still couldn't get it right. How the hell was she going tell her _father_, that number one--she was gay (or at least bisexual) and number two---she wasn't biologically his?


	18. Chapter 18

**a/n: Sorry this took me so long to post. I was going to post it a few days ago, but i thought up the flashback scene, and wanted to add it in to this chapter...so i hope it was worth the wait!**

Chapter 18

This was going to change everything.

"Hey Maur. The girls just went down, leaving us alone for the next hour or so. What's up sweetheart? Is something wrong?" Olivia asked when she saw Maureen's expression.

She had never seen Maureen look so---hmmm what was the right word, disheveled?

"Where is everyone else?" She couldn't bear to say, 'Dad' with out breaking into tears.

"Well Dickie and Lizzie are at soccer practice, and your father just went to the pharmacy to refill the girl's prescriptions." She said with a smile on her face.

"I'm not a match for the girls." Maureen blurted out, close to tears.

"Oh honey. Is that why you are so upset?" Olivia said moving her chair closer to Maureen, draping her arm around Maur's shoulder.

Maureen choked back a few sobs, "That's not it." She said grabbing on to Olivia's shirt.

"What is it honey? You can tell me." Olivia said trying to calm Maureen down. She had no idea could of happened to make her act this way.

"Daddy…" She sobbed; "I'm not---" She lifted her head up from Olivia's shoulder and looked her into her chocolate brown eyes, "I'm not his." She got out, and her head fell back into Olivia's shoulder.

_Oh God she found out…_

"My mother lied to him, Liv. For all of these years she lied. Their whole marriage was based on a lie. He's going to hate me!" She wailed onto Olivia's shoulder.

"Maur---Your father is not going to hate you. He would never be able to hate you. He loves you Reen. He knows that you were just the innocent victim in this. Please honey, look at me." Olivia forced Maureen's head up, "He loves you Maur. And this is not going to change anything alright?"

"How can you be so sure?" She asked as her lips quivered.

"Because I know. Trust me Maur. When your father gets home talk to him." She said placing a chaste kiss on Maureen's forehead.

"You really think so Liv?" She asked her watery eyes looking up at Olivia for support.

"I know so sweetie. Come on I'll make you my sundae special! Ice cream is the cure for all." She said and they went into the kitchen.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"Honey?" Elliot called through the foyer.

"In here, sweetie." Olivia called back from the kitchen.

He walked into the kitchen and his face lit up when he saw her standing there doing the dishes. God he loved her. She was the sexiest thing he had ever seen, and she was his. All his.

"What?" She said knowing that he had that look on his face.

"Nothing." He said shaking his head, but not taking the look off of his face, "You're beautiful. That's all." He said standing behind her and wrapping his hands around her waist.

"You're not so bad looking yourself." She said smiling. His flaming lips brushed against the back of her neck sending warmth that only Elliot could bring. She turned around and kissed him softly on the lips, "We have to talk." She said seriously.

"Oh…I like it when you get all serious on me." He said and kept his lips on her neck. Only this time he brought his hands into the mix, and tried to sneak one down her pants.

"El, no. Seriously." She said this time more forceful, and brushed his hand away. When she did that Elliot knew that she meant business.

"Is it about the girls?" He asked as horrible thoughts ran through his head.

"No... Maureen." She said with a sigh, "She found out." She said looking him in the eyes.

"Shit." He said pulling Olivia closer to him, "The tests?" He asked.

"Yeah." Olivia said.

"Damn. I thought the results were just match, no match?"

"They are, but she happened to walk in on Ana when she was going over the results." Olivia said as her hands rubbed up and down Elliot's side.

"Is she devastated?"

"Pretty much. This is why I made reservations at the Italian Restaurant by the Hospital. I called Ana, and she said she could let Maureen out for an hour or two. She was going to talk to you when you got home but she got called in." Olivia explained as she looked at her watch, "So you have one hour before you go."

He placed a long kiss on her temple, "This is why I love you so much."

"Oh and before I forget, this came for you today." She said reaching over on the table and handing him the mail.

Elliot quickly opened it up, "Well I will be damned. Child support from Kathy….and my disability check." He said as he looked at the envelopes.

"Disability?" She asked him with a raise of her eyebrow.

"Bum knee." He said pointing to his left knee, "The accident." he says in an almost shameful manner.

"Oh Baby, I'm sorry. I didn't know." She said pulling him close to her and hugging him tightly.

"That's because I'm fine. Those stupid Doctors in Colorado don't have a clue." He said placing his lips on her forehead. He then handed her the check.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Signing over my check to you." He said with a wink.

Olivia's eyes grew wide, "You're fucking kidding right?"

"Huh? No I'm not kidding." He asked as he tried to read Olivia's mind.

"Elliot I'm not taking your money and I'm pissed that you are even offering it!" She said placing her hands on her hips and smacking her lips together.

"Olivia, you are supporting my---"

"Stop it right there Elliot. This is my family too, and besides I have more money then I know what to do with. It's not even a concern. So please just. Don't."

"So that's it? I'm not going to let you support us Olivia. They are my responsibility, not yours." He said in louder voice.

He didn't even realize what he said, he certainly didn't mean for it to sound the way it did.

"I can't believe you just said that." Olivia said in a soft voice. She met his eyes for a moment, and then walked away.

"Shit." Elliot mumbled. He rubbed the back of his neck and groaned debating on if he should go chase her or not.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Elliot knocked lightly on the door and walked in. "Liv?"

"Yeah."

She was lying on her back her eyes focused on the ceiling. She had never looked so beautiful, Elliot thought.

"Sometimes I have a tendency to say things that I don't mean," He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed, "That's not what I meant, Olivia. You know that right?" But before he could say any more she stopped him.

"Look, I know you didn't really mean what you said, but it still hurt you know?"

He bobbed his head up and down, "Yeah. I'm sorry Liv, but I guess I'm not used to all of this." He said as he motioned around the master bedroom that was bigger then his entire old house.

"I know. I know, because that is how I felt at first too. It's not my money I didn't earn it, but shit El, once I had the girls---I was like... I have to give them best, you know? And I think of your children no differently the girls, Elliot. The money helped us out a lot since the girls got sick, I was able to quit work and take care of them, I was able to keep them at home with me instead of staying at the Hospital. This money gave me the time to spend with my daughters that I might not have been able to have with out…"

Elliot walked over and sat on the bed next to her, "I know Liv. I know." He said and she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Elliot, I know that your kids are not mine, I do, but I have grown to love them so much, as if they were my own…so when you said that---you really, really, hurt me."

"I know, and I'm so, so sorry for that." He rubbed her back and kissed her on the forehead.

"You better get going if you are going to meet Maureen. Reservations are for 7. Dress nice." She said pulling at his ratty T shirt. "I'm going to go check on the girls." She said and kissed him softly on the lips at first, but quickly turned into a deep one. She surpassed his lips and pressed her mouth hard on his.

She then simply got up and walked away.

"TEASE!" She heard him shout as she walked down the hallway. She giggled to herself and until she reached the girls room.

They were still sleeping and looking incredibly pale. She sat down on Ella's bed and rubbed her bald head. Ella was holding on tight to a teddy bear that Casey had gotten them when they were first born.

She looked over at Ava who was rolled up in the fetal position, her blanket covering most of her face. Olivia couldn't really tell but she thought that Ava might have been sucking her thumb. She hadn't done that since she was 10 months old. Olivia frowned, kissed both girls on the forehead and walked out of the room.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"You guys are going to get married." Olivia laughed into the phone.

"Shut up!" Casey yelled embarrassed but wasn't able to hide her grin, and blushing cheeks. She was thankful that Liv couldn't see her, "Anyways, did you get any results back?" She said turning the conversation into a serious one.

Olivia bit her bottom lip, "Uh, yeah just Maureen." She paused, thinking about Maureen for a minute. She hoped Elliot was convincing her that she is his daughter, no matter what. "She's not a match."

"Oh I'm sorry. When will you know about the rest of you guys?"

Olivia ran her fingers through her hair, "Any time now. Ana said that she would call me the second she found out."

"Well that's good."

"Yeah, it's just the waiting that is the hardest part." She said as she fixed herself a peanut butter and Jelly sand which.

"Ain't that the truth. Alright well I'm going to get going. I'll try and stop by sometime tomorrow."

"Sounds good. Tell John that the girls miss their favorite Uncle." She said with bright smile.

"I will. Bye Liv."

"Bye Case." Olivia clicked her phone shut and began to eat her sand which. She hoped that Casey was making John happy. He deserved to be happy, and he deserved someone that could love him they way she loves Elliot.

She was off in la la land when she heard the pitter patter of two bare feet on the hard wood floors, "Mommy?"

Olivia bent down and picked up Ella, "You ok, Bella?" She asked kissing her forehead.

"Ava still sweeping." She said lying her head down on Olivia's shoulder.

"You still tired, sweetie?" She asked feeling her head to see if she was running a fever.

"Yeah. You rock me, Mommy?"

"Of course."

She carried Ella upstairs and into her room. She sat down in the rocking chair and rocked her little girl. She sang softly into her ear, and she remembered rocking them when they were newborns, they were so little, and so good. They just loved to be rocked, and Olivia loved to rock them.

She looked down and Ella was sleeping peacefully in her arms. "Works every time." She whispered when she saw Lizzie standing in the doorway.

Lizzie smiled, "I'll have to remember that." Olivia got up to put Ella in her bed, "I didn't mean to interrupt. I just wanted to let you know I was home."

"She's sleeping anyway. Besides I want to hear about your day." She said as she pulled the covers over Ella's body. She didn't even stir when Olivia laid her down. "Night, baby." She said softly kissed her on the head.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"So when is your first game?" Olivia asked Lizzie as she flipped over her grill cheese.

"Two weeks. Do you think you and Dad will be able to come?"

"We'll try our hardest, and that's a promise." Olivia said, unable to fully commit to any thing anymore.

"I know you will. And I will understand completely if you can't make it." Lizzie said with a smile.

"Thanks Lizzie. You really have grown up a lot." Olivia said placing the grill cheese in front of Lizzie.

She took a bite, "This is great Liv. Your cooking has come a long way from what I can remember." She said laughing.

"Ha, ha ha. Well having kids will do that to you, I guess." She said as she washed out the dirty pan, "So where's Dickie? Did you guys come home together?"

"Ah no, boys practice got out earlier then ours, so he was going to his friends house to study. He said he'd be home around 9."

"Oh ok." Olivia said wondering if that was in fact the truth. They were 16 years old after all. When she thinks back to when she was 16---well, she just hoped that Dickie and Lizzie were more responsible than she was.

"Where's Dad?"

"Out to dinner with Maureen."

"Oh any reason?" Lizzie asked inhaling her grill cheese.

Olivia scratched the back of her neck, "Actually, yeah," Lizzie eyes opened wide, "She's not a match."

"Oh." Lizzie said softly, "Did you find out about anyone else?"

"Nope not yet. But any time now. So of course I'm freaking out every time the phone rings."

"Yeah." Lizzie said smiling and finishing the sand which.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"How long have you known, Daddy?" Maureen asked not really sure if she wanted to know the answer or not.

"It doesn't matter, Maur." He said grabbing her hand on the table.

She pulled it away quickly, "Yes it does! I need to know, please Daddy. How long?"

He looked into her pleading eyes, "Awhile." He said softly.

"Awhile. That's your answer to me?"

Elliot sighed and took a sip of his beer, "Since you started college." He admitted.

He would never forget that day.

**Flashback**

_Maureen had to get a physical for college and Kathy couldn't take her so Elliot did. They had to fill out a bunch of forms before the Doctor would see her. He happened to glance at Maureen's chart and noticed her blood type. He was horrified, but kept a straight face as they waited until she was called._

_When Maureen went into the room, Elliot fled outside and screamed like a maniac. He felt like the world had just collapsed on his shoulders. 18 years of lies and deception. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't talk, and he felt numb. _

_When Maureen was all done, and dropped her off at the house, and told her he caught a case, and he didn't know when he would be home. He drove around for a little while scoping out the local bars. He drove past Olivia's apartment but she didn't appear to be home._

_He decided to hit up the bar that was across the street from her apartment, hoping that maybe she was there. The bar was crowded, and he didn't see her, so he took a seat at the bar and ordered a Blue Light, with a shot of tequila on the side. Yes, tequila---because he absolutely needed it._

_4 shots and 3 beers later Elliot spotted her. She was sitting in a booth across the way, and she was on what appeared to be a date. _

_Hmmmph, Liv didn't tell me she had a date tonight, Elliot thought to himself. He continued to stare at her and the strange man she was sitting with. He could read her like a book, always. She was having a horrible time. He could tell she was fake laughing; she must have been really bored. _

_Finally what seemed like hours, she finally noticed Elliot staring at her. The expression on her face was one that he will never forget, priceless. It was the look of what someone who was stranded in the desert would look like if he came across the ocean. Salvation!_

_Their eyes met and held for a second. He saw her excuse herself from her 'date' and practically run over to Elliot. She gave him a huge hug, nearly tipping them both over._

_"Just keep smiling," She whispered into Elliot's ear, "This guy is the biggest loser I have ever been out with. I'm so wasted Elliot." She collapsing her head on his shoulder._

_"Whoa, whoa." He said trying to lift her head off of his shoulder, "Liv?" He called out._

_"Yeah sorry. This guy is so boring. I have had to drink to try and make his stories interesting…and let me tell you, I have had more to drink then I have had in a long time, and his stories are still as dull as can be." She said slurring her words. _

_Elliot was laughing; he could smell the liquor on her breath. He was also smiling because she was still holding onto him for dear life. He didn't know if she was holding on for support, or not, but he didn't care._

_Olivia took a step back, becoming aware of how close they're bodies had become. As she stepped back, she took a look at Elliot and frowned, "What's wrong, El?"_

_"Nothing's wrong." He said a little too quickly._

_"Uh huh. That's why you are in my bar, by yourself taking shots of," She smelled the empty shot glass and almost choked, "Tequila…oh man Elliot. You only drink Tequila after a really, really hard day. So spill." She said pulling out the stool next to him and sitting down._

_"What about Mr. Boring over there?" He asked when he saw her sit down._

_"Elliot did you or did you not come to this bar hoping I would be here?" _

_"I did."_

_"Right, which means you really, really need to talk about something, so don't think you are getting out of this, Mr. Boring can wait, you came here to tell me something, now do it."_

_He took a sip of his beer, and took a long breathe, "She's not mine." He choked out._

_"Huh, what are you talking about?" She asked confused._

_"Maureen. She's not mine." Elliot said not even believing those words._

_Olivia's hands went up to her mouth to cover her shock, "What? Do you know for sure?" She asked._

_"Yeah. I saw her blood type. Now I know why Kathy always insisted on taking the girls to the Doctors, and doing all the paper work---God!" He said slamming his beer on the bar._

_"Elliot, I'm so, sooooooo sorry." Olivia said rising from her bar stool and wrapping her arms around Elliot tightly. She patted his back, and wondered what the hell he was going to do with this new information. _

_EOEOEO STILL FLASHBACK EOEOEOEOEO_

_"El-we-ot." Olivia said in her E.T. voice as she grabbed his hands and helped him inside the door._

_It was like the blind leading the blind. It took them about 15 minutes to walk across the street. To put it simply they were both HAMMERED._

_"FEED ME." Elliot groaned as they raided Olivia's kitchen._

_"Ok, ok…we got old---ew…no no," She said and quickly threw what ever she was holding into the garbage._

_"Can we just order Pizza, Livy?" He asked._

_"Sure you call, I have to change." She said and stumbled her way to the bedroom._

_She put on a pair of short boxer shorts and a tank. She was just about to walk out when Elliot walked in._

_"Did you know it was 4am?" He asked as he walked over the right side of the bed sat down and pointed to her alarm clock._

_"Holy shit!" She yelped._

_"Yeah, that's what I said. Nothing is open." He said with a frown, which quickly turned into laughter, which made Olivia laugh._

_"What?" She said unable to stop laughing, "What is it?"_

_"I…I can't get up!" He bellowed out as he tried to pull himself off of her bed._

_"Come on I'll help you, old man." She said walking over to him._

_She tried to pull him up, she really did, but the mixture of sleepiness, and drunkenness made it impossible. She gave one last UMPH, but only to fall herself, right on top of Elliot._

_They lay like that for a minute, dying of drunken laughter. She rolled over onto the left side of the bed, "Can't move. Room spinning." She said still giggling._

_"You too, huh?" He said rolling over on her bed so that he could face her._

_"Oh yeah." She said closing her eyes._

_"Hey Liv?"_

_"Hmmm?"_

_"Did you forget to say goodbye?" He asked._

_She looked at him blankly, "Say 'goodbye' to who, Elliot?"_

_Elliot burst out into laughter again, "Mr. Boring!"_

_They both looked at each other and died laughing, and that was the last thing they remembered before blacking out. _

_When they woke up the next morning, Elliot's arms were wrapped protectively around Olivia's waist and his face was nuzzled into her hair and neither one of them had felt so---right._

eoeoeoe END FLASHBACK eoeoeoeo

"That time I came to the station house, upset because you didn't send something into the college---Did you do it on purpose, Dad?"

"NO! No, definitely not. I had a hard case honey, I just forgot. I'm sorry about that."

He remembered when she came in so pissed off. He looked at Liv, and they both thought that Maureen had found out. He had never been so glad to hear that he fucked up.

"Dad?"

"Yes, baby?"

"You still love me like a daughter, right?"

He grabbed her hand from the table and held on tight, "You are my daughter Maur, always and forever. Always and forever."


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

The sirens wailed through the city, and Olivia felt her heart race. It was pouring outside and the thunder was so loud you couldn't hear anything else but the loud clapping of clouds. A beautiful sunny day turned black as the dark clouds made there way through the city.

She had never been so scared in her life, no other experience could compare to how terrified she felt right now. She said a silent prayer as the tears flowed down her cheeks.

She was doing the dishes when Ella called over the intercom, stating that Ava was not waking up. The five seconds it took for Olivia to run up the stairs had been traumatic, filled with the unthinkable.

Ava was unconscious and wasn't breathing right. Olivia called 911 right away. The operator told her an ambulance would be there in 3 minutes.

3 minutes that seemed like an eternity.

Ella was hysterical once she saw how frantic Olivia was. Olivia did her best to console her but she was so terrified her self she didn't know what to do.

"Why she not waked up, Momma?" Ella asked as her mother did CPR on Ava.

"I don't know, baby. I don't know." She said as she laid Ava flat on the floor, and tilted her head back.

"Wake her, Mommy! Wake her up!" Ella screamed as Olivia began compressions.

"I'm trying honey. I'm trying." Olivia said in pleading voice. To say that Olivia was freaking out would be the biggest understatement of the year.

She called Elliot's cell phone but he didn't pick up. She called Maureen's and the same thing. She called Ana, and told her what was going on.

Ana was already at the Hospital and told Olivia that she would page Maureen and get a hold of Elliot. That eased Olivia's fears a little bit, but she still wanted Elliot by her side.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

"Maureen!" Ana said frantic when she finally called back.

"What's wrong?" Maureen said her face becoming paler by the second.

"Why the hell haven't you answered your phone?"

"I was on a walk with my Dad, why? What's going on?"

"Are you with Elliot right now?" Ana asked.

"Yes."

"Get down to the Hospital now!" Ana cried and hung up to attend to Ava.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"OLIVIA!" Elliot shouted as he entered the Emergency room frantic. His panic eyes searched the waiting room, but didn't see her.

"I know where she is." Maureen said, and motioned for her Father to follow her. They ran down the hallway to a back set of stairs. They made their way up three flights and continued running until they got to the Children's ward waiting room.

Elliot saw Olivia immediately and ran to her, she saw him at the same time and stood up to feel Elliot's body wrap tightly around hers.

"What happened?" He asked.

"She didn't wake up, El. She didn't wake up." Olivia sobbed, "She wasn't breathing right, she wouldn't wake up, El."

Elliot rubbed her back as his body became completely paralyzed. "What did the Doctor's say?"

"Nothing. No word yet. I don't know, El."

Elliot took a few deep breaths, "Where's Ella?" He asked as he looked around the waiting room not seeing her.

It took Olivia a second to remember where she went, "Ah…oh, Munch and Fin heard the 911 call over the scanner. They met me here," She wiped her nose and tried to calm down a bit, "They took her to get something to eat..." Olivia said as she grabbed tightly to Elliot's shirt.

They sat down on the uncomfortable metal chairs, and Olivia rested her head on Elliot's shoulder as they waited to hear some news on their baby girl.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"You have to get those test results right away. I don't care what it takes, tell the lab techs to drop everything and get me those results." Doctor Ross ordered Ana.

"Right away, Sir." She said and ran off.

She literally bumped into Maureen on the way.

"Ana!" Maureen cried when she saw her, "They won't let me help! I have to do something, Ana. I have too!"

Ana sighed, "Maur, you know the rules, you're related."

"I need to help. I need ---"

"You need to go be with your family. They need you." Ana said placing a hand on Maureen's shoulder and continuing on her way to the Lab.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Munch, Fin, Casey and Don sat across from Olivia, Elliot, and the rest of the Stabler clan. The tension in the waiting room couldn't have been higher. The boys still hadn't completely forgiven Elliot, especially Munch.

Munch couldn't help but stare at Olivia; he wanted so badly to be the one to comfort her. His heart burned with jealously when he looked over and saw Elliot's hand rub her shoulder, or brush her hair out of her face, and it completely broke when he saw him kiss her.

He looked down and saw Casey sobbing. He put his arm around her tried to offer her some comfort. He couldn't help but feel like the world's biggest jackass. He looked over at Olivia and Elliot again, and something happened. He saw something, something he had never seen before. Unconditional love at it finest.

He got it then. That Olivia and Elliot had the kind of love that people dream of. It was the purest love God had created. No one experienced love like that these days…John sighed and continued to watch them. She would never love him, not like the way she loves Elliot.

He looked at Elliot, looked deep in his eyes, and behind the horror and panic for his girls; Munch saw the warm, tenderness and a sparkle that he knew was only meant for Olivia.

EOEOEOEOEO

The Doctor's had taken Ella to a private room, so they could run some tests on her to make sure whatever happened to Ava, wouldn't happen to her. That had been two hours ago, and Olivia grew more worried with each passing second.

The room was dead silent. Not a word was spoken in the past hour; they all just sat there and waited.

"Olivia?"

Olivia's head shot up from Elliot's shoulder as soon as she heard her name.

"What's happening to my girls, Ana?" She asked and felt a tight squeeze from Elliot on her shoulder.

"We have a match!"

Everyone in the waiting room stared at Ana, "Who?" They all asked.

"Kathleen."

All eyes then turned to Kathleen, "I'm a…match??" She managed to say through the huge lump in her throat.

"Yes. A perfect one at that. We need you right away. We don't have much time. I mean that is if you are willing---"

"Yes! Yes I'm willing. I'd do anything." Kathleen said and Ana pulled Kathleen up from her chair.

"Katie--" Olivia said pulling her into a hug, "Thank you. Thank so much." She wrapped her arms around her tightly and tears streamed down both their cheeks.

Katie and Ana disappeared down the hallway leaving Olivia standing there, unsure of what to think of everything.

"It's going to be ok, Liv. There going to make it. I know it." Elliot said as he hugged her tightly.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"No I won't do it. It's too risky. We have to wait." One of the Doctors said to another.

"WE. DON'T. HAVE. TIME!" The other Doctor hissed.

"I won't do it. She has almost no chance of survival if we operate now."

"And she might not ever be well enough to have the surgery!"

"Well, that's a chance we are going to have to take." The other Doctors stated. He looked over at Ana who was shaking her head.

"I agree, we have to wait…at least to give her a chance. I'll go tell them." She walked out the door and slowly towards the waiting room. She asked God to give her the strength to tell this family the bad news.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"Umm…Olivia? Elliot?" She asked timidly.

They both shot right up, "How are they? What's happening?" Olivia blurted out. She felt Elliot's arm wrap around her waist and pull her closer to him. He needed her just as much as she needed him.

"We're prepping Ella for surgery now…" She began.

"Ok…and Ava?" Olivia asked.

"She's stable, Olivia. But I'm sorry…we can't do the transplant on her. It's too risky. We have to wait." Ana said lowering her head along with her voice.

"But what does that mean? Doesn't she need it?" Olivia asked her eyes becoming horrified.

"I'm not going to lie to you Olivia, she needs the transplant desperately, but her body is just too weak. We'll do everything we can to help her become stronger…but---I'm sorry there are just no guarantees."

Olivia fell into Elliot's body, nearly collapsing to the floor. Elliot turned her around and pulled her up and into him. He looked at everyone in the waiting room, and waved them away.

The gang nodded their heads at Elliot, implying that they all understood and walked out of the waiting room, everyone in tears.

Olivia and Elliot slid to the floor, and Elliot continued to hold her. He placed kisses on her forehead and rubbed her back.

"I can't do it, Elliot. I can't do this." She cried into his chest, "I can't handle it." She sobbed, "It's not supposed to be this hard." She wailed her fists beating against his chest.

He was speechless; he didn't know what to say or do to help comfort her. He remembered when he had spoken those same words to her, "We have to be strong, Liv. For both of them."

Why had he left her? Why didn't he just stay in New York? These questions tore him up inside, because he never wanted leave her, and he did just that…how could he do that?

EOEOEOEO _**FLASHBACK**_EOEOEOEOEOEO

_"I love you, Olivia. I love you so much it hurts." He said holding her naked body close to his._

_"Then why are you leaving me?" Olivia cried into his chest._

_"I'm so sorry, Liv. I am, but I have too--they're my kids." He said as he closed his eyes and placed sweet kisses on her forehead, "I could never love anyone the way I love you," He pulled her head up so that he could look into her eyes, "The kind of love we have never dies, our love will survive even death. You're my soul mate, Olivia," He said as a single tear fell down his cheek, "It's not supposed to be this hard."_

_Olivia looked at him and kissed away his tear, "I love you more than I have ever loved anyone, Elliot. Please let's not talk about how you are leaving tomorrow, and going to break my heart forever…I don't want our last night together to be painful." She said rubbing her hands over his chest, "Make love to me, Elliot. Make love to me until you have to leave." She begged, "I never want to forget the way I feel when you touch me, kiss me, hold me…are inside of me. Please Elliot; I don't ever want to forget."_

eoeoeoeo _**END FLASHBACK**_ eoeoeoeoeoeo

"Dad? Liv?" Maureen called out softly not seeing them at first. She shifted her eyes down to the floor and saw Olivia curled into a ball heaved into Elliot's chest. The sight brought instant tears to the girls face, "Uh…Ella is ready for the transplant, you can go see her now. She's in room 104C."

Elliot helped Olivia to her feet, and wrapped his arms around her and guided her out of the room. "Wait." Olivia whimpered before they walked any further, "How do I look?" She asked.

"Beautiful." Elliot responded.

"Seriously, I don't want Ella to know I was crying."

Elliot placed his thumb underneath her eye and rubbed off the smudge from Olivia's eye make up, "There, perfect." He said placing a kiss on her forehead. He pulled her body into his side, and they walked slowly into Ella's room.

EOEOEOEOEO

"Where's A, Momma? Why are we in different rooms?" Ella asked confused as to why her sister wasn't by her side, "Is she still sleeping?"

Olivia and Elliot looked at each other, "Yes, baby. She's still sleeping." Olivia answered as she choked back her tears. She felt strength from Elliot from his hand rubbing her shoulder.

"I see her?"

"When you wake up." Elliot said.

"When I waked up, I be all better?" Ella asked her parents.

"I sure hope so pumpkin." Olivia said petting her daughter's bald head.

"Hair when I wake up?" She asked her eyes widening at the mere thought of her having hair again.

"Sorry sweetie, but it's going to take awhile for your hair to grow back."

"A be better when she waked up?"

Olivia felt her heart stop beating. She looked at Elliot, but could tell from his face that he didn't have the slightest clue of what to say.

"A be better when she waked up, Momma?" She asked again.

Olivia pulled her daughter into a hug, "I don't know, baby. I don't know." She said and let her tears fall down her face.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Maureen looked over at Ava; she was in a drug induced coma, in hopes to get her strength up. She felt Ana's hands rub her shoulders and relaxed a little bit.

"Hey." Maureen said turning around and gave her a weak smile.

"How you holding up?" Ana asked.

"Not good, Ana…not good. I'm so scared…I'm so scared." She said leaning into Ana.

They both hugged each other and let their tears pour, but when they heard the beeping coming from Ava's machine they quickly released each other and ran to Ava's side.

"Oh my God!" Maureen screamed.

Ana hit the call button on Ava's bed, "CODE BLUE! SHE'S CRASHING!"


	20. Chapter 20

**a/n: Writers Block for this story definitely gone! (THANK GOD!) I'm really proud of this chapter, i hope you guys like!**

Chapter 20

"Elliot, Olivia, Ella's out of surgery. Everything went well. She's still sleeping, but she should wake up soon," Ana said.

"Can we go see her?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah."

Elliot slowly withdrew his hand from Ava's sleeping body. She looked so fragile lying there. He kissed her on the forehead, and allowed Olivia to do the same. They took a long look at their beautiful daughter and walked out of the room.

Elliot took Olivia's hand in his, and they walked down the hall. They walked in silence, neither one of them knowing what to say. They were both emotionally drained, and tired. They had not slept in over 24 hours, and it was taking a toll on them.

They entered Ella's room and sat by her side. She looked the same as Ava did, and that scared the hell out of them.

EOEOEOEO

Kathleen's eyes fluttered opened, everything was so fuzzy. She felt like she had the world's worst hangover. It took her a minute to realize that she was in the hospital. Her vision came back to her, and she noticed the figure sitting next to her bed.

"Mom?" She asked in confusion. Was she still dreaming?

"Yeah, baby. It's me." Kathy said as she took her daughters hand.

"What are you doing here?"

"You didn't think I was going to let my baby girl have surgery with out her mother present did you?"

"Uh…no…I mean, I guess I just didn't think about it. Does Dad know you are here?" Way to go Kathleen, bring out the big guns.

"Uh…no. He doesn't. I owe him one huge apology…and even then…I don't think that will be enough," She sighed and rubbed her hand over her face, "What kind of mother am I? I was a horrible wife…and…and…" Kathy started to sob, "I don't think I can ever make it up to them…what I did Kathleen…" She couldn't continue as she choked on her own sobs.

"Oh mom." Kathleen said and embraced her hysterical mother into a hug.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"I see A now?" Ella asked trying to get out of the hospital bed.

Olivia quickly stopped her daughter from exiting the bed, "No, I'm sorry sweetheart," Olivia wiped a tear that rolled down her exhausted face, "Ava is still sleeping, baby."

"I sweep wit A, Mama?"

Olivia looked at Elliot and took a deep breath.

Olivia debated how she should tell her daughter that her sister might not wake up, and no honey, you can't sleep with her, the Doctor's won't allow it..._You know what? Fuck it!_ "Yeah baby, you can sleep with her." Olivia said and helped her daughter carefully out of the bed and into her arms.

"Olivia…" Elliot warned, but he saw the look in her eyes, he saw the look in his daughter's eyes, and he knew, this is what the girls needed, and God help him, he would give his girls whatever they wanted...

Olivia carried Ella to Ava's room, and she carefully placed her next to her sister, "You have to be very careful, ok?"

"I be careful, Mommy. I no touch wires…they hurted." Ella said as she carefully placed her fragile body next to her sisters, being very careful not to touch any of the tubes that ran from Ava to the machines.

"The Doctors aren't going to like this." Elliot said as he watched his daughters lay in the bed.

"I know…but Elliot, if I were…if I might...be on my way out" she whispered "…I would want you by my side. I would want to be enveloped in your body…and I know," She stopped and took a breath as the tears freely fell from her face, "They need each other, Elliot. They always have, and I'll be damned if ----"

"Shhh---I know…I know." Elliot said as he pulled Olivia into his chest, "No one should have to die alone." He whispered into her ear so that Ella couldn't hear.

It was the first time she had heard those words out loud in relation to her children and actually thought that might be the case. Her body shook unmercifully in Elliot's arms as he did his best to try and console her.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

The next three hours had come and gone. Ella and Ava looked like angels as they both slept.

"Should we go check on Kathleen, while they are both out?" Olivia asked Elliot.

"Yeah…you don't think they will move Ella back to her own room while we are gone, do you?"

"Nah, I saw Maggie come in and I'm sure she won't move them." She said. Maggie was the head nurse and she had been great to them. Always gave them whatever they needed no matter what the rules said.

"Ok." Elliot said and helped Olivia off of his lap and they walked to Kathleen's room.

They held hands as they walked, and Olivia had her head resting into Elliot's chest, "I love you," he said as he placed a long kiss on the top of her forehead as they entered the room.

"I love you t---" She started but stopped when she saw Kathy sitting next to Kathleen's bed.

Elliot had stopped mid walk and pulled Olivia back a little, "Kathy." He simply stated.

Kathy looked up from her book, and up at the pair, her gaze then shifted towards Kathleen who was sleeping soundly, "I'll…go. I just wanted to check on her." She explained.

Olivia nodded, as a mother she completely understood the worry she must have felt knowing her child was having surgery.

"Ah…no it's ok. We'll just come back later." Elliot said and started to walk out.

"Wait!" Kathy shouted and sprung from her chair, "Wait, please just wait."

Olivia and Elliot glanced at each other, not sure as to what Kathy was going to say or do.

"I know you don't even owe me a second of your time, but I...I'm so sorry…Olivia---I am. I didn't know…about the girls---I never read the letters…and I know that there is nothing I can ever do to make up for my horrendous behavior, but please, you have to know, that if I knew," She wiped a tear that rolled down her cheek, "If I knew…I would never have kept Elliot from them. I was a jealous, a jealous bitch that couldn't handle the fact that my husband didn't love me anymore…I was hurt, and bitter, and wanted him to hurt as much as I did. I never meant…I…I'm just so sorry." She screeched out before bringing her hands to her face and running out of the room.

Olivia and Elliot just looked at each other, "What do you even say to something like that?" Elliot asked.

Elliot shrugged his shoulders, but didn't say anything.

Olivia rubbed his back, "Hey…you alright?"

"I'm a lot of things, but alright is not one of them." He said pulling her into a hug, "It doesn't matter, this isn't about her, and I'll be damned if I'm going to waste my time thinking about what she did, what she didn't do---and….just it's not worth it. _She_ is not worth it."

Olivia was about to speak when she saw Kathleen stir from her slumber, "Dad? Liv?" She called out as her eyes weakly opened.

They both ran to her side, "Hey sweetheart. How are you feeling?" Elliot asked taking her hand in his.

"Sore, and tired." She said weakly, "Um Dad…I think that um---I mean did you see---"

"Yes honey, we saw your mother." Olivia answered. She gave her a reassuring smile to let her know that everything was ok.

"Oh…ok. I thought I dreamt that…" She said shifting slightly in the bed.

"Can I get you any thing?" Elliot asked.

"No I'm ok. I'm just so tired." She said trying to make herself comfortable.

"Go back to sleep, Katie. You need your rest." Olivia said kissing the top of her hand.

"How are the girls? Are they ok?" She asked her voice becoming worried.

"Ella is doing well, thanks to you." Olivia said with a wink and wide grin.

"What about Ava?" When neither Elliot nor Olivia answered she asked again, "What about Ava…?" Her voice became more panicked than ever.

"No change, baby. No change." Elliot said looking down at the floor.

"She's still…in a coma?"

"Yes, but the Doctors are keeping her in one." Elliot said trying to ease his daughter's fears.

"So we have to keep waiting until she gets strong enough to have the transplant?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"How long?"

"I don't know sweetheart, I don't know." Elliot said shaking his head back and forth.

They stayed with Kathleen for about a couple hours, and kept her company. They did crossword puzzles, and watched TV. No one spoke about Kathy, but whenever someone entered the room, all eyes went for the door to see who it was. When it was not Kathy, a sigh of relief filled the room.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"That is incredible." Dr. Ross said to Ana.

"I've heard about things like this happening with twins, but I've never actually seen it…" Ana said looking down at Ava and Ella.

"We should have thought of this sooner." Dr. Ross said almost ashamed that he didn't think of it himself.

"Thought of what sooner?" Elliot asked as he and Olivia returned to the Ava's room.

"Elliot! Olivia! It's wonderful! She's getting stronger; her last tests show a great improvement. If she remains in this condition for the next 24 hours we can do the transplant!" Ana said almost jumping for joy.

Olivia couldn't speak; she leaned back into Elliot's chest and the let the words sink in.

"What happened?" Elliot asked placing his hands around Olivia's waist.

"The human spirit is a miraculous thing. Ever since Ella has been sleeping with Ava, her vitals have gone up. It's like she knows that Ella is there cheering her on, telling her to get better." Dr. Ross replied.

"This is great news, you guys!"

Olivia still unable to speak just let her tears run down her face. Elliot felt them hit his arms, and spun her around, "You knew it, Liv. You knew it." He said as he held her close to his body.

Olivia had always known that her girls were special. They had always had that bond that was unexplainable. Right from the start, from day one she could see that they had a closeness that no one would be able to understand. She couldn't help but think that they had gotten those bonds from their parents.

Much like Ella and Ava; Olivia and Elliot, also had that strong bond, able to read each others minds, know what the other was thinking with out so much as word. It defined who they were, and they had never been able to define it. They were much more than soul mates; they had something stronger than even that. She couldn't help but think it was part of God's plan, and for those years when Elliot was gone Olivia cursed the fact that he had a part of her. She never understood why God would do that to her…until now.

It had all been a part of God's plan. He built them up only to send them right back down to the pits of hell ...but they made it out, with the strength and courage of a warrior, of a hero, of a mother and a father. Their love was fearless, their bond was unbreakable, and it would not be that way if it hadn't been for the unfortunate circumstances that made it that way. And now as they watched their girls begin to make their way back she could only think that her and Elliot's bond was transferred into that of their children, and God willing would be the strength they needed to survive.

Being a product of rape Olivia never really believed that God created children out of love. She heard parents say it many of times, but she never once believed it herself, well, that was all starting to change.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Miss Jenkins had had about enough of the Stabler twins skipping her homeroom, and first period class. They had entered the school year late, and therefore, she thought, needed to catch up, because obviously they were way behind.

She tried talking to their soccer coaches about suspending them from a few games, only to find out that both had suddenly quit.

The thing that bothered her was that they seemed like good kids, but she had been teaching long enough to know that even the good kids could have a bad streak in them. She didn't know anything about their home life, but didn't think it could have been all that great seeing how as every letter sent home asking for a teacher conference had been ignored. She finally was able to get a phone number for the father, but she had been calling everyday for the past three days and still, no word.

Drugs, she thought. She'd seen it a million times, and the Stabler twins were definitely showing signs of it. A sense of withdrawal from their favorite activities--unexpectedly quitting the soccer team, tiredness--when the children did show up to class she had caught them dozing off or down right sleeping nearly every time, and redness in their eyes---yup the children were most definitely doing drugs.

The last bell had just rung, and students were flying down the halls. She purposely planted herself in front of the Stabler twins' lockers, she was going to have a serious talk with them, and explain to them how important their education was to their future.

She couldn't help but notice the tall redhead standing directly across from the twins' lockers. She kept checking her watch, and her cell phone was glued to her hip, and although it never rang, she was constantly checking it.

It wasn't until she heard her call out, "Dickie! Lizzie!" That Miss Jenkins attention was solely devoted to this mysterious redhead. Surely this couldn't be their mother, could it be.

"Aunt Casey!" The girl cried as she hugged who she now knew was their Aunt.

"Is everything alright? Did something happen?" The boy exclaimed and his face instantly paled.

"Fine, but we have to get to the---" Casey didn't get to finish, she was interrupted rather rudely.

"Excuse me, Hi, I'm Miss Jenkins the twins' homeroom teacher. I didn't mean to overhear, but I noticed that you are the twins, Aunt? "Miss Jenkins asked.

"Ah, yes, Casey Novak," Casey said outstretching her hand to shake, "May I ask what this is about?" Casey said wondering what the hell this woman could possibly have to say to her.

"Well you see...I have been trying to get in touch with the twins parents for over a week now. I have written letters, made phone calls, left messages," She said glaring at the twins like they erased the messages or something, "but they have not gotten back to me. I have some things that I need to discuss with them, and if you weren't too busy, maybe you could hear me out, and relay the message."

Casey looked at her watch and cursed under her breath, "Of all the fucking days." She huffed and Dickie and Lizzie tried to hide their giggles, "Sure, but I have to warn to you, time is off the most importance so we can't stay long."

"It should only take a minute or two. My classroom is right there. Richard, Elizabeth, you wait out here."

Casey followed their teacher into the classroom, and sat down across from the teacher's desk. She couldn't help but feel that she was in high school all over again, getting in trouble for smoking in the girls bathroom.

"Miss Novak, I'm starting to become really concerned about the twins. They have been skipping homeroom and first period almost everyday and…I think…I think they might be taking drugs."

Casey nearly burst out in a fit of laughter, "Oh my God! Is this what this is about? You think they are taking drugs?" Casey slapped her hand in her laugh she was laughing so hard.

"I don't think drugs are a laughing matter," Miss Jenkins stated, and Casey tried to compose herself.

"No, no, of course not. It's just, that's not it. They are going through a lot right now, the whole family is, and---"

"Miss Novak that is one of the top ten signs of teen drug use---turmoil at home. Also, withdrawing from their favorite activities…did you know they quit the soccer team?"

"Uh, yeah, I did." Casey said saddened, because she knew how much they loved soccer, but she also knew that they were making that sacrifice so they could spend more time with the girls. It broke her heart actually.

"They are always tired, consistently falling asleep in class---"

"Look Miss. Jenkins, I don't mean to sound rude," Casey said, now in her serious tone, "but Dickie and Lizzie Are._ Not_. On. Drugs…their baby sisters have leukemia. They have been really sick lately and it has been touch and go…" Casey thought this was going to be easier seeming how angry she was, but the moment she thought of Ella and Ava her heart instantly dropped, calming her immediately, "If the twins are falling asleep in class it's because they are helping the girls during the night, and they are probably not getting a good nights rest, not because they are on drugs! And to be honest, I don' think anyone has had a good nights rest since we found out about…" She stopped for a second thinking about Dickie and Lizzie helping clean up vomit at 3 am---they were 16 for Christ sake---, "Um…and the Soccer thing---they would much rather spend their time with their family than out in the field, and I'm sorry but I don't blame them one bit. As far as them missing homeroom and first period, well---I'm not sure what is going on there, because I'm sure that Elliot and Olivia get them to school on time---"

And as she said that she heard the twins' footsteps behind her, "They do…it's just…we leave once we get dropped off." Dickie said and Lizzie smacked him.

"What?" Casey asked in complete surprise, "Where do you go?"

Dickie and Lizzie both looked at each other out of shame, guilt or what Casey wasn't sure, "We go to Church." Lizzie said, and then immediately began to cry. Casey immediately pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back.

"They have an 8:30 mass…it's for healing…We pray for the girls, and were not sorry, because God will forgive us for missing stupid Spanish."

Lizzie hiccupped, "Father Fred talks to us afterwards sometimes too. He gives us different prayers we can say, and were not going to stop going." Lizzie said more to Miss Jenkins than Casey. She held tight on Casey's sweater and Casey could feel the Stabler temper coming... "Were not going to stop going until they are ok. Ella and Ava need us, and were not going to stop going, fuck homeroom, and fuck Spanish!" Lizzie screamed and then hid her head in Casey's shoulder were she sobbed so hard her shoulders shook.

Miss Jenkins face turned about ten shades lighter then it just was. Casey wasn't sure if it was because Lizzie just swore, or because of the information she had just received. What ever the case, she had never been more proud of twins.

EOEOEOEOEO

The ride home was silent; no one spoke a word about what just happened at school. It was until they were out of the car and walking into the Hospital that Lizzie spoke up.

"Casey?"

"Yeah Liz?"

"Are you going to tell my Dad and Liv that we were skipping class?"

Casey stopped and took a deep breath, she really hadn't thought about it, "Well…I think they should know that you guys are going to 8:30 mass, because they are going to be dropping you off there every morning."

"Oh right…but I mean---now that Miss Jenkins changed our schedules so that we have study hall first period---I mean ---do we even have to tell Dad and Liv that we had Spanish first period?"

Casey looked into Lizzie's big blue eyes and smiled, "No Lizzie, I won't tell them."

Dickie and Lizzie both jumped on Casey and gave her a huge hug, "Thank you, Aunt Casey!!! Thank you!!" They shouted.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Later that night, Ella was returned to her own room so she could get some tests done. The Doctors told Olivia and Elliot that as long as Ava's status stayed the same over night, they would be able to do the transplant in the afternoon.

Olivia and Elliot's spirits were high, that was the best news they have heard in a long time. It was better than catching a perp. Their daughters had a chance… and that was the best feeling in the world.

"Hey, how you guys holding up?" Maggie, the head nurse asked as she came in the room to check on Ella.

"The best we've been in a long time I think." Elliot answered for the both of them.

"Good to hear. We were all excited to hear that Ava's conditioned improved. I talked to Dr. Ross and as soon as we are all done with Ella's check up we will move her back to Ava's room." She said with a smile.

Olivia smiled, "That's great." She was beaming, and Elliot had never seen her look more beautiful.

"Now as for you two. Go home get some sleep, take a shower. It's going to be a long day tomorrow."

"Oh, no. We're fine." Olivia quickly stated.

"Olivia, you look like hell. Seriously at least go home and shower. I promise I will call you if anything changes."

EOEOEOEOEOEO

"Where are the twins?" Olivia asked as she began to roughly tear off Elliot's shirt. Her lips were pressing firmly and hard against his neck.

"Casey's….sleepover…Jesus I love it when you're forcefully." He said as she forcefully pushed him against door of the bathroom.

"I've missed you," She said teasing his lips with hers. "I feel like I haven't been with you in forever." She said as she pulled off her own shirt.

"It has been forever," He said taking in her beauty. Her chest was amazing, "God you have a slamming body." He said nuzzling his face into her breasts causing her too giggles.

"You're not so bad yourself there." She said running her hands up his perfectly toned stomach.

"We do make beautiful babies," He said kissing her along her neck.

"Yes, but we are awfully, awfully dirty." She said in a playful voice.

Elliot smirked, "Oh yes, we are definitely dirty," He said rubbing his hands up her arms, "So what are we going to do about it?"

"Well," She said placing kisses up and down his chest, "First we have to get you out of these filthy pants," She said very slowly undoing his button and zipper, and pulling them down along with his boxers.

He stepped out of them and tugged on her jeans, "I think your pants are wet, Liv." He said giggling.

"You have no idea," She said gripping his waist and pulling him towards the shower. She opened the glass door stuck her hand in. She turned on the water as Elliot worked on getting her jeans off.

"We haven't had sex in the shower in a long time." He said nipping at her neck.

She smiled as she felt his warm lips against her, "Well special times, cause for special occasions."

"Liv?" Elliot asked getting serious all of a sudden.

"Yeah, babe?"

"I just love you so much." He said picking her up into a huge bear hug. He crashed his lips hard onto hers and walked them into the shower.

EOEOEOEOEO

"See? I heard it again! Someone is definitely here!" Ana said worriedly.

"So? We'll just tell them we are studying!" Maureen said as she rubbed her hands over Ana's shoulders, "Trust me Ann, they would never, ever, think that…we---well you know."

"Really? Is that so?" Ana said turning around, "So you are saying that if your Dad walked in us right now, he wouldn't think anything looked a little suspicious?"

Maureen couldn't help but laugh. They were lying in bed completely naked, "Ok…well maybe they would."

"Are you ever going to tell them about us?" Ana asked.

Maureen exhaled, "Would you stop seeing me if I said no?"

"No."

Maureen smiled, "I'm not sure yet. This is all pretty new to me Ann. But if it turns into something, like Olivia and my Dad have, I would shout to the world…but as for right now…they have so much going on---" Her eyes darted from Ana to the comforter.

After a long pause Ana began to speak, "I haven't told anyone." She said just above a whisper.

"Huh?" Maureen asked.

Ana smiled, "I haven't told anyone…about me…not my family, not any of my friends, not my co-workers…" She ran her hands through her long hair, "I just couldn't admit it, you know? And I never had like serious girlfriend, so …I guess there was never any reason…"

"So it looks like we are in the same boat." Maureen said.

"I guess so." Ana's ears perked up, "Oh my God! Did you hear that?"

Maureen's eyes shot out of her head, "Oh my God. I definitely heard that. Quick, pass me my clothes!" Maureen ordered as both girls hurried to get themselves dressed.

When they were both fully clothed Maureen opened one of her medical books and placed it between them, "Just in case someone barges in," she explained.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Elliot pressed Olivia's body against the ceramic tile. The warm water pelted over them as he slid himself in and out of her. Her hands gripped his tight ass with each forceful thrust he gave her.

"Jesus Christ, Elliot!" She growled at him, "You're going to make me cum."

Elliot laughed against her shoulder, "Sorta the point, Liv."

Olivia slapped him playfully, "Not this fast." She moaned.

"When you're good, you're good." He said in a cocky tone.

Olivia cupped his jaw and made him look her in the eyes, "The best I ever had." She said and then slammed her lips into his. Their tongues battled for control, as their bodies battled to hold off.

"I'm not going to last much longer, Liv." He panted.

"You're telling me?" She asked as she flung her head back against the tile and felt her orgasm take full effect, "Fuck---El…" She moaned her stomach had so much pressure she thought she might explode.

"Christ, Liv…sooo good. You feel so fucking good."

They both came instantaneously their bodies shaking vigorously, "That was wonderful." She said kissing him on the mouth.

"You were amazing, as always." He said taking her hand in his.

"We should probably hurry up and get back…" She said looking at him who was looking at her engagement ring.

"Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"When the girls come home---for good, can we start planning our wedding? I don't think I can go another day with out you being my wife."

"You're amazing, you know that?" She said as she placed a kiss on his lips, "I think that's a great idea. Get dressed; I'm going to go wash the girl's favorite blankets." She placed another kiss on his lips and hopped out of the shower.

"I love you!" He called out after her.

"I love you too!" She called back.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"Casey Novak." She answered and got up from the kitchen table where she, Dickie and Lizzie were playing monopoly.

"Hey Case, its Trevor."

Casey wrinkled her nose, What the hell was Trevor doing calling her? And how did her get her cell number?

"Oh hey."

"Uh…I was um…wondering if maybe you wanted to join me for dinner on Friday?"

Casey's jaw hit the floor. Did Trevor Langan just ask her out on a date? The Trevor Langan? Her cheeks blushed immediately. She had had a secret crush on Trevor for years.

"Uh…yeah, I mean yes!" Casey said before she even realized what was going on.

"Really? Uh I mean that's great. I'll give you a call tomorrow with the details---oh and Case?"

"Uh huh?"

"How is Olivia holding up? Any word on her girls?"

Her heart was melting, "Things are looking better and better."

"That's great. Give them my best. Bye Case."

"Bye Trevor." Casey said as she fell into the wall behind her. She held the phone close to her chest, and she had couldn't help but feel like school girl. It wasn't until moments later that she remembered…"John…" She mumbled and immediately felt like whorish bitch.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

The room was dark, the only light coming in from the street light outside, and it cast a shadow on the wall.

"A…I know you sweeping, but I need you to wake up." Ella carefully poked her sister, "I scared A…I no want you to die. Pease get better and wake up." She took her sisters hand and rubbed it tenderly. "I sweep too…when I wake up, you wake too, k?" She said and snuggled up close to her sister.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Casey made up some lame excuse and told the Dickie and Lizzie that she had forgotten some important files in her car. Once outside she ran to the gas station and bought a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. She was barely out of the store and she had them packed and opened. She hadn't smoked in 5 years, and God did it feel sinfully good when she took that first drag.

She walked back to her apartment slowly. What was she doing? She just agreed to go out on a date with Trevor! After years of pining for him, her wish had finally come true. But she was dating John. She took another drag watching the smoke as she exhaled.

She tried to reason with herself, she reversed the situation. John had been in love with Olivia for the past 7 years, and if she ever called him up and asked him out---he would drop everything and go running. She was no fool, John didn't love her like he loved Olivia…did he?

She lit another cigarette, and sat on the stoop of her apartment. Should she tell John? Should she go out with Trevor and just see how it goes? Does Trevor even know about John? No…of course not…

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia was wiped, but she cleaned the kitchen while she waited for the washer to be done. She took the garbage out to the garage where the trash cans were, and was surprised to see Maureen's car, and another one she didn't recognize.

_Hmmm, Maureen must have a friend over…ohhh I wonder if it is that cute intern?__I'm pretty sure that he has a huge crush on her..._She thought as she threw the garbage in the large black can.

She walked back into the kitchen and started the dishwasher. Satisfied with sparkling kitchen she went to see if the washer was done. She was relived to find out it was. She took the girls favorite blankets from the washer and placed them in the dyer for one hour.

When Olivia went back upstairs she found Elliot passed out on their bed. He looked so comfortable, and relaxed, but she knew that they both wanted to get back to the hospital as soon as possible. However, she was so exhausted and drained she decided to set the alarm for 45 minutes and take a little nap as well. She crawled up in bed curled up next to him and wrapped her thin arms around him tightly. She was careful not to wake him as she slipped her leg in between his. She smiled when she felt his hand rub her upper thigh. She took a deep breath and was asleep with in seconds.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

"You look beautiful tonight, Casey." Trevor said as he pulled out a chair for her. She smiled delightfully as her cheeks became a warm shade of red and sat down.

"Thank you, so do you---uh…not beautiful, oh I mean you do---I uh," She put her hand to her mouth and let out a nervous laugh. She took a deep breath and tried again, "you look nice, too."

Trevor smiled at her, and she felt her legs go weak, "You know," he said picking up the wine list, "I have been dying to ask you out for awhile now."

Casey nearly choked on her own salvia, "Really?"

Trevor laughed, "yeah…I can't believe I finally got up the nerve."

Casey smiled, "I'm glad you did."

"Me too."

EOEOEOEO

Casey and Trevor made small talk while they sipped on their wine and waited for their meals to arrive.

"I'm having a nice time," he said as he picked up his glass. "I have to admit, I wish I would have asked you out sooner, I just thought---" He stopped mid sentence and shook his head, "ah, never mind."

Being the lawyer that she was, Casey couldn't let it go, "No, what?" she asked.

"Oh, nothing." He said taking a huge gulp from his wine glass.

"Oh, no you don't. Come on say it!" she said playfully edging him on.

"Ok fine, but it's going to sound ridiculous. I thought you had something going on with John Munch."

Casey felt the floor drop beneath her and Trevor must have felt it too because he gave a nervous laugh and continued to speak, "Oh my God…did you? With Munch? Are you serious? Isn't he a little old for you?"

Casey instantly felt horrible for John, "He's a great guy Trevor."

Trevor nodded his head and set his glass down, "So what happened?"

"Uh…well. I don't know actually. We were never really 'official', and um…he's in love with someone else." She said taking a swig, trying not to make eye contact.

"Olivia."

Casey's eyes widened, "uh, yeah. How'd you know?"

"I went out with him and his partner Fin after a case a couple of years ago, and I asked where Stabler had run off too…bad idea…he went off on a evil tangent, and I could just tell…you know, the way he talked about her---"

"Oh, yeah I know. In fact I'm sure the only person that doesn't know is Elliot, and if he was ever to find out, I'm sure he'd snap Munch in two like a cheap pencil."

"You mean Olivia knows that John is in love with her?"

"Yeah. She's known for awhile now…but," Casey shook her head, "She's in love with Elliot. Always has been, always will be."

Trevor laughed, "Yeah---I know." He said with a mysterious lift of his brow.

Casey rolled her eyes, "Oh my God. You too?"

Trevor let out a deep laugh, "Relax Case. I asked her out once. She turned me down faster then I could even get the words out."

"If you are in love with her, I swear to God, I'm getting up and leaving right now."

Trevor laughed again and raised his glass to her, "No worries, Case." He said taking a swig, "I never knew you were so funny."

"Hysterical." She said rolling her eyes.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

"It's not over yet, Liv. The girls are still really sick. They aren't going to be able to home for awhile. New T cells developed from the donor's--Uh...Kathleen's, blood stem cells that are going to be providing a new immune system for the girls; however this new immune system is very weak, and can't handle any forms of germs for awhile. Like before, if the girls catch even a small cold it could kill them." Ana told Olivia and Elliot during the post-op interview.

"Hospital gowns, masks, gloves, the whole nine." Olivia rolled off her tongue.

"Exactly."

Olivia withdrew a breath, "But they're going to get better though, right?"

"Well, there are no guarantees," she warned; "but so far everything looks good. The girls seem to be taking well to the transplant."

EOEOEOOEO

"How long are you planning on staying, Mom?" Kathleen asked as sat up in her hospital bed.

"Uh…hmmm," Kathy ran her hands through her hair, "I hadn't really thought about it."

Kathleen looked down at her IV, "Grandma and Grandpa stopped by, they said you went job hunting the other day. Are you planning on staying in New York, Mom?"

Kathy's face turned a lighter shade, "I uh…I'm not sure sweetie. I'm thinking about it. I don't like being away from my children."

Kathleen sat back in her bed and closed her eyes. She didn't know why she felt upset about her own Mother moving back. Was it because of what she did to her father? But did she really do anything that terrible? All she really did was hide letters from her husbands ex girlfriend…right? It's not like she opened them…it's not like she knew Olivia was pregnant…

She took a deep breath, it was too much, "I'm tired, I'm going to take a nap."

"Geez, Kathleen…I thought maybe you would be a little excited about it."

Kathleen sat up, "Look Mom, it's just--I mean... I am, I am happy that you are thinking about moving back, but; I just don't want any trouble," she admitted honestly.

Kathy smiled at her daughter and ran her hand across her cheek, "No trouble sweetie, promise. I'll let you rest; I'll be back later, ok?"

"K," Kathleen said and closed her eyes.

As Kathy walked down the hallway she ran into her youngest daughter, "Hello, Elizabeth."

"Hi Mom, are you leaving?"

"I'm going to the mall, feel like joining me?"

Lizzie looked down at the floor, "I was just going to go visit Katie."

"She's going to take a nap. Come on sweetheart; spend some time with your own mother." Kathy said pulling her daughter into a hug.

"Um…well actually I promised the girls I would read them a story after they got done being poked and prodded. Big sisters have to keep their promises." She said with a smile.

Kathy took a step back. She knew that Elliot had other kids, but it was a hard concept that her children had other siblings. Siblings that Kathy had no part of. Her youngest daughter was a big sister; she couldn't help but feel uneasy about it.

"Oh, well that's nice of you, Lizzie. They are lucky to have a big sister like you." Kathy took a deep breath and looked at Lizzie, she was so grown up. When did she become a young woman? "Maybe we can go shopping tomorrow?"

"I'd like that," Lizzie said giving her mother a small squeeze, "I gotta go. I'll call you later."

"Bye." Kathy called out to Lizzie who was half way down the hall already.

EOEOEOEOEO

Lizzie had passed out on Olivia (who was also passed out) on the small couch outside of Ella and Ava's room. Elliot (sleeping as well) was on the other side of Olivia and had his arm wrapped protectively around her.

Kathy nearly walked right by them when she returned to the hospital. She definitely was surprised to see her little girl curled up on Olivia. Had Olivia and Lizzie really become that close? Kathy felt her blood boil through her skin, as her daughter slept like angel next to what she guessed Lizzie considered another mother figure.

When she noticed Elliot's arm around Olivia she wanted to hurl; however she kept her cool and counted to ten. She was trying to use the tools that she had learned in therapy. To take her mind off of the haunting images of her husband with another woman, she turned towards the door.

**BENSON, Ava/Ella.**

She stared at the name on the side of the door for awhile. Olivia and Elliot's children. They were so innocent in all of this, how could she despise them? They were sick for Christ sake! She decided to take a peek in the room, and finally get a glance at the children that were destroying her life.

She tilted her head in, but did not cross the threshold. She looked around the room to see two beautiful girls sitting up in their hospital beds playing with dolls, "I do her hair pwetty." One of the girls said to the other one. Kathy was blown away by how precious they were. They were so small and fragile looking, but they were gorgeous, even with out their hair. They were stinking adorable and Kathy felt the tears build up behind her eyes.

"Mommy said we get hair soon, A. N' den she do piggies and ponies!"

"Mommy do piggies to my dolly." The one girl said holding up her doll to show the other one.

She smiled at her twin, "I'm gwad you wakeded up. You made mommy cwy! You shoulda waked sooner."

"I sorry. I no go sweepy again, ok?"

"Pinky sear?"

"Pinky sear, an you can't go sweepy either, k?" The one girl got down from the bed and climbed up in her sister's bed holding out her pinky finger. They both locked fingers and smiled.

Kathy took a deep breath and stepped out, she wiped the tears that had fallen and tried to compose her self. They were so adorable she couldn't even take it. She walked down the hall to get away from them but quickly needed to sit down, only a couple of couches away from where Elliot and Olivia were. She balled up the soaked tissue that was in her hand and placed it in her purse, while getting out a fresh one.

Elliot stirred a couple of minutes later. He could hear his daughters chatting inside of the room. He very carefully removed his arm from around Olivia and stood up, being very slow so he did not disturb her or Lizzie. When he was successful, he walked towards the girl's room, only to stop when he heard a sob coming from down the hall.

He walked over to Kathy, and sat down, "hey."

She took the tissue and wiped her eyes, "They're so beautiful Elliot, they really are."

Elliot smiled, "I know, they're amazing." He took a deep breath and sighed, "Is it hard for you? You know... to see them? They would been the same age as--"

Kathy cut him off before he could say it, "I know."

They sat in silence for a minute both thinking about the past, "Elliot?"

"Hmm?"

"Would you still have moved to Denver if I wasn't pregnant?"

Elliot took a deep breath, and rubbed the back of his neck, "I…I can't answer that, Kathy."

"You wouldn't. I know you wouldn't," she said shaking her head, "You were so in love with her---still in love with her. You never loved me like you loved her." She didn't sound mean or negative in anyway, and this surprised Elliot. It was the first time she had ever sounded so civil when speaking in terms of his and Olivia's relationship.

"Kathy, I---"

"Did you ever tell her that I was pregnant?"

"No." The only secret between him and Olivia. He felt ashamed, he should have told her, but there wasn't any time. Her focus was on the girls, he couldn't add that to her stress load.

"I'm surprised she never knew I was 5 months when we left, I was totally showing."

Elliot thought back to that time. He had been with Olivia for 3 months, and everything was going wonderfully. He and Kathy had been legally divorced, and Olivia and him and fallen madly and deeply in love with each other; however it was short lived. He'd never forget that day when Kathy told him...

**FLASHBACK**

_"Were going to get caught if we keep sneaking around like this," he said as he placed kisses on her silky tan stomach._

_"I know, it's just so hard to keep my hands off of you," she said rubbing her hands up and down his back._

_They had just been ordered by Cragen to take 3 hours in the crib, they had just come off a 34 hour case that had driven everyone in the squad to the brink of insanity. _

_"You did a great job today, Liv. I'm really proud of you."_

_"Thanks, El," she said as she removed her shirt and lay down on the small cot._

_He hovered over her and rested his hips in between hers, "Thank God you're wearing a skirt today," he said as he ran his hand up her inner thigh, rubbing the outside of her panties._

_"You're telling me," she laughed._

_They were about to go at it when they heard footsteps headed their way._

_"Shit,"_

_"Fuck,"_

_They cursed as they quickly pulled themselves apart, and searched for Olivia's top, and then struggled to put it back on. They were sweating bullets before that door opened, completely paranoid. They had quickly jumped into separate beds, and pretended that they had just nodded off._

_He didn't even knock, he just walked right in, thank God they had heard him coming, "Stabler." He said loudly._

_Elliot turned around to look at his Captain, "Elliot, Kathy's downstairs, she needs to speak with you."_

_Elliot turned to Olivia and smiled when he saw her sleeping there, or pretending to sleep, "alright." he told Cragen and followed him downstairs._

_"You can use my office." _

_Eoeoeoeo_

_"What is it, Kath?"_

_"Why, I'm fine Elliot and you?" She snapped._

_"Kathy I just got off a really long case, I haven't slept in days, now just tell me what this is about."_

_"I'm pregnant."_

_"I'm sorry, what?"_

_"I said, I'm pregnant."_

_"But we haven't slept together in…"_

_"5th months," she replied lifting up her shit exposing her growing belly._

_"Fuck!" Elliot wailed, "is it mine?" He said as a last resort._

_"What is that supposed to mean?" She hollered._

_"You know what it means, Kathy! It's not like it would be the first time---Maur--"_

_"Okay! I get it! And yes it's yours! There hasn't been anyone else."_

_Elliot sat down in the chair and tried to breathe._

_"There's more."_

_"How could there be anymore?"_

_"I got a job in Colorado,"_

_"You what?"_

_"I'm taking it, Elliot. I applied for it before I even knew I was pregnant, and it's a great job."_

_"What the fuck!?" Elliot roared, "and what the hell am I supposed to do?"_

_"I already told the kids, they want to come, they are actually really excited about it, everyone is on board."_

_He couldn't believe what he was hearing. She was talking about it so rationally, like she had had this planned for months. How could she just stand there and say all this as if it was completely normal? Like she was just moving down the road._

_"I want you to come with us, Elliot. This baby needs its father."_

_"I'm not going, you're not going. Were not going. No, this is absolutely not going to happen."_

_"I'm sorry, Elliot, but we are going. We rented an apartment until we can find a house, and I got the kids already enrolled in school. Maureen's excited because they have a really good medical program at one of the local colleges."_

_"This can't be happening."_

_"I'm sorry, Elliot…but I put my life on hold for you, and I'm not doing it anymore. This is what I want, and it is what I'm doing. For the first time in my life I'm going to do what I want to do."_

_"When?"_

_"Next week."_

_"Next week!?" He screamed._

_Kathy looked at her watch and squealed, "I have a doctor's appointment, I have to go. I'll call you later," and she turned and walked out of the office._

**END FLASHBACK**

"Do you ever wonder how different things would be if he hadn't--"

"Don't go there, Kathy. We can't change things. I can't keep playing the 'wonder if' game. It drives me crazy. I'm sorry we didn't name him. We should have given him a name."

"We thought we had more time, El. I was only 8 months pregnant when I--"

"I know, I just think we should have named him." Elliot heard the girls giggle, and wanted nothing more then to just go hug them, and tell them how much he loved them, "I gotta go," he said pointing to the girl's room, and walking towards it.

"Daddy!" Kathy heard the girls scream as Elliot entered their room, and it broke her heart.

EOEOEOEOEO

When Olivia woke up, both Lizzie and Elliot were both gone. She straightened up and stretched her arms above her head with a small yawn. She squinted at her watch and couldn't believe how long she slept for. She stood up and walked over to the girl's room.

Just as she entered Elliot was walking out. He put his finger to his lips, "Shhh…just got them to sleep." He said placing his hands around her and pulling her into a hug, "You have a good nap?" He whispered as they broke apart and walked into the hallway.

Olivia leaned against the wall an Elliot turned to face her, leaving minimal space between them, "I feel rested," she said moving her finger along his collarbone.

"That's…um, that's nice." He said with a playful smile and pressed his body up to hers; "because you are definitely going to need your energy for later…" he smirked at her and pressed his lips to her neck. She tasted so sweet and so pure that he couldn't wait for it to be later.

"Oh really?" She said with a wide open smile moving her head back and forth in a teasing manor.

"Oh that's pretty much a guarantee." He said and took her head in his hands and very gently placed his lips to hers. He continued to caress her lips with his while moving his hands through her dark hair, "I love you, you know that right? That I always have?"

Olivia sighed and leaned her forehead against Elliot's, "Yes, I know Elliot. I'm sorry I doubted my love for you; however you understand why I did right?"

"Yes, but do you understand when I say that I always have…loved you? Like, since the first case we worked…I knew Olivia…I found out very quickly that you were the love of my life. I tried to fight it too, but I knew---"

Olivia cut him off by bringing her lips to his she pressed firmly, and held it, "yes, I know."

He moaned as he ran his fingers through her soft, silky, hair, and his body enveloped hers.

Kathy stood in still in her tracks when she caught glimpse of two. She wanted to turn away immediately; however something drew her to it. In all the years that she had been with Elliot, he had never, ever kissed her liked he was kissing Olivia right now. It was so pure, so loving, and yet so fucking hot---she couldn't stand it. Jealously crashed through her body and she felt herself starting to lose it. She quickly looked away and turned around heading straight for the exit.

When she got outside the fresh air felt great in her lungs, she took three deep breaths and tried to collect herself. After a few moments she walked to her car and drove to her mothers. She turned on the radio as loud as it would go, and tried to clear her head of the image that was driving her mad.

EOEOEOEO

"I should go," Ana said to Maureen as she rolled over on her bed.

"Relax, you just got here," Maureen replied as she changed channels on the television.

"Maureen, your Dad and Olivia are going to be home any minute," Ana protested.

"It's not like they are going to come up here! Besides, your car isn't even here, I drove us here, remember?" Maureen said walking out of the bedroom and into the small kitchen. She got out two bowls and two spoons, "I bought you some Lucky Charms…" Maureen said showing Ana the box and waving it in front of her face.

"Ok, fine…but---They just better not come up here, that's all I'm saying." She said grabbing the box from Maureen's hand. She went to pour some in the bowl when she stopped, "What about your, mom?" She gasped.

Maureen got the milk out of the fridge and laughed, "You're kidding right? My mom doesn't even know where we live. Trust me; she's not going to be stopping by."

"So did you get to see your mom today?"

"Uh…yeah for a little bit…I don't know, I'm trying to avoid her."

"Why?"

Maureen exhaled, "because the last time we, 'talked', she told me she wanted Dickie, Lizzie and Kathleen to move in with her and my Grandmother, and that I should try and persuade them." She looked at Ana who looked shocked, "And get this, she said because she doesn't want to bother Olivia and my Dad, that they have 'too much to worry about' and don't need the extra hassle of three teenagers."

"Wow."

"Yeah," Maureen said plowing a huge spoonful of Lucky Charms into her mouth.

"What did you tell her?"

"I told her that Dad and Olivia love having them here, and that I wasn't going to do her dirty work for her."

"Well good for you." Ana said leaning up against the counter.

"Yeah I know…I feel bad almost, because she has no idea what's coming, I mean I don't even think she knows that I know about my Dad."

"When are you going to talk to her about that?"

"Soon. It's starting to boil up, and I'm not sure how much longer I can keep it in. I can't help it, I'm pissed Ann--I just can't believe she did that."

"Well sure, it's only natural that you would have these feelings, Maur. You have every right to be pissed."

"Yeah?" Maureen asked.

"Yeah," Ana said placing a kiss on her forehead.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

"Dickie---we have to go!" Lizzie called out to her brother, "We should have been home an hour ago!" She shouted as she walked through the mounds of drunken teenagers to get to her brother.

"Lizzie, Lizzie…hey that sounds funny," He said now laughing hysterically. Lizzie sighed and took the red plastic cup from her brother.

"I think you have had enough," she said as she finished the last of its contents.

"Hey! Not fair! That was my beer." He wined.

"Too bad. It doesn't matter, the cab is here, we have to go." She said pulling on her brother, "Dad and Liv are going to be home in less than an hour."

"Ok, ok, fine." He turned to the group he was just talking too, "Later guys, see ya tomorrow."

"Later, D!" Everyone called out, including Jasmine, the incredibly hot, brown haired girl that Dickie has had a crush on since the first time he saw her two weeks ago.

Dickie couldn't help but blush. He never thought he would have a chance with her, but yet he talked to her almost the whole night. She was so beautiful looking, with her long brown hair and huge brown eyes; he was the girl of his dreams…

He was so wrapped up in his own world that he didn't even notice the tall, shaggy haired boy who wore classic rock T-shirts was making out with his twin sister.

"What the hell?" Dickie called pulling her off of him.

"Dickie!" Lizzie screamed as her lips fell from Owen's.

"We're going." He said pulling her out of the room.

"Lizzie! Wait!" Owen called out after her.

"I'll call you later, O!" She called out as Dickie dragged her out of the room.

EOEOEOEO

"What the fuck, Dickie!" Lizzie screamed as they got into the cab.

"What the hell were you doing making out with that kid?"

"We're seeing each other stupid!"

"You are not seeing him!"

"Why the hell not?" Lizzie screamed as she got out her phone and began to text.

"Because, he's a stoner, that's why! He does drugs, Lizzie."

"Oh my God, please Dickie! You used to smoke every day when we were in Denver, and besides it's not like he does other drugs---I mean he doesn't even drink for God's sake!"

"He doesn't drink?"

"No."

"Well that doesn't matter, I don't want you making out with him."

"You don't want me making out with anyone. Jesus Dickie, you're not Dad." Lizzie said as she checked her cell phone to see a new message.

"Did you smoke tonight?" Dickie said willing to drop the subject of Owen for now.

"Did you?"

"Touché, Lizzie. Touché."

"Let's just hope that Dad and Liv are not home yet, that way we can sneak upstairs, raid our fridge and pretend to be asleep when they come check on us."

"Sounds like a great plan…did we finish all of Liv's Mac N Cheese last night?"

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Casey put her hand to her forehead in an attempt to stop the constant thudding, "Uhhh," she groaned as she rolled over and realized that she wasn't at her apartment…or John's for that matter.

"Morning," she heard a mans voice coming from next to her.

_Oh fuck._

She slowly rolled over remembering some of the naughty details from last night. Trevor on top of her fucking her senseless, and God was it ever fucking good. It was so good they must had done it three of four times.

_I'm going to have a hard time walking_, she thought as she came face to face with Trevor.

"Hey," she said placing the sheet tightly around her body.

"Oh don't tell me your shy," he said teasing her, "you weren't that shy last night--"

"Ah!" Casey screamed, "No, no, no, no----"

"That's not what you were saying last night," Trevor said with a smile.

"Oh my God! How much did I drink last night?!" She said bringing her hands to hide her face.

"Casey, its ok--"

"No, no…this is not okay. This," she said motioning between the two of them, "is not ok! It's not okay…okay?"

"What's the big deal, Case?"

"Oh God, Oh God---" Casey said as she got up and tried to find her clothes. Once she gathered them all she went into the master bathroom to quickly change. Less then a minute later she reappeared fully clothed but still panicked more than ever.

"Casey---sit down would you?"

"No, I'm late, I have to go…we shouldn't have done this…we can't tell anyone." She said and walked towards the door.

"Casey! Wait! I don't understand!" Trevor called after her, "Can I at least call you sometime?"

This made Casey stop in her tracks; she turned and looked him, "Uh…yeah." She said and ran out.

As soon as she was out of the building she lit one of her cigarettes, "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" She shouted at no one in the street. She was a horrible person! Cheating on, John, Sleeping with a co-worker, lying to Trevor about John. She took another drag and decided she needed coffee, yes an extra large cup of coffee.


	22. Chapter 22

**a/n: To Mariska who always wins in my book:) And to Mel the greatest beta ever.  
**

Chapter 22

Ava fluttered her eyes open, annoyed by the bright florescent lights. She held up her tiny hand to shield her eyes from the sting. She focused on the bed next to hers, it appeared to be empty, "Ella?" she asked still in a sleepy daze.

"Hello, sweetheart," Olivia said as she walked over towards Ava's bed. It still amazes Olivia how the first thing each twin does when they wake up is located their other half. They have always done that, even as babies.

"Where's El, Momma?" She asked as she rubbed her eyes and continued searched the room for her sister.

"She's in the playroom sweetie," Olivia said as she placed her hand in Ava's.

"I go to pway room, Mommy?"

Olivia smiled slightly and rubbed her daughters forehead, "Not today, Baby. Maybe another day." She placed a kiss on her cheek, "Your Dad just went to get Ella, she'll be here in a minute."

"I a bad girl, Mommy?" she asked as her eyes grew worried.

"What? No, sweetie you're not a bad girl." She said and climbed into the bed so she could wrap her arms around her, "Why would you think you were a bad girl, sweetie?"

"Cause I no wake up for a long time…" she said softly as she looked at the foot of the bed.

"Oh sweetie," she said and placed another kiss on her forehead, "Sweetie, it's not your fault you didn't wake up, you were not a bad girl. In fact you were a very, very good girl because you did wake up!"

"I no bad?"

"No, baby, not at all. You see, your body is still very sick and needs more rest. You'll get to play in the playroom soon, honey." She looked at Ava to see if she understood what she was saying.

"I get to pway soon doh, Mommy?"

"Yes, very soon."

EOEOEOEO

"…and my Mommy is a superhero, and so is my Daddy. My Mommy and Daddy have special powers and one of dem is to love, and because…um, and because my Mommy and Daddy love each udda so much God…um, he gabe dem two babies insteada one!" Ella said, chatting away with one of the volunteers in the children's playroom.

"Wow that is awesome!" The young volunteer said. Elliot watched as she and Ella were sitting at a table coloring.

"Yeah, and I missed my Daddy cause he had to be a Daddy to his udda babies, but…um, den my Daddy be our Daddy," Ella said as she leaned over the table to get another crayon, "but... and…um God say dat he fix us because…um he wants us to pway with our Daddy…DADDY!" She shouted when she finally saw Elliot standing by the door way. She quickly got out of her chair and walked as fast as she could with her little IV cart trailing behind, her eyes were as bright as could be and her smile was ear to ear, "DADDY!" she shouted again and Elliot bent down to embrace her in a huge hug.

"Hello, sweetheart!" He said as he held her tight in his arms. He couldn't believe what she had just said, it just amazed him. _Kids really do say the darndest things,_ he thought.

"Daddy I missed you! I made a card for, Katie!!" She said as the volunteer got up to hand Elliot the drawing.

"Hi, I'm Mandy. Nice to meet you." She said with a smile.

"Nice to meet you too," He said out stretching his hand to shake hers.

"Daddy, I made a rainbow!" Ella said showing him her drawing.

Elliot smiled, "It's the most beautiful rainbow I have ever seen." Elliot said taking Ella's hand. The card was adorable. She spelled Katie's name, and wrote, 'get well soon', 'thank you', 'love Ella" in scattered places around the drawing.

"We go see A and Mommy now?" She asked.

"Yup, say goodbye to Miss Jasmine."

"Bye Miss Mandy!" Ella said waving her hand.

"Bye Ella, I'll see you soon. It was nice meeting you," she said to Elliot, "your daughter is absolutely adorable."

Elliot thanked her and he and Ella started to walk out when Ella abruptly stopped, broke free from Elliot's hand and ran back inside of the playroom.

"Miss Mandy, can I have a crayon so Ava can draw on the card for Katie, too?"

The girl smiled at her and then at Elliot who stood there and watched his daughter in amazement. She was just like her mother, always thinking of other people.

"You know what, sweetie? You can have the whole box, and here, take these." She said giving Ella a bunch of blank paper, and some coloring books.

"Wow! Really?" Ella exclaimed in disbelief.

Mandy laughed, "Yup, all yours kiddo!"

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"Dude! I totally just saw two chicks making out back there! I walked into room 1104, instead of 1114!" A young man said as he entered Kathleen's room with flowers in tow, "Babe--it was awesome!" He said setting the flowers down on a nearby table. He walked over to her and placed a kiss on her lips, not even noticing the woman sitting beside the bed.

"You're an idiot," Katie said, sitting up, "Kurtis, this is Olivia, Liv this is Kurtis."

The boy's eyes popped out of his head like a deer caught in headlights, "Oh hey, sorry I didn't see you sitting there." He said blushing as he walked over towards Olivia and shook her hand, "It's very nice to meet you Olivia. Katie speaks very highly of you."

Olivia smiled; the boy was cute, very cute. He was tall, with thick brown hair that pointing into every direction. He wore a navy blue T-shirt and jeans with the whitest sneakers Olivia had ever seen. Was this Katie's boyfriend? Why didn't she mention she had one?

"Thanks, Kurtis. How are you doing today?"

"I'm great, now that I'm here," the boy said taking a seat next to Katie's bedside.

Feeling like she was intruding on them, Olivia headed towards the door, "I uh…should go check on the girls---I'll stop by later. Kurtis if I don't see you, it was nice to meet you."

Olivia walked out of the room in a daze. She couldn't believe that Katie was hiding a boyfriend. Did Elliot know? Did Kathy know?

_I bet Maureen would know…well speak of the damn devil!_

She saw Maureen walk out of a room up ahead. Olivia was going to shout her name when something stopped her. She noticed Ana walk out of the room a few seconds after Maureen. Olivia stopped walking and happened to glance at the room number next to her, 1107…which meant that a few rooms ahead had to have been room 1104. The room number that Kurtis said he saw two girls making out in…

_Holy shit!_

EOEOEOEO

Casey gripped the sheets tighter, wrapping the soaked cloth between her fingers, "Holy fuck!" She screamed as felt an orgasm rip through her entire body, "so good," she panted as her lover plummeted her over and over.

"Casey!" He shouted as he ran his hands down her sides, finally resting them on her hips.

"I can't hold on much longer," she called out as her body began to shake, and sweat poured out of her body.

"I'm going to lose it," he moaned and eventually released himself into her. He fell to the side and breathed heavily, "That was amazing."

"Yeah," Casey said in a agreement.

"But…" He said looking at her, "Come on, Case. I heard a 'but' in there."

Casey exhaled, "But---we can't keep doing this," she said softly.

"What? Why?"

"Because…I…ummm," Casey took a deep breath and tried to figure out a way to explain this, "I…lied."

"Huh? What do you mean? About what?"

"Uh Boy," she groaned, "I'm sorta seeing John."

Trevor shot up, "you what!? Casey! Are you kidding me? Munch? I thought you said that, it wasn't anything official…and…and you led me to believe it was way in the past!"

"I know! I know!" Casey shouted as she held her hands to her face, "He doesn't love me though, and he never will."

"So break up with him."

"I am! I just---don't want to hurt him," she said sadly, "and besides, I didn't know if this was just---you know…"

"Fucking?" Trevor asked.

"Yeah," Casey said drawing a breath.

"Look Casey, I like you and I think this could be something really great…but I'm not going to just stand here while you date another guy. I deserve better than that."

"I know you do! Wait…does that mean you want something more with me?"

"Hello! Earth to Casey! Yes!" He said as he slammed his lips down on to hers, causing them to fall back on the mattress, to start all over again.

EOEOEOEOEO

"Wow, I can't believe we both got A's on our Spanish tests!" Dickie said as he and Lizzie walked towards there lockers.

"I know, we totally have to thank Liv for helping us study." Lizzie said.

"Yeah, are you going to the kegger on Friday?" Dickie asked as they reached their lockers and exchanged books.

"Yeah, probably…unless something happens with the girls."

"K good, me too. What should we tell Dad and Liv?"

"Does it matter D? They're not going to be home anyway. I don't think they have been home for more then an hour since the transplant."

"They did look really rugged last night, and Olivia has been looking really frail lately."

"I know, I didn't want to say anything, but she has lost about 10 pounds. I overheard Casey talking to Munch about it, she said that Liv was doing so good since Dad got back…eating and all, but ever since Ava got really sick, Liv hasn't been eating as well, or able to keep anything down."

"That's awful. Let's make her dinner on Saturday; we can bring it to the hospital!"

Lizzie looked at the floor, and then sighed, "um…ok."

"What? Did you have plans or something?"

"As a matter of fact D, I do. I told Owen he could come over."

"Lizzie! You know Dad would never allow a boy over, especially with out him there!"

"Well he wasn't going to know about it, now was he?" Lizzie shot back.

"Unbelievable. I'm late for Stats. I'll meet you here at three. Liv gave me money, so we can take a cab to the hospital---plus I told the girls we were going to play Candy Land!" Dickie said as his eyes got bright.

"You're a good guy D." Lizzie said placing a pat on his shoulder, "Just remember to let them win this time." She said with a smile and walked away.

Dickie watched her walk down the hall and felt a twinge when he saw Owen sneak up behind her and wrap his arms around her. He liked Owen, he was a good kid an all; however he just wasn't good enough for his sister.

EOEOEOEO

Olivia rubbed the back of her neck, there were so many knots in it she didn't even know where to begin, "I need the girls to come home soon, I need to sleep in my own bed, again." Elliot stood up from his chair and stood behind her; he swooshed her hands away, and took over massaging. Olivia patted his hand, "Thank you so much," she exhaled.

"They're going to come home soon, Liv. They are going to be strong, healthy, and run around the house making us nuts." He said as he continued rubbing her shoulders.

"I can't wait." She said with a smile from ear to ear, "I hope they will be back soon, they have been gone for almost an hour."

Elliot was about to say something when he noticed Ana walk into the room, with out Ava or Ella, "Hi guys! Just wanted to let you know, that there is a back up, that's why it's taking forever."

"Oh ok, thanks for coming to tell us, we were wondering what was taking so long." Olivia said, "I'm glad you're here, I wanted to ask you a question. One of the other Doctors was explaining to us why the girls needed the transfusion---but for the life of me I have no idea what he said…could you help us out? Maybe put it into English for us?" Olivia said and Elliot let out a little laugh.

Ana laughed, "Sure no problem. You see during the first 30 days after the transplant we have to wait for the donated cells to start to grow and make new blood cells. This is known as engraftment. The girl's cells have yet to engraft so they have a low count on all types of blood cells. This means they have very few white blood cells to fight infection. So we give them the blood transfusion until the new cells have been engrafted…does that make sense?"

Elliot and Olivia both nodded, "So when can they go home?" She asked.

Ana sighed, "Realistically, another couple of weeks. They're still at high risk for infections, and still need our care," Ana put her hand on Olivia's shoulder, "It will get better, Olivia. I promise you that. I'm going to schedule an appointment for you guys to meet with some specialists. They will be able to answer a lot of your questions, and get you guys prepared for the girl's homecoming, ok?"

"Ok," Olivia said taking Elliot's hand in hers.

"Ok, I'll go see if the girls are ready," Ana said with a sympathetic smile and left the room.

"You're a wonderful mother Olivia, have I ever told you that?" Elliot asked as he brought up their conjoined hands to his lips.

Olivia smiled up at him, "You tell me everyday, El."

Elliot kissed Olivia tightly on the mouth, pushing her body toward the wall, "I love kissing you. I always have, ever since the first time I actually got up enough courage to do it."

"Tried to do it," she corrected.

"What?"

"I actually kissed you first," she said smiling proudly.

"Liar," he said gripping her hands and pinning them above her head, "I admit the first time I tried to kiss I failed miserably, but the second time, oh…I nailed it." He said with a cocky grin.

"You nailed it yes; but sweetie, I kissed you," she said placing her lips back on his.

_**FLASHBACK**_

_"Elliot, what are you doing here?" She said while opening the door. It was late and although she knew he was lonely in his new place, she also knew that was not the reason he was at her door at 2 o'clock in the morning. The past month had been pretty strange when it came to their relationship. Now that Elliot was officially separated from Kathy and moved into his new place, he and Olivia had been spending almost every second of every day together. Not that she was complaining she wasn't - it was just weird..._

_Things had been changing between them, and she knew that both of them were fighting these new feelings that started to develop; however she didn't know how much longer she could continue to fight. It was getting harder each and every day for Olivia to control herself. He had come so close to kissing her the other day that she analyzed every second of it, until she came up with the conclusion that she had misconstrued the whole thing. Was he really having the thoughts that Olivia was?_

_He leaned his torso against the door frame, "I just wanted to make sure you were alright."_

_"I told you, Elliot. I'm fine, really." She said unable to look at him. She didn't trust herself, she was afraid her cheeks would flair up in a heartbeat._

_"Really? Huh…that sucks," he said as he pulled out plastic bag he was hiding behind him, "You see, I bought all this ice cream," he said pulling out a container of chocolate chip cookie dough, "And I got your favorite kind, I would hate for it to go waste, but if you're fine, I guess I will just go---" He said pretending to walk out._

_It didn't take her long: as soon as he turned around she grabbed his back and pulled him back into her apartment, "Well…maybe the case bothered me a little…" she said as she yanked the ice cream out of his hands._

_She got out bowls and spoons and scooped some into each of the bowls, "You know, Stabler, you can't bribe me with ice cream every time you want something."_

_Elliot smiled, "I know," he said with a laugh, "But there's cookies, and cake, brownies…beer--"_

_He was cut off by Liv slapping him playfully in the chest, "Watch it Stabler," she warned. _

_EOEOEOEO_

_They sat next to each other on Olivia's sofa and inhaled the ice cream. Olivia placed her bowl on the coffee table, "Thanks El, not only for the ice cream, but for the company…" She trailed off looking down at the empty bowl of ice cream. Elliot placed his empty bowl next to hers and put his arm around her, pulling her into his chest._

_"I know the case bothered you more than you are admitting, Liv. It's ok. You don't have to talk about it; I just wanted you to know that I know…" Olivia leaned into him and let out a breath. She placed her hand on his knee and rubbed it gently. _

_"Thanks El, it's just---hearing that little girl's stories about her mother…it just took me back, you know? I mean she could have ripped a page out of my own book. At least she has a family that loves her, and will take care of her---" Elliot rubbed circles around her back, and was honored that Olivia was finally opening up to her about the abuse she suffered while growing up. "Most families have home cooked meals, and family vacations, I had homemade beatings, and trips to the ER." She said with a laugh. When She looked at Elliot and saw the pity in his eyes, she immediately regretted saying anything, "Look, El---it wasn't that bad, I don't need your pity, I should never have said anything."_

_"No---no, don't ever say that. I would never pity you, Liv." He said while rubbing smaller and slower circles on her back, "I just wonder how you turned out so---strong, and smart, and wonderful, and gorgeous---" He quickly shut his mouth after he let that slip. Oh God, if she didn't kill him yesterday for almost kissing her, she definitely was going to kill him for calling her gorgeous._

_He looked down at her and saw a few tears escape her lids. It took her a minute or two to speak, she cleared her throat and softly spoke, "Thanks, Elliot…that uh…that means a lot…coming from you." Elliot smiled down at her, and took a deep breath, relieved that she didn't take a swing at him._

_45 minutes later Olivia was sleeping soundly on Elliot's chest. The glare from the TV was shining on both of them as Elliot watched Olivia's chest rise and fall. He didn't have the heart to move her, so he reached for the blanket that was behind them on the couch and draped it over both of them._

_He looked down at her sleeping form and couldn't even describe how beautiful she looked. He ran his fingers through her dark hair and wondered if she would kill him if he tried to do that when she was awake. Her hair was thick, full, silky smooth, and he wanted to wrap his body in it._

_No, no…that couldn't be right. She was his partner! I mean surely he couldn't have feelings for her, right? His marriage had just failed; he couldn't be falling for someone already…could he? He did try and kiss her the other night, too bad he failed miserably._

_He took a deep breath and sighed; he was kidding himself, as he had done for the past two or three years. If he was going to be honest with himself, he had to face the facts: he had definitely fallen for Olivia and there was nothing he could do about it. On the other hand, he was now a single guy, they were already best friends; would it really be that absurd? _

_He looked down at her and placed his hand gently to her cheek, and she leaned into it pressing her cheek to his palm. He smiled and wrapped his other arm around her. He closed his eyes and fell asleep. _

_EOEOEO_

_They were both jarred awake by the constant pounding on Olivia's door, "What the!" Olivia yelped pulling herself off of Elliot. She took a second and looked at Elliot, surprised that he was still there, and was he holding her? She didn't ponder on it for too long as the banging on the door continued._

_She got up and headed for the door, she looked through the keyhole and let out a laugh, "It's Casey," she said to Elliot, "and she's wasted!"_

_Olivia opened the door with a wide grin on her face--she loved drunk Casey, "Livy!!! I'm so glad you're home! I almost had to bang this thing down!" She said and Olivia waved her hand in front of her mouth, her suspicions had been correct---Casey was loaded. Casey stumbled into Olivia almost knocking her over, Elliot quickly got up to help Liv steady Casey._

_"Oh my God!" Casey said pulling both of her hands to her mouth when she saw Elliot, "I---I didn't mean to interrupt anything---" she said a let out a laugh, "I'm so sorry---I'll uh…I'll …haha…I'll just let you guys be alone," she said snorting as she walked towards the door._

_Olivia looked at Elliot in complete horror, "No! Casey! Wait! It's not what you think…we were just going over a case---" she lied._

_Even drunk Casey was still a lawyer, "Uh huh…and it just took you 10 minutes to answer the door why?" Casey said and then started stumbling to the bathroom, "Oh god…I think I'm going to vomit"_

_Elliot looked at Casey, and then Olivia, "I um…I'm going to go…I'll see you tomorrow, Liv." He said and walked towards the door._

_"Elliot---wait," she said holding up a finger, "Just wait a sec." She said and walked towards her bathroom to see if Casey was alright._

_She came back about a minute later to find Elliot folding the blanket that they were just moments ago wrapped up into, "Sorry about that---" She said motioning to the bathroom._

_"No, it's fine…really. I…ah better get going." He said nervously, placing the blanket on top of the couch._

_"Ok…I just wanted to say thank you, for earlier…" she said just as nervous._

_"No problem." He said with a smirk, and walked towards the door, and Olivia followed. He stopped when he reached the door, and turned to her, not knowing that Olivia was so close. They were standing no more then millimeters apart, "I'll ah…see you tomorrow." _

_He went to place a kiss on her cheek, but when she unexpectedly turned her head; his lips captured hers in the most perfect way. He didn't even know what was going on, it had all happened so fast. Before he could even comprehend how huge this moment was, he felt himself tug on her bottom lip with his thumb pulling her lips apart, and his tongue diving in to explore this new territory. He took a step closer, pressing her body up against the wall. Her legs became intertwined with his, and he felt her hands run up the length of his back._

_They both froze immediately when they heard Casey yell for Liv, "Uh, I um…should go help her." She said staring at his lips and how delicious they were._

_Elliot backed up, "oh yeah…yeah…I'll ah…just see you tomorrow." He turned to walk out the door, but stopped and turned around, catching Olivia, who was definitely just staring at his ass. He smiled at her to let her know that he had definitely just caught her. All his worries were washed away with in that second, "Olivia?"_

_"Huh? What? I mean yeah?" She said bringing her hands to her face to hide her embarrassment. _

_Elliot pulled her hands off of her face slowly, "Liv…look at me," he said and waited till her eyes met his, "I just wanted to say that---" but he was at a loss for words when his crystal blue eyes met her honey brown doe ones, he nearly melted, "I just wanted to say---uh…that…I---"_

_"Elliot, shut up and kiss me again," she said as she cupped his jaw with her hands. Her hands were so soft Elliot nearly melted into them. He placed his lips onto hers and pressed down. As his lips meshed with hers, he couldn't even believe what they were doing. When she finally pulled her lips away he was standing there like a buffoon, his lips still perched and his eyes half closed and goofy looking. When he heard Casey yacking in the bathroom, he shook his head and came out of his trance._

_"I better go help her," she said walking towards the bathroom, "Just shut the door when you leave," she added with a smile from ear to ear, "Bye Elliot, and thanks for tonight," she said bowing her head and suddenly feeling like teenager. _

_"Yeah, Night Liv, see ya tomorrow," he replied still on cloud nine from that kiss._

_**END FLASHBACK**_

"That was a great night," he told Olivia as he placed butterfly kisses on her lips, "I remember when I got in my car that song was on, you know, um…I can see clearly now the rain is gone," he began to sing softly, "I can see all obstacles in my way, gone are the dark clouds that had me blind," he sang as he started to move his hips from side to side, cause Olivia to giggle at his boyish ways, "It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright) Sun-Shiny day." He placed a kiss on Olivia's lips, "I bellowed it the entire ride home, had the volume up as high as it would go," he looked up at the ceiling as if remembering that day like it was yesterday, "God that was a great day," he said with a huge smile, and pulled Olivia into a huge hug.


	23. Chapter 23

**a/n: to all my lovely reviewers and readers for sticking with this story!!!**

Chapter 23

It had been three weeks of complete ciaos. Ever since Kathleen was discharged and Olivia had discovered a bottle of Tequila in Lizzie's room; Olivia and Elliot had to make some changes around the house. Unfortunately, for them that meant they never got to see each other anymore. They took shifts at staying at the hospital. Elliot would sleepover one night, and Olivia the next. Whoever was not at the hospital was at home making sure Lizzie and Dickie were doing their homework and staying out of trouble, and that Katie had round the clock supervision.

It wasn't just that though; Olivia and Elliot both new that it was hard on the sixteen year olds. Their world as they new it got flipped upside down. Olivia couldn't imagine what it was like for them, as if their parents divorce wasn't hard enough on them; they had to deal with their (just found out about, illegitimate) sisters cancer. It seemed only natural that they would try and numb out their feelings with drugs and alcohol. Being the sibling of a sick family member is always a difficult position. You kind of get pushed to the side, and ignored. All the while trying to deal with the fact that someone you love might die…make that two people you love. Olivia and Elliot had realized this and decided to try to make the extra effort to make sure they did not feel neglected.

Olivia was resting on the couch waiting for Lizzie to get home from school. Dickie had detention for the week for fighting, so she thought she would get in some girl talk with Liz. She enjoyed spending time with Elliot's kids, she actually felt like a mother to them as well. She often wondered if it was because she was now an actual mother. Whatever the reason she loved them like one of her own, and because of this she couldn't help but feel sadden to see them going through such a difficult time, especially at such a young age.

She had gotten herself in a crying tizzy by the time Lizzie walked through the door, "Oh my God, Olivia! Is everything ok?" Lizzie said with concern as she dropped her backpack and ran over to her.

Olivia pulled Lizzie into a huge hug, "I love you Elizabeth Stabler, you know that right?" Olivia asked as she ran her fingers through Lizzie's hair.

Lizzie smiled shyly, "Yeah, Liv. I know that."

"I can't imagine what you are going through Lizzie, but I think that you are amazing. What you have sacrificed to spend extra time with the girls, it means the world to them, and it means the world to me too. I know it has to be hard to see your friends playing soccer, and missing out on all the fun, and instead you have to go to the Hospital and read Dr. Seuss for countless hours to your fathers kids---" she wiped away the tears that had shed and gulped, "You'll never know how much it means and I just wanted to let you know that, and that I just love you Elizabeth Stabler," she pulled Lizzie in closer and kissed her forehead.

Lizzie couldn't help but feel warm and tingly in the inside; this, this right here is why she loved Olivia so much, always thinking about other people. Her heart and soul were saint like, and now she understood why Elliot never got mad when Kathy would call her St. Olivia. In his eyes, she was exactly that, and it was more of a term on endearment then an insult.

"Olivia, can I tell you something and you won't flip out?"

Olivia braced herself for what was about to come, "You can tell me anything sweetie."

"I sort of have a boyfriend," she said as her face lit up just thinking about him.

"You do?" Olivia asked in happy but surprised tone.

"Yeah, his name is Owen, and he's wonderful." She said blushing.

"So, tell me everything, what is he like?"

"Well, he's really cute, and he has the best hair! But he's smart too, even though he never studies…it's actually kind of annoying, he's like a genius…but for real."

"A genius huh?" Olivia asked surprised.

"Yeah, but he's not like a dork or anything. If you saw him you would probably think he was dumb as dirt!" She said with a laugh, "But most importantly he treats me like gold."

"Wow, sounds like you found yourself quite the catch. Your Dad is going to hate him," Olivia said just thinking of what Elliot would do to the poor kid.

"Yeah, Dickie doesn't like him either," she said.

"Oh yeah? Why's that?"

"Stupid brother overprotective bull sh---uh stuff," she said with a guilty smile.

Olivia took a deep breath, she didn't think she was going to have to have this talk for a long, long time, but here she was, "Ummm…how_serious_ is this relationship?"

Liz smiled innocently, "What, you mean like…are we having…sex?" She asked in surprise.

Olivia blushed a little, "yeah."

Lizzie giggled and Olivia prayed that was a good sign, "Oh my God! Olivia! I would never! I mean I would, but I'm waiting for marriage!"

Olivia let out a deep sigh and was able to breathe again, "Oh thank God. I think that is very smart and mature of you too."

"Yeah, I'm lucky because Owen feels the same way, so there is not all that weird pressure."

"Well he seems like quite the gentleman. I hope I get to meet him soon."

"Really? You think I could invite him over sometime?"

"I think that would be nice; however I'm not your father," she said with a half smile, "you want me to talk to him about it?"

"Yes!" Lizzie squealed, "I think he would take it a lot better coming from you."

Olivia smiled, "I think you're right."

"Come on, I'll start dinner for us." Lizzie said pulling Olivia up from the couch.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

It was almost ten o'clock and that meant that Elliot would be home any minute. Olivia was upstairs packing her bag for the hospital. She walked into the girl's room and grabbed the girls some extra clothes. She made sure that she grabbed Ava's Little Mermaid shirt and skirt, and Ella's Belle pajamas.

She walked back into the master bedroom and placed the girls clothes in the over night bag and zippered it shut. She almost jumped ten feet when she felt a pair of warm muscular arms wrap around her. She relaxed once she took in his scent and felt his lips firmly pressed against the back of her neck.

He put her nose to her hair and drew in her smell, "I miss you."

Olivia smiled, "It'll be over soon."

"I can't wait," he said continuing to seduce her neck with his lips, "you taste so good." He said drawing kisses to up her neck and nibbling on the bottom of her ear, "Do you have to go right away?" He asked already knowing the answer.

She groaned wanting nothing more then to make love to him, but the thought of her girls being at the hospital alone filled her with so much guilt and anxiety that she was half way out the door before Elliot even realized she was gone.

EOEOEOEOEO

"Ana wants to meet with me to day to talk about after care for when the girls come home, which I think is going to be soon!" Olivia told Casey over lunch the next day. Casey had dropped by the hospital with subs and they were eating them outside on the picnic benches.

"Oh my God! That's wonderful!" Casey said as she swallowed a huge bite.

"I know," Olivia said as she tried to sneak some money into Casey's purse for the subs, "What are these!?" Olivia gasped as she pulled out a pack of cigarettes.

"I'm quitting tomorrow!" Casey defended, "I'm just extra stressed," Casey said hoping Olivia wouldn't give her shit about it.

"Casey, I'm disappointed, you quit for 2 years!"

"I know! I know! I'm quitting tomorrow!"

Olivia's next actions surprised Casey, and worried her at the same time. Olivia took out a cigarette and lit it. Olivia was Casey's best friend, and she knew her inside and out. Olivia wasn't a smoker by any means, but there were certain times when Casey would find Olivia smoking, when Elliot left, and when the girls were really sick. But they were getting better, and Elliot was back.

"What's going on, Olivia?" Casey asked sympathetically.

Olivia sighed, "Things are just hard right now. I mean I'm here, he's there, I go there, he comes here. I don't get to see him for more then 5 minutes a day! We haven't had sex in three weeks for God's sake!" Olivia wasn't sure where all this was coming from but it felt good to get it off her chest, "I mean I know why we have to do it…and when I think about what everyone else is giving up I feel guilty for needing him next to me when I sleep…but I can't help it-- I'm scared he's going to leave…and I hate that I feel that way---But he's done it before. And now with Kathy being back, what if he leaves me again for her, Case? I couldn't take it…oh my God, I would be crushed---" Olivia paused and shook her head, as if coming back from another world, "I'm sorry Casey, I'm whining." She took a drag of her cigarette and looked at Casey, "Three weeks---!"

Casey looked over at her friend, "Olivia, Elliot is in love with you! He's not going to leave you!"

"But---but--"

"Olivia! No buts! You need to talk to him, you need to tell him."

"I can't Case---"

"You can't tell the man you love your biggest fears?"

"It's not like that--"

"Yes, it is, Liv. No secrets."

"Casey?" Olivia asked with wide eyes that gave Casey an uneasy feeling, "I'm scared he's going to leave me again, and I feel like a horrible person for not being able to trust him when he says he won't ever leave me---because he did! He did leave Case! If I can't trust him, I can't marry him…can I?"

As if on cue Casey's phone went off, "Novak…uh huh…fucking shit! Yeah, yeah I'll be right there," she said as she slammed her phone shut. She took a deep breath and grabbed Olivia's hand, "I'm sorry Liv, but I have to go. I'll call you as soon as I can and we will talk about this."

EOEOEOEOEO

"Hi Daddy!" Ella said when she saw Elliot walk into the room.

"Hi sweetheart," He said looking over at Ava who was stilling sleeping, "Did you just wake up?" Ella nodded, "Where's your mother?"

"I don't know," she said as she gave her father the biggest hug she could muster.

"Wow! That's a big hug for such a little girl."

"Daddy?" She asked looking up at him with her dark brown eyes that were identical to Olivia's.

"Yes?"

"Are you going to weave us?" She asked as she grabbed her stuff kitty and gave it pets.

"What?" Elliot asked in complete shock, "No baby, I'm never going to leave you. Why would you think that?"

Ella threw herself into her father again and gave him another hug, "Pwease don't weave us, Daddy!" She said as tears began to stream down her face, "Pwease Daddy! Pwease don't weave us!" The fragile girl cried as she hugged her Daddy.

"Baby girl, I'm not going to leave you I promise." Elliot said as he rubbed her back and tried to calm her down.

"Are you going to weave, Mommy?" She said with an eyeful of tears.

"What? No, El-Bell, I'm never leaving you guys, ever!" Elliot felt panic run through his body, "Why do you think I'm going to leave, baby?"

Ella bowed her head as if ashamed to tell him, "I hearded Mommy talking on da phone. I pwayed sweeping and she no know dat I was waked… Mommy said dat she was scared you go back to Katy, and dat if you weave us again she would die! I don't want Mommy to die, Daddy!" Ella wailed as she clung on to Elliot for dear life, "Pwease Daddy, pwease don't weave us!"

EOEOEOEO

Olivia poured her second glass of wine of the night. She ran her hands through her long dark locks and wondered when the last time she cut it was. She put her hand to her forehead and applied pressure.

It was in the midst of her fourth glass of wine when it occurred to her that if Elliot did in fact go back to Kathy he wouldn't just be ending their relationship, but he would also be destroying the relationship she had with his kids. She put her hand to heart, God how she loved them. They had become their own little family, with their own little routines, they had their own inside jokes. She wiped the tears that began to build in her eyes, and urged herself to quit thinking of these horrible scenarios.

She heard the side door open and Maureen's voice vibrate throughout the kitchen, "Okay, okay! Jeez! I'm home now; I gotta go… love you, too." Maureen clicked her phone shut, smiled and walked into the living room.

She sat down next to Olivia and stole a sip from her wine, "Hi," she said with a loved stoned smile on her face.

"Hey," Olivia said trying her best to hide her current state of depressed drunk, "How was work?"

"It was great," Maureen said in a dreamy voice, "Uh I mean, it was alright," she quickly said in a changed voice.

"Uh huh," Olivia said, "You seem to be quite happy these days Maur…is there someone--"

"Olivia! Stop, there's no one. I'm just happy ok?"

Olivia respected Maureen enough not to pressure her into talking about it, she also new Maureen enough to know that when she was ready she would talk about it she would. "You want to watch a movie?"

Maureen sighed and placed her hand on Olivia's lap, "I would love too, however I have to go back to the hospital…there is this thing I have to do…"

Olivia smiled sweetly, "Ok, well have fun."

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia woke up from her drunken induced nap to the sound of the alarm going off. She quickly got up, grabbed her gun and ran to the front door to see what was going on. She was ready to beat some ass when she saw the sight in front of her.

"Fuck….shit…how the hell do you work this damn thing?" Elliot was saying as he kept punching in numbers on the alarm keypad. He had three bags in his hand, a bouquet of flowers plus a bunch of, what appeared to be work files.

Olivia smiled at Elliot struggling to turn the alarm off. She was about to go over and help him when he actually got it, "I am the man!"

Olivia leaned up against the door frame connecting the foyer to the hallway, "And what is 'the man' doing here? You should be at the hospital." Olivia said crossing her arms across her chest.

Elliot turned around surprised to see Olivia there, "Hey." He said and walked over to her and planted a kiss on her lips, "The girls are fine, Maureen is with him. They're going to have a sleep over." He said as he put all of his stuff down and wrapped Olivia up in his arms. "I hope you don't mind, it's just I haven't see you in a while, and I thought we could use some alone time." He explained as he presented her with her flowers (lilies of course!) a box of chocolates as well as some take out, "I know it's late but I thought you would be hungry."

Olivia smiled, she loved this man with all her heart, but she couldn't help the nagging feeling that overtook her. The one that wouldn't shut up, 'he's going to leave you, he's going to leave you.'

EOEOEOEOEO

After they were done eating, well after Elliot was done eating, and Olivia was done picking, they headed off to the couch where they cuddled. He ran his hands through her hair and kissed the back of her neck, "I love you, you know that right?"

"Yes, Elliot. I know that you love me." _Know that you're not going to leave…well that's another story, _she thought.

"I know this past month has been hard, hell I know the past few years have been hard," he said with a little smile, "But Liv, I'm not going anywhere, I'm hear to stay, I'm not leaving you Olivia, not ever."

Olivia turned her head and look at him inquisitively, "Did Casey call you or something?"

Elliot smiled and took her hand in his, "No Liv, Casey did not call me; however our El-Bell has quite the ear for overhearing things." Olivia gasped, "Seems she heard you on the phone today, she's afraid that I'm going to leave."

"Oh Elliot, I'm so sorry, I thought she was sleeping, I never would have---"

Elliot interrupted, "Olivia, why do you think I'm going to leave you?"

Olivia felt her chest constrict, "I ah…" she thought about lying saying she never said those things; however she knew better than that, "is it really that far fetched? You've left before Elliot--"

Elliot stopped her before she could continue, "Olivia, I'm not leaving you, never, ever again. I promise, I promise with my whole heart, Liv---look at me Liv," He waited until her eyes met his, "I'm not going anywhere."

"Kathy's back."

"Yeah, she is, but that has nothing, _nothing Olivia_, to do with us. You don't think I still love her do you?" He looked her face over, "Olivia, I haven't been in love with Kathy…well shit maybe never. The way I feel about you Olivia, it's---it's indescribable, it's like nothing I have ever felt in my life, this is it Liv, you and me, this is what all those love movies are about---all the Fairy Tales, we're living it!"

Olivia couldn't hide the smile, "I'm just scared El. I've never had anything, _ stable_ in my life, and I love you so much and---God Elliot if I ever lost you---I think I would die, and that scares the living _shit_out of me! I'm an independent person, it's always been just me, and now, I have this family and it's wonderful and I don't ever want to go back... and if you left ---I… I just don't know how I would survive."

Elliot smiled and cupped her jaw, "First of all, you would survive because you're amazing and you have the strength that I don't think Superman could compare too, but most importantly, until God himself takes me off to his kingdom---I'm here to stay. Please, please know that!" He pressed his lips to hers and held them there until he could no longer breathe. He had to tell her, she needed to know, "Kathy was pregnant."

Olivia's mouth dropped, "What?"

"When I left…she was 5 months pregnant." He took a deep breath and continued, "It was a weak moment, I was alone, and depressed. I thought that I let the woman I loved get away..."

"Ew, Elliot, I don't want to hear about that! Was it while you were with me?" After she said she realized she didn't want to know, the thought of Elliot cheating on her almost broke her in two…

"No! God no! Jesus Olivia I would never cheat on you, never! And the woman I thought slipped through my fingers was you." He said as he squeezed her tight in his arms.

"I'm sorry," she said and pulled him into a deep kiss, "God Elliot, I'm so sorry." She took a deep breath and let the news settle, and let Elliot cry on her shoulder about a child he had lost, that was not theirs. She listened to him when he talked about how it only added to his depression, how losing a child was the worst thing a parent could go through, and how scared he was for the girls when he thought he was going to lose him too. He told her how his heart sank low in his chest when Ella said the things that she did. He opened up to her in a way that Elliot never really had before, and she was grateful for that.

She couldn't help but feel a sense of relief overcome her. She felt almost sick about it, that it came over such a tragedy; but the weight that was lifted, the trust that she was afraid to have suddenly became easy.


	24. Chapter 24

a/n: I wanted this chapter to be a little longer, but i got several, 'where the hell is the update?' emails so i decided just to post it. HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYBODY! Be thankful you are not a Turkey!!!! Poor little guys... i'll be eating my own tofu 'turkey' as i do not eat anything with a face!

Chapter 24

Elliot and Olivia were half way up the stairs when they realized they weren't going to make it all the way down the hall towards their bedroom, "Right here, now." Elliot moaned as he laid her down at the top of the landing.

"Elliot! What about the kids?" Olivia said stopping him from taking off her shirt.

"I told you," he said as he lifted up her shirt and kissed her stomach, "Sleep over at the hospital."

"All of them?" She asked with a raised eyebrow. When he unbuttoned her jeans she got her answer. All of 'em.

"God, Olivia you taste so good," He said as he started kissing her lower and lower. He pulled her jeans off quickly as well as the rest of her top, "It's been so long, Liv…" he panted as he kissed her on the outside of her panties sending her body soaring into another dimension. He then moved upwards kissing her on the mouth.

"3 weeks," she moaned as she now undid his jeans and took off his shirt, "3, very, _very_, long weeks," she moaned as she captured his lips, "I love kissing you. You are a great kisser, did ever tell you what a great kisser you are?"

"You make me better," he said as he moved his kisses down south again; however she stopped him.

"No, no time. You, me…now…three weeks, El!" She said as she shifted underneath him and felt him hard against her center, just waiting to enter.

"But I want to please you," he whined.

"After, I promise," she panted, "but right now, I just need you…please don't make me beg." And as soon as she said it she knew she would regret it.

"Beg, huh?" She heard him say, and then feel a cold draft from where Elliot's member had just been.

"Elliot," she moaned knowing that he was going to make her beg, or play hard to get, or do anything to stall this process.

"Yes, Livia?" he teased, kissing her neck, but keeping his erection away from her.

"I'm going to finish this up on my own, if you don't---"

Before she could finish her sentence she felt Elliot enter her in one quick motion. _Point for Benson. I knew that would work, that always works, _she giggled to herself.

"You don't play fair," he said as he thrust himself into her, over and over.

"You're just a sore loser," she moaned as she felt him slide in and out, "harder, El", she panted.

"As you wish," he said as he went deeper and deeper into her. His hands burned as they ran over her soft tan skin. He couldn't stop touching her, everywhere. His hands ran up and down her body, over her breasts, through her hair, squeezed tight on her thighs, hips and rear. It was like he was having her for the first time. An animal unleashed himself and he was driven to the brink of insanity when Olivia moaned his name. HIS name, after all that has happened, after what he did, she still allowed him this pleasure, even though sometimes he didn't believe he deserved it.

He kissed her hard on the mouth biting her lower lip gently, and almost sending her over the edge, "Elliot," she moaned as her hips moved erratically.

"I love you, Liv. More than anything in this world, I love you," he said with the most sincere tone of voice. He looked into her eyes, and swore he could see right into her soul, and she the same.

"You're too good to me, El. I love you too." She said locking eye contact with him at the same time both their orgasms began to build and rip through them like a tornado in a trailer park, "Holy fuck," she moaned and began to lose control over her bodies' movements and her nails dug into Elliot's back, and her legs clenched around his waist.

"Fuck…Liv," he moaned as he tried to keep up with her needs.

"Owe, owe!" Olivia cried in pain.

"What!? What is it? Did I hurt you?" Elliot asked as he quickly pulled out of her.

Olivia shifted and reached behind her, "No, nothing like that," she said as she found the object that was protruding into her back, "Fucking 3 inch heels," she gasped as she showed Elliot the strapless heels, and then threw them down the stairs.

"Phew!" Elliot said and entered her once again, "cause we are nowhere near done yet."

"Oh yeah? She asked with raised brow and a smile.

"Oh yeah." He said seductively, "For the next 10 hours you are mine."

"There's no one else's I'd rather be." She said and kissed him deep on the lips.

EOEOEOEOEO

"I just wanted to thank you guys for agreeing to do this. I know it will mean a lot to the girls," Maureen said as she and the rest of the gang walked towards Ella and Ava's room.

"Maureen stop. We all know that each of us would do anything for them." Dickie said as he reached into his pocket and turned off his phone, "I think we are all just thankful that we have this time."

"Jesus, Dickie. When did you get so grown up?" Kathleen asked and Dickie just smiled at her.

"What about you Liz? Are you mad you're not going to see your,_booooyfriend_?" Maureen teased.

"Shut up, Reen!" She hissed, and then her face became extremely red, "I'm not mad, I just wish we could have had a little bit more notice is all." She said as she crossed her arms across her chest.

"Whatever, Liz," Dickie chimed in, "You can say whatever you want, but we know you are mad that you can't go out on a Friday night."

"You know what Dickie? F-you!" Lizzie snapped, "I was upset at first ok? Owen and I made plans weeks in advance! But I'm over it, ok? I would do anything for those girls, and if it means breaking plans with my, yes--_booooyfriend,_ then I will! I'm here aren't I?"

"Ok, ok, jeez! Damn PMS." He mumbled, not thinking anyone else heard him, only to find out that when he looked up all he saw was three very pissed off females looking back at him. _Awe man! Why do I always have to say shit like that in front of them?_

Realizing he was going to get pulverized by three girls he took off into a run and beat everyone into the girls' room, where he knew the subject would be dropped, and all would be forgiven.

EOEOEOEO

_**FLASHBACK**_

_Olivia and Elliot were resting peacefully in Olivia's bed. Last nights events of wild love making had taken every ounce of energy they had. At one point Elliot thought his body was going to collapse from pure exhaustion. He pulled her closer to his chest, "You want kids, Livia?" He asked as he rubbed her bare stomach._

_Olivia groaned, "ah, the million dollar question, no…I couldn't…I would make a horrible mother…"_

_"Olivia! Are you serious?" He asked as he turned her body so that she was face to face with him._

_"Yeah, El. I mean I don't know how to be a mother! It's not like I had a great role model or anything."_

_"Olivia Benson! I'm surprised at you. Don't you see the way you are with victims? You are amazing; you would make an incredible mother!"_

_"Really?"_

_He kissed her softly on the lips, "Really." _

_**END FLASHBACK**_

Elliot thinks about that conversation now as he watches Olivia sleep in his arms. He looks around the room, picture frames are hung everywhere, there is one that says FAMILY, the girls pictures are inside of the letters. He squeezed Olivia gently and thought, _'she finally got a family she deserved'_. He was so proud of her, so proud of them. He began kissing the back of her neck, sliding his hand up and down her thigh.

"I'm sorry did I wake you?" Elliot apologized when she rolled over meeting his eyes, and he moved his hand from her outer thigh to her inner thigh, stroking her core softly.

"Yes, but trust me all is forgiven," she said with a smirk and kissed him deep on the mouth. She trailed her hands over his muscular arms and rubbing her feet up his calf.

"Maureen called," he said kissing her softly, "Good news, the girls got there release date."

"What?! When? Are you serious!?" Olivia shrieked.

Elliot laughed, "Next week."

Olivia cupped his jaw with her hand and kissed him hard on the mouth, "I'm so happy," she said, "I'm just so happy," She said and tears began to steam down her face, "Make love to me, Elliot."

"It would be my pleasure."

EOEOEOEOEO

All the Stabler kids crowded around the hospital conference room, along with Olivia and Elliot. A nurse was explaining the procedures for aftercare. The girls were coming home in 4 days and they had to get their house prepared. Special precautions had to be taken, and strict cleaning rituals had to be followed. The girl's immune systems were very weak, and any infection or simple virus that would have no effect on a healthy person could end up killing the girls. It was very important that the house stay sanitized.

"So I'm sorry guys, but no visitors, no pets, no 'I'll clean it later', 'I'll clean it later' could send the girls back into the hospital. It is very important that you understand this, and follow it." The nurse was saying.

"Don't worry, Betty, I'll make sure everything is in perfect order." Maureen said.

"I knew you would Dr. Stabler. So does anyone have any questions?" She asked. When no one said anything she excused herself.

"I can't believe they're coming home," Olivia said with fresh tears in her eyes, "My babies are coming home!" She exclaimed and everyone crowded around her and they all engaged in a group hug.

EOEOEOEOEO

"So basically you are inviting me to the party; but we can't act as if we are together?" Trevor said as he threw the covers off and started to get dressed.

"Trev---it's just that John is gong to be there, and I haven't exactly told him that we are dating…"

"But you ended it with him, right?" He asked holding out his hand in a 'stop' fashion.

"Yes, of course I did," Casey said as she got out of bed and wrapped herself in Trevor's body.

"You didn't tell _anyone_ that we are dating, did you?" He asked.

"Uh…well…" she said nervously.

Trevor smiled, and kissed her on the forehead, "I think I love you Casey Novak."

EOEOEOEOEOEO

"Come on, Liv! We are going to be late!" Elliot called up the stairs.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," She said as she hurried down the stairs, "How do I look?" She said swirling around her in a long black dress that accented every curve of her body.

Elliot smiled and walked up to her placing his lips powerfully on hers, "You look amazing, Liv." He said spinning her around.

"You have the card?" She asked.

"Yup, we're all set." He said getting the car keys out.

She kissed him on the lips, "Dickie, Lizzie," She called into the living room where they were watching TV, "We're leaving! We won't be too late---Big day tomorrow!" She squealed.

"Tell Uncle Don we said Happy Birthday!" Lizzie said, "And yes HUGE day tomorrow! We got Ella a Princess Jasmine Doll, and Ava a Little Mermaid one for their homecoming. You think they will like it?"

Olivia went up to Lizzie and placed a soft kiss on her forehead, "They are going to love it, but not as much as they love you. Thank you for being so wonderful during all of this. You guys are really something special." She said patting Dickie on the head, "Ok, we'll see you in a couple of hours."

EOEOEOEOEO

"I can't believe there are so many people here." John said to Fin as they walked around, "I mean did he invite the entire D.A's office?" He asked when he spotted Casey and Elizabeth Donnelly at the bar, "And did I see Langdon earlier? What is that jerk doing here?"

"Are you going to complain all night, man?" Fin asked.

"Sorry, it's just---"

"Casey is here. I got you, man. But can you just try to have a good time? I mean look around, there are a lot of fine looking women here."

"This is true," Munch said as he spotted Donnelly and what appeared to be checking him out.

"They really look happy, don't they?" Don said as he walked up behind them pointing to Olivia and Elliot.

Fin and Munch looked out to the dance floor where they were slowing dancing cheek to cheek, "They really do." Munch replied, and as he watched them out there his heart didn't sink like it normally did, he didn't feel the sudden urge to punch Elliot in the face and kick him repeatedly. Had he really gotten over her? Had he really forgiven Elliot? He took a step back and patted himself on the shoulder, and then walked over to the bar where Casey had just been standing, right next to Elizabeth Donnelly.

EOEOEOEOEO

"I love dancing with you," Elliot said as he and Olivia swayed back and forth.

"And I love you," She said looking into his amazing blue eyes.

"And I will continue to thank God for that, because I surely don't deserve it."

Olivia pulled away with a hurt look on her face, "Don't ever say that. You do deserve it, Elliot. Everyone deserves to be loved, everyone. I don't know what I would do with out you Elliot Stabler, I deserve you, your children deserve you." She said placing a kiss on top of his lips.

EOEOEOEO

Maureen waited very patiently for Ana. She stood outside on her balcony and waited to see her running figure. Ana almost never parked near the Stabler house, not when she knew she was spending the night, that is. Too many questions they weren't ready to answer yet. So she parked her car down the street and ran until she reached the stairs that led to Maureen's apartment.

Maureen giggled when she saw Ana running, she was gorgeous, and had a smoking body. She wanted to yell down to her, but she didn't want to wake Dickie or Lizzie. Kathleen still wasn't home and Maureen didn't think she would be home for another few hours. She was out with her boyfriend, who, in Maureen's opinion was probably the dumbest kid she had ever met; however he had one of the biggest hearts, and he was always a gentleman and treated Kathleen right, so she was willing to let go of the fact that he might be brain dead.

"Hey," Ana said when she reached the top of the stairs. She placed a small kiss on Maureen's lips, "I didn't think I was ever going to get out of there!" She said as she caught her breath.

"How'd it go?" Maureen asked as they walked inside.

"Alk! He's so gross! All he wanted to do was fuck me, he's such a pig. But at least it will get my parents off my back for awhile. I don't know why they want me to date him; he's so arrogant and pigheaded!" Ana's parents had been trying to set her up with this other Doctor for months, but Ana always made up some excuse to get out of it, but she was running out excuses, and her parents were getting worried about her, so she decided to go out with him just to do some damage control.

"You know sometimes I just want to shout to them, 'I'M SEEING SOMEONE!' But they'll never accept it, they'll say they do, but they won't. I hear them talk about gays all the time, and they are so homophobic it's scary."

Maureen placed a hand on Ana's shoulder, "I'm sorry, hon."

"It's ok, I'm used to it, but they think I'm unhappy because I'm single, when really I've never been happier, and definitely not single," She said pulling Maureen into a hug.

EOEOEOEOEO

"You think we can ditch this place yet?" Liv asked as she and Elliot glided around the dance floor.

"Yeah, we've been here, what…two hours? That's enough celebration, right? Besides Don knows that the girls come home tomorrow. He was probably just happy that we even came." He said as he placed a kiss on her lips, "Let's go tell him we're leaving."

"Ok and then go to the hospital?" She asked.

"Liv…you want to crash their goodbye party?" Elliot asked.

It was a ritual in the hospital that when ever someone gets released, the night before all the sick children have a big party, and they stay up late, and watch movies. Only patients, no one else allowed.

Olivia thought about it for a minute, but when she felt Elliot's hand rub inappropriately over her, "You think they'll be okay, right?" She asked as her skin began to heat up.

"I think they'll be fine," He whispered into her ear, and Olivia swallowed hard.

"Some one is going to see, us." Olivia warned as Elliot's lips hovered over her neck, and his hands rounded her smooth rump.

"Well then I suggest we get out of here." Elliot said as he kissed on the hard on the mouth.

"Jesus, Elliot. How do you make me have an orgasm by simply just kissing me?" She asked as she felt her belly so warm and built up, that if she didn't have him soon, she was going to be in pain.

Elliot looked at her, and pressed his growing member up against her, "We need to get out of here pronto," he pronounced.

"I hear you can see the whole city up on the roof." She said seductively, pulling on his tie.

"I love how your mind works, Olivia soon-to-be Stabler." He said as he grabbed her hand and led her out of the room.

"Olivia soon-to-be Stabler, I like the sound of that."

He stopped by the entrance to the roof and guided her against the wall, kissing her with his warm, and already swollen lips, "Me too, Liv. Me too."

a/n: only one more chapter left...


	25. Chapter 25

**a/n: First off i'm so sorry for the delay, my muse decided to take a vacation the past month on this one. **

Chapter 25

"I want ice keem!!" Ella yelled as ran into the house. Normally Olivia would tell her, 'absolutely not, ice cream was not a breakfast food'. Today however; oh today they could have the world if they asked for it.

Elliot carried Ava out of the Lincoln Navigator; she had fallen asleep on the ride home, "Should I bring her up to her room?" Elliot asked as he entered the house.

She nodded because she didn't trust herself to speak.

He looked at Olivia and knew that she was already in tears, but happy tears. Her babies were home, they were safe, and most importantly they were healthy. They wanted to throw an enormous welcome home party for the girls; however their immune systems were still not back to normal and it would take awhile before they were. Olivia promised herself that for their next birthday she was going to go all out. Ponies, rides, cotton candy, and crafts would be some of the things that she was planning.

Ella sat at the island in the kitchen with the biggest bowl of ice cream she had ever laid eyes on, "Welcome home, baby," Olivia said as she placed a huge kiss on her forehead.

"I have ice kreem every day, Mommy?" Ella asked her eyes bright as the sun.

"We'll see." Olivia said smirking.

"Hey! Welcome home, Ella!" Lizzie said as she ran into the kitchen, Dickie right on her tail.

"Welcome back munchkin!" Dickie said giving Ella a high five.

Olivia and Elliot decided to let the twins stay home from school in honor of the girl's homecoming. Maureen also got the day off of work, and Katie was home anyway, unable to start school again for another semester.

"I missid dis house!" Ella said looking around at everything.

"Missed," Olivia corrected, "And this house missed you too." She said placing a kiss on her cheek.

"No more hossypal, Mommy?" She asked.

"No more hospital, baby."

Ella's eyes lit up, "Ava no more hossypal too?"

Dickie and Lizzie let out a small, "Awe."

"No more hospital for Ava either." Olivia responded.

"Yay!" Ella exclaimed placing a huge spoonful of ice cream into her mouth.

EOEOEOEOEO

"Jesus, Liv," Elliot mumbled as Olivia shifted down on his rock hard member. His hands were clenched on the sheets, and it was taking everything he had not to scream out in pure joy. He moaned loudly when she moved her hips up and down pulling him deeper and deeper inside of her.

"Shhhh," She whispered against his burning neck, "Every single one of your children is in this house right now," she said as her lips burned when they came in contact with his.

"Fuck," was all he could muster out, because words didn't make sense, children were the farthest thing from his mind, and all he could fucking think about was how Olivia was on top of him riding him like she was a God damn cowboy, "You're so beautiful, you know that?" He said as he ran his hands between their bodies and cupped her mound, "And I'm not the screamer,"

He should have known better. He should have known that Olivia would do something to make him loose his shit. He felt her palm cup him and her fingers reach back and rub along his ass, sending his body into the most intense orgasm he had ever felt, "HOLY SHIT!" He yelped unable to control it, "Fuck, Jesus, OLIVIA! Mother fucking fuck!" He screamed and at the time he didn't care who heard him. All he cared about was the sensation running through his body, and that Olivia was doing it to him.

He was going to cum any second, and he knew he was going to scream again, so he tried to find a pillow, or a sheet, or something to muffle his voice, however all he found was her shoulder, and when she kept touching him like that all he could do to keep from screaming was bite her, hard on the shoulder.

And when he was done he removed his lips from hers, only to find out that maybe had had clenched his teeth a little to hard on her, "Oh my God, Olivia I'm so sorry," He said when he saw the blood begin to leak from the teeth marks.

Olivia smiled, "its ok, I'm glad you enjoyed it that much," She said kissing him hard on the mouth, "So much for me being the screamer, huh?"

Elliot chuckled and sucked on her sore shoulder, licking up the blood that was breaking free from her skin, "You think anyone heard?" He asked afraid that one of his children heard them having sex.

"God I hope not. The girls are sleeping and the older kids are too far away from us."

Elliot couldn't help but smile, she said the older kids, not HIS kids. She probably didn't even notice it, but it had meant the world to him, "I'm in love with you," He said kissing her neck, "100 percent, till death do us part, in. love. With. You." he said kissing her along her neck, and down her abdomen. He sucked on her belly button and couldn't wait till he made it farther down her stomach.

He was almost to her core with his swollen lips when they heard the intercom, "Mommy? Daddy?"

Olivia rolled over quickly pulling Elliot off of her, and trying to regain some composure. She pressed the intercom button, "Yes honey?" She asked not sure exactly who it was.

"Mommy, me want ice keem!"

_Ella._

"Ella definitely got your sweet tooth, huh?" Elliot asked.

'What are you doing?' She mouthed to him, needing him to finish what he started.

"Ella, sweetheart, its bed time,_" and more importantly Mommy and Daddy time,_ "No more ice cream."

"Daddy bring me ice keem?" The sound of her sweet voice made Elliot laugh.

"Ella, baby. Daddy is going to come in and read you a story ok?" Elliot said leaning into the intercom.

"Yay! Ok Daddy!"

"You going to be able to hold out till I get back?" He asked Olivia as he got dressed.

"You're going to leave me here," She asked as her hands ran over her thighs, stroking herself very gently, "like this?"

Elliot growled at her, "I'll make it the fastest story in history." He said leaning over and placing a hard kiss on her lips.

"You better." She said removing her hands from her thighs and placing them above the covers.

EOEOEOEO

"Daddy?" Ella asked her eyes wide as could be.

"Yes, baby?" He answered squeezing her body gently on his lap.

"I don't want you to ever weave," She said running her small hands over his cheeks, "I wuv you, Daddy, and I'm gwad you found us." He noticed a small a tear slide down her face and he turned her small body so that he could envelope his body in hers and slowly rock her.

"Daddy is never going to leave you, baby. Ever. I love you way too much." He said placing a kiss on her forehead.

"You wuv mommy too?" She asked her eyes full of worry.

"Oh, sweetheart, I love your mother more than words can say."

"Did mommy hurted you?" She asked.

Elliot eyebrows raised, the question sending him for a loop, "I don't understand baby, why would mommy hurt me?"

"Cause I hearded you screaming. And say not nice words, Daddy." She warned.

Elliot's pupils dilated as it occurred to him what she was referring too, "Ah, no Daddy did not use nice language. I'll have to work on that," He said nervously.

"And mommy no hurted you?" She asked him questionably.

"No baby, your mother definitely did not hurt me, not at all." He said unable to hide his silly grin.

"I no dink so, Daddy. Mommies don't hurt, mommies help. Right Daddy?"

"Right baby," Elliot said, and wished to God that all mothers could be like Olivia. Unfortunately for him and Olivia they had seen the worst case scenarios, the ones where the mothers did hurt their children, their husbands, their family…

He pulled Ella into his chest wrapping his strong arms around her, wanting nothing more than to protect her from all the worlds harm.

"You and Mommy wrestling, Daddy?" Ella asked innocently.

Elliot couldn't help but laugh, "Uh…"

"Maeen and Ana wrestle all da time Daddy. But Maeen say I can't wrestle until my hair is gray! But Daddy, I don't even have any hair!" She said as her hand rubbed over her bald head, "And Mommy said dat I can't go sneakies into Maeens apatatment anymo."

Elliot couldn't reply right away because his jaw was on the floor. _What did she just say? No, she certainly couldn't mean, what I think she meant, right? _ A million things ran through Elliot's head. So much information in such a short amount of time.

"Ok El-Bell, time for you to go nite-nite." He said placing Ella down in her bed and placing a kiss on her forehead.

"Nite-nite, Daddy. I wuv you."

"I love you too, baby girl."

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"You look like you've just seen a ghost." Olivia said when she saw Elliot return to their bedroom, "Everything Okay, Elliot?"

"You knew, didn't you?" When Elliot saw the dumbfounded look on Olivia's face he continued, "About Maureen and Ana. You knew."

"Ahhh…" Olivia said sitting up and running her hands through her long hair, "Yeah, I know. Did she tell you?"

Elliot shook his head and sat on the bed, "No, Ella just did."

Olivia sighed, "That girl's mouth is too big."

"Does she know you know?" He asked.

"No."

"Ana, huh?" He said getting under the covers, "She's a nice girl." He said with a smile.

Olivia smiled, "Oh my God. You're happy about this aren't you?" She said slapping him in the stomach, "You're happy because it means she won't be bringing home any guys with piercing, and tattoos, and guys that are…filled with sperm." She said with a giggle.

Elliot laughed, "So you remember that creep Devon? I mean, she always brought home the guys that made me want beat the crap out of. Now, Kathleen she brings home the dumb ones, that Kurtis is a character; but at least they are honorable, and will treat her right."

"So you're okay with this?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be? She's my daughter as long as she is happy, I'm happy."

Olivia slipped her arms around his waist, "You're wonderful, you know that?"

Elliot smiled, "You thought I was going to hit the roof, and that is why you didn't tell me." He stated.

Olivia took a deep breath, "Yeah, but also because I was hoping that Maureen would tell you and it's not really my place." She said rubbing her hands down his shoulders and kissing along the back of his neck.

"Maureen told Ella that she wasn't allowed to, 'wrestle' until she was gray."

Olivia laughed, "Yeah I know, I wanted to thank her for that."

"I want to marry you."

"You better."

"Can we set a date already?"

"As soon as the girls are healthy enough to walk down the aisle." She said placing her lips firmly to his.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Lizzie knocked on Dickie's door, "Open up D!" She screamed like a school girl.

"What? I'm trying to sleep here." He said rubbing his hands through his untamed mop.

"Oh my God, Dickie! Owen just text me, and you will never believe what he said!"

"Like Oh my God! What did he say?" Dickie mocked in a teenage girl fashion.

Lizzie sent him a death glare, "Ok fine, I won't tell you what Jasmine said." She said and smugly walked away.

"Wait! What?? What did she say?" Dickie exclaimed nearly jumping up and down. Jasmine was the only girl that could match up to Olivia's beauty. He knew he had to get over Olivia as it was not so cute anymore that he had a crush on her, it was perverted.

Lizzie smiled and turned around, "That she thinks you are cute! She told Owen that she wanted to go on a double date with us!"

"No way!"

"Yup. So don't make any plans for this Friday okay?"

"You're the best!" Dickie said and pulled Lizzie into a hug.

Lizzie smiled, "Don't thank me, thank Owen. He was the one talking you up to her." She said with a wink.

"Yeah," Dickie said, even though he was grateful to him, part of him couldn't help but think that the only reason he did that was so that he could get into his sisters pants.

"I'm going back to bed," Lizzie said.

"Yeah if you can sleep with all that noise." He said rolling his eyes.

"Yeah what is that anyway?"

"I have no idea. I think the girls are jumping around and stuff."

"At this hour?" Lizzie questioned.

"Well they pretty much slept all day."

"That's true. Alright D, I'm heading to bed. Night."

"Night, Liz."

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Casey sat on her bed holding a box that could change her life forever. She let the tears fall freely, giving up on wiping them away. What she couldn't figure out was the reasons causing her tears. Casey had had many pregnancy scares in her adult life, all of them negative. However; this one…this one was different. This one held to many cards for her future; because she knew that if she was pregnant, it would put the final nail in her and Munch's coffin.

Why could she not stop thinking about Munch? What was wrong with her? She was with Trevor now! It was the logical choice. They were both lawyers…both born in the same decade…he didn't have a crazy weird obsession with JFK.

But still as she sat there in the dark holding the box that she couldn't let herself open, all she wanted was the comfort of John Munch.

EOEOEOEO

KittieKat21: R U going to come visit me this weekend?

SoccerIsLife: Workin on it. Got 2 convince Jimmy 2 drive me there.

KittieKat21: I told u I would pay for ur train tic.

SoccerIsLife: Yeah I know…So what r u doing up so late?

KittieKat21: Can't sleep.

SoccerIsLife: Liv and your Dad keeping you up again?

KittieKat21: Ew gross…but yeah.

SoccerIsLife: Man those 2 r animals!

KittieKat21: You really think I wanna talk about this?

SoccerIsLife: LOL. Alright babe, I gotta go. I call you tomorrow. Love you.

KittieKat21: Night. I love you too.

Kathleen smiled as she shut off her computer thinking of Kurtis. Being away from school was harder than she thought it was going to be, or rather maybe it was being away from Kurtis that was making it so hard.

She wanted to go talk to Maureen but she knew that she got called into work. Kathleen was feeling guilty about going back to school next semester, as much as her 21 year old selfish self was begging to go back.

She was thinking about transferring to a closer college, but she was going to miss all her friends, and especially Kurtis. She pulled the covers back on her bed and climbed in; hoping sleep would stop the constant battle going on in her head.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

"I'm starving," Liv moaned as she climbed off of Elliot and wrapped the cool sheet around her slender frame.

"Well we did work up quite the appetite," He said as he rolled over and kissed her madly on the mouth covering her body with his.

"That we did," she said smiling at him.

"Come on," Elliot said helping her off the bed. He handed her some clothes as he put his on, "What do you want? Pancakes? French toast? Eggs?" He said as his lips teased the back of her neck.

"Mmmm…on second thought," She said turning so his lips could meet hers, "maybe I just want you." She said as she ran her hands underneath his shirt and gently pushed him against the wall.

Elliot placed his hands on her hips and pulled her closer to him sucking in every last breath, "Come on, I'm starving too." He said releasing her from his grasp.

Only she wasn't so willing to let him go, she firmly pressed her body against his and melded her mouth to his as well, "Just a little longer," she purred into his ear.

Elliot looked at her in shock, they had just made love for the past 3 hours, and here she was wanting to again. Not that he was complaining, because he wasn't; he just knew that his body was spent for the next hour. He kissed her hard on the mouth and trailed his hand down the waist band of her sweats. His fingers found the center and he rubbed his thumb over her clitoris causing her to moan out loud.

He dipped his two fingers into her and swirled them around her sticky hot center, "Jesus Liv, you really can't get enough, can you?"

He felt her smile against his neck and he continued to stroke her. It occurred to him why she needed this so badly. She needed the release. Her girls came home today, and she was holding on to so much stress, so much anger, so many emotions that she just needed to let it go. Elliot plunged his fingers further into her unable to think of a healthier way to let everything go.

"Oh God, El. Right there." She moaned pulling him even closer to her. She could feel her stomach tighten and her legs about to give out from the building orgasm.

"You close, babe?" He asked as he continued his ministrations feeling her contract around his fingers.

"So close," She purred, "so close, just don't stop." She moaned as her mouth hung open against Elliot's neck, and he thought it was the sexiest thing ever.

Elliot placed his lips to hers and she bit down on his when she abruptly came soaking his fingers. He pulled his fingers out of her and brought them to his lips sucking on them gently. He then pressed his lips to hers.

"Thank you," She whispered.

"Any time…and I mean any time." He said placing a kiss to her forehead, "Pancakes? French toast? Omelet?"

"French toast." She said kissing him on the mouth and leading them out the door.

**a/n: FYI i know i said that this was going to be the last chapter; however i changed my mind :)**


	26. Chapter 26

**a/n: Hope i didn't take too long to update! My new work schedule is KILLING me...ug. Anyways, thanks to everyone who is still reading and reviewing this! It means a lot to me...so double thanks!**

Chapter 26

3 weeks later…

"NOOOOO!" Ava screamed kicking off her shoes and throwing them against the wall, "You said no more hossypal!" She cried as tears fell down from her saddened brown eyes.

Olivia's heart broke and she felt awful that Ava thought she had lied to her; however she wasn't going to put up with this temper tantrum either. Secretly though, she enjoyed it because it meant that she was acting like a normal three year old.

"Ava Donna! You will pick up your shoes right now and put them on!" Olivia demanded, "We are just going for a check up. I promise you that I will stay with you the whole time, and you won't be sleeping over, okay?" Olivia said calming her voice as she wiped away the tears that spilled from her little girls eyes.

Ava thought about it for a minute before she screamed, "NO!" and ran away.

Olivia put her hands on her hips completely flabbergasted from her daughter's tantrum. The girls had never, _ever_acted out this way and she honestly didn't know how to handle it. She took a deep breath and followed the stamping feet.

Ava was sitting on her bed holding her Ariel pillow close to her chest. Olivia walked over and knelt down to her daughter, "Ava, honey. Tell me what is wrong. Why don't you want to go see Ana and Maureen?"

"Day gonna hurt me, mommy." She sobbed, "You say I no be sickies anymore! But we ownwy go to da hosspal when we sickies." She hiccupped out.

Olivia sighed and climbed up onto the bed, pulling Ava on her lap, "Honey, this time we are going to the hospital so that you _don't_ get sickies."

Ava stopped crying and looked up at her mother, "We don't have to go sweepies dare?"

"No, sweetie. No more sleeping at the Hospital."

"Pinky sear?" The girl said holding out her little pinky.

"Pinky_swear_." Olivia said grasping her finger.

"Okay den…" Ava said climbing off of her mother.

"Wait, honey. Time out for throwing your shoes. That was not nice."

"I sworry, mommy." She said fluttering her eyelids and sticking out her bottom lip.

Olivia had to control herself so that she didn't laugh, "I know you are, but you still did it. So three minutes in the chair."

EOEOEOEOEO

"Ava being bad," Ella said as Elliot helped her into her shoes.

Elliot groaned, "Yeah."

"She frew her shoes at Mommy!"

"Yeah, that was not nice." Elliot said finally getting her tiny foot into her shoe.

"She scaed, Daddy."

"Yes honey, I know she's scared."

"Mommy make her all better?" She asked as she attempted to put on her coat.

"I hope so," Elliot said helping her as her arm got lost somewhere in the sleeve.

"Mommy will make her better. Mommy good at dat!" Ella said proud of her mother.

"Yes she is." Elliot said with a smile and placed a kiss on Ella's forehead. He hoped everything was going alright upstairs. He saw the look of panic and fear in Olivia's eyes when Ava threw her shoes. He let out a small laugh when he realized that she had inherited his temper.

"Okay, we're all ready." He heard Olivia say and appear in front of him with a much happier Ava.

"Everything go okay?" He whispered in her ear, and while he was there he placed a seductive kiss on her neck. He felt the vibrations of her giggle against his lips, it was the sexiest thing ever.

"Yup, everything is fine. Had to give her a time out though."

"She has my temper," He said as he helped Olivia into her coat.

"I know." She said with a smile and patted him on his cheek while giving him a small kiss on the lips.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"Ana!" Ava screamed and went running towards the young girl, "I misseded you!!"

Olivia and Elliot turned to look at each other with a look of surprise on their faces, "Could have fooled me from her stunt earlier," Olivia whispered.

"Hello my sweethearts," Ana said giving the girls hugs.

"Hi, Maeen!" Ella said when she saw Maureen. Maureen picked her up and swirled her around.

"Hello, munchkin." She said and placed her down.

"Me next!" Ava said running over to Maureen.

"Okay," Maureen said and picked her up and swirled her, "Hi Liv, Hi Daddy!" She said putting her down and walking over to them and giving them hugs.

"Hi, honey."

"Hi, Maureen." Liv said and they took a seat in the chairs provided.

"We not stayin!" Ava spat out, placing her small hands on her hips.

"No sweepies!" Ella spat out as well, her stance identical to her sisters.

Maureen smiled and looked over to Olivia, "No n-a-p today?" She asked.

Olivia laughed, "That's what happens when your father schedules their appointments right in the middle of their nap time," Olivia said with a laugh.

"Okay, well we just need to draw some blood and run a few tests and then you guys can get outta here." She said with a grin.

"Sounds good," Olivia said as Ella climbed up into her lap.

EOEOEOEOEO

"I love your Dad and Liv," Ana said to Maureen, "I mean I have never seen two people more in love…or so hot for each other."

Maureen laughed, "Catch them making out again?"

Ana blushed, "I think they were doing more than just making out…" Ana said laughing as she filled out some forms.

"Ew! Ana! That's my Dad you're talking about!"

"Well I can't help the fact that they're horn dogs!" She said laughing at Maureen's embarrassment, "That must run in the family," She joked wrapping her arms around her waist and placing small kisses on the back of her neck.

"Ana, stop! Someone's going to catch us." She warned but giving in to her feminine touches.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Elliot couldn't get her in the on-call room fast enough, "Fuck," He mumbled as he tried to unbutton her jeans shutting the door with his foot.

"We should not be doing this," Olivia gasped feeling Elliot's hands already on her panties.

"Fucking jeans," Elliot growled as he placed hot kisses on her neck sending her body spiraling to the point of no return. "You know what these jeans do to me," He said, his breath so sticky hot that she wasn't sure if she was going to make it to the final event, "Do you know how fucking fantastic these jeans are?" He said as he finally pulled them down and backed Olivia up into the door.

"So fantastic that you want to rip them off of me every time you see me in them?" She said in a low huffy voice.

"Well they do look better around your ankles," He said with a cocky grin and she slapped him the stomach playfully.

"Fuck, El," She panted as she felt his fingers slide into her slippery core. She kissed him hard on the mouth before pausing momentarily, "Look at me for a sec," She demanded.

He opened his eyes immediately, willing to do anything she requested at this moment, "Mmm?"

"I'm scared," She whispered as she held his stare.

He knew this already because he was scared himself. The girls were getting tested to let them know if the treatment had actually stopped the cancer or if had just delayed it for awhile. While they had been told that everything was going well there was still that chance that the leukemia could come back…and that chance was a scary thing. There is nothing scarier then the thought of losing your children and thought has haunted the hell out of them for too long.

"I know me too," He whispered.

"Okay," She said crashing her lips back on his. She just needed him to know what she was feeling and she felt a sigh of relief when he confessed to feeling the same way as she did, "I need you."

"I know," he said pushing his body tightly up against hers. His throbbing erection pressing hard against her hip and she wanted nothing more than for him to press it as far up inside of her as it would go, "I need you too." He said placing his hot lips against hers.

His hands framed her face as she undid his pants pulling them down along with his boxers. He placed his hands back into her hot core, "You're so wet," He panted placing kisses along her neck.

"Jesus, Elliot. You're going to make me lose it before we even get it," She said with a little laugh, but was quickly ended and turned into a small scream when he pressed himself deep inside of her in one quick thrust, "Fuck," She moaned as she felt him slide through her.

"You're so tight," He moaned as he slipped in and out of her, "With all the sex that we have, how do you manage to stay so tight?"

Olivia flung her head back and gripped her hands tightly on Elliot's back, "Exercises."

"Exercises?" He asked and growled when he saw her nod yes, "Jesus that is the hottest thing I have ever heard. You're going to have to show me how you do these exercises," He said as he panted and felt the beginnings of an intense orgasm begin to build.

He pressed her even further into the door as he grinded into her. He lifted her up a bit and she quickly wrapped both of her extremely long and tan legs around his waist causing him to slide deeper into her. Her moaning was becoming erratic and he knew that she was close. The sound that left her lips made him almost cum immediately. He placed his hand between them stroking her clitoris with his thumb and sending her so far into oblivion that her eyes rolled back and she called out his name.

He quickly covered her lips with his own in an attempt to keep her a little quiet. He twirled and rubbed her nub until he knew she was going to blow. He slowed down his pace and told her to look at him, "I want to see you when we come," He gasped as he felt her muscles contract around him, "Fuck, Liv…" he moaned and they both looked at each other and both knew they were not going to last any longer.

He moved deeper and faster into her the extra weight of her body on his only gave him a more satisfying feeling. He had the sexiest woman in the world coming undone around him, if he wasn't the luckiest man alive than he didn't know who was.

He felt her pool around him and he released himself immediately into her, groaning through every spasm and vibration that ran through his body. She clenched her ankles together along his back so tightly when she came that he was sure he was going to be bruised…not that he minded, he thought it was the sexiest thing ever that he could make her do that.

EOEOEOEOEO

"Oh my God, Elliot. We are terrible!" Olivia said as she buttoned her jeans.

"I can't help it that you are so sexy and incredibly beautiful. You make it impossible for me to keep my hands to myself." He said as his hands ran up the front of her shirt. The touch of her burning hot skin was still sending shivers up his spine.

"Well, you're not so bad yourself, Stabler." She said turning towards him and giving him a hot kiss.

"We should probably get back; the girls are probably almost done."

"Shit," Olivia said as she checked her watched. "That took longer then I thought it would."

"Why thank you." Elliot said with a bow and solute.

Olivia placed her hand on the doorknob and turned to Elliot before she opened it, "I really love you, Elliot." She said as she placed a kiss on his lips.

He put his hands around her waist, "Well I'm glad, because I'm hopelessly, completely, in love with you." He placed his hands on the back of her neck and she placed her hands around shoulders and let out a soft moan, "I think this is what got us into trouble in the first place," He said with a laugh and the two headed out of the door.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Ella and Ava were sitting up on the metal examination table waiting for Olivia and Elliot. Ana and Maureen were finishing filling out their forms when Ella said something that made their head spins.

"Guess what guys? Mommy and Daddy wrestle like you guys wrestle!"

Ana and Maureen's faces didn't even get to turn red before Olivia and Elliot walked in as if on cue. All they could do was just stare at each other in complete and absolute mortification. What they didn't realize was that Elliot and Olivia were just as mortified as they were. Thank God Doctor Ross walked in with the results before any other words were spoken.

"And how are my favorite patients today?" He said as he took a seat on the stool next to the girls.

"Good," they said in unison.

"That's what I thought, because that is what your tests showed." He said handing them each a sticker. He turned to Olivia and Elliot, "Everything is going wonderful. Their T-Cells are up, they seem to be taking very well to the bone marrow, I mean we couldn't have asked for a better prognosis."

Before the tear even fell from Olivia's eye, Elliot was offering her a tissue, "That's great news!" He said rubbing her shoulders. Olivia leaned into him and held on for support. She couldn't stop the tears from falling.

"Why you crwying, Mommy?" Ella asked confused.

Olivia lifted up her head from Elliot's shoulder and wiped her tears with the tissue that Elliot had offered, "Because I'm so happy, honey." She said and stood up and wrapped both of her arms around both of them, "Because I'm so happy."

EOEOEOEO

"We can go to da Zoo tomorrow?!" Ella exclaimed from her car seat in the back of the Lincoln Navigator.

"Yup!" Olivia said smiling back at the two girls who had smiles from ear to ear. She glanced over at Elliot whose eyes were focused on the road but his smile told her everything.

"Daddy coming too?" Ella asked.

"Sure am, Sweetheart."

"Dickie, Wizzie, Katie, and Maeen, too?" Ella asked full with hope.

Olivia and Elliot looked at each other and frowned, "Well honey, Dickie and Lizzie have school, Katie is going to visit some friends at school, and I think Reen has to work." Olivia said hoping it didn't disappoint the girl's hopes to much.

"Wait, what?" Elliot asked.

It took Olivia a minute or two to figure out why the vein in Elliot's neck was pulsating like he wanted to hit something, "Oh…ah…I thought Katie talked to you."

"Uh, no, she didn't. So who is she staying with? How long is she going for? Is she even well enough to go?"

Olivia placed her hand on Elliot's forearm. She was going to need to him to relax, so she used the only option available to her, her sexuality. She tickled the hair down his arm before lacing his fingers with hers. He looked at her with a sly grin on his face, "Not going to work, Olivia." He said softly. Yeah, he knew what she was up too.

"Okay fine. She's going for three days, and staying at her friends…GIRL friends house."

"Uh huh. And when was she going to tell me?"

Olivia laughed, "About 2 minutes before she left."

"Olivia!"

"What? We know you too well, Elliot. She's a good girl---"

"Her boyfriend goes to that school!"

"Yeah, he does! She's a big girl, Elliot!"

"I can't believe you're defending her! I mean how would you feel if it was Ella or Ava?"

"Elliot," She said shrugging off the comment about the girls, "She's lonely. She misses her friends. She's in college supposed to be having the time of her life, but instead she has been cooped up in her room for weeks! I just wanted to give her a break!"

Seeing Olivia getting all worked up, Elliot relaxed, although he had to admit that she had looked damn sexy all riled up. He looked over to see her cheeks flushed and her breathing erratic. He sighed and laced his hands with hers, "Okay, I'm sorry. You're right." He took their hands and placed a soft kiss on the back of her hand.

"What?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I said I'm sorry," He repeated.

Olivia laughed, "No, after that."

Elliot retracted his mind on what he just said. He let out a laugh and smile, "You're right."

"That's the one." Olivia said with one of her dazzling smiles.

"Girl's remember---" Elliot began but when he turned his head to the backseat he saw both of them sleeping. He laughed, "Were we that boring?" Elliot joked as he turned into their driveway.

"No nap remember?" Olivia said unbuckling her seatbelt.

"Mmmm…" Elliot said with a tone of mischief in his voice, "Think we can carrying them to their room with out waking them up?" He asked with raised eyebrows.

Olivia laughed, "Aren't you tired from our earlier episode?"

"How old do you think I am, Benson? Besides, when I see you…and that sexy, gorgeous, body---"

"Elliot! Shhh!" Olivia motioned to the sleeping girls.

Elliot laughed, "But you want to right…again?"

Olivia let out a deep breath, "Oh hell yeah," She said as she unbuckled Ava's seat belt clips.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Elliot carefully got out of bed, not wanting to disturb Olivia who was sleeping soundly. He watched her as she breathed in and out, the thin sheet that covered her amazing naked body moved down slightly. He stood there for a moment regretting that he had to leave her.

He checked on the girls and panicked slightly when he saw that Ella's bed was empty. He, however smiled when he saw two small bodies in Ava's bed. He placed two gentle kisses on their foreheads and walked out.

He made his way downstairs and put on pot of coffee. He checked his watch and took a seat at the kitchen counter. Maureen should be on her way home from work and he wanted to have a little father-daughter chat with her. He even placed a note on her door just incase she came in through her own entrance, which he assumed that she would.

Now all he had to do was wait…Wait and figure out what the hell he was going to say to her...


	27. Chapter 27

**a/n: To all my wonderful reviewers, you guys are the best and kept me inspired throughout this story. Can you believe it has been over a year that i have been writing this?? It has been such a part of my life and i'm very, very sad to see it end...but all good things must come to an end so...**

CHAPTER 27

"Are you mad?" She asked shyly allowing her long thick blonde hair to cover her nervous face. She almost over poured her cup of coffee, but quickly caught herself before it spilled over.

"Honey, sit down...and no; I'm not mad." Elliot said in warming tone.

Maureen slowly sat down, she didn't know how to have this conversation, especially with her father, "Look Dad---" She began but Elliot waved her off.

"I just want to know one thing: are you happy, Maur? Does…Ana make you happy?"

Maureen still unable to raise her graze from her cup of coffee nodded, "Yes, very much so." She said weakly.

Elliot smiled and grabbed her hand, "Well then that is all that matters."

Maureen lifted her gaze and finally met her fathers, "So…you're supporting me?"

Elliot smiled and couldn't help but laugh, "I've always been your number one supporter."

After a short silence Maureen tucked a piece of hair behind her hair, "Dad?" She asked and Elliot noticed the hint of nervousness in her voice.

"Yeah, Hun?"

"If…if it were Katie or Lizzie…or Ella and Ava for that matter---would you be mad then? I mean I know you Dad, you can't be completely happy for me."

Elliot was shocked at his daughters words, "What? Why would you say something like that Reen?"

She couldn't help the tears that spilled from her eyes, "Because…" she started and took a deep breath trying to get the words out, "because they're your_ real _daughters…" She exhaled loudly, there she got it out.

Elliot sat back and took a deep breath before he was able to speak, "You're my real daughter too. That really hurt Maureen Karen Stabler."

"I didn't mean to hurt you Daddy…but I can't help but feel like ---" But she wasn't able to get the rest of the words out because Elliot had walked over to her side of the table and wrapped his arms around her.

"You are my daughter, Maureen. You always have been and you always will be. I just want you guys to be happy, Reen. Life is…too short to sweat the small stuff. It's to short to deny your heart of what it truly yearns for. It's just too short to be anything but happy."

Maureen smiled at her father, she wondered if maybe the girls close brush with death had maybe opened him a little bit more because she certainly knew that had it been three years ago and he found out about her sexual orientation he would not have handled it so well. She smiled; maybe it wasn't actually about her not being biologically his at all, maybe that had nothing to do with it...

"Happy and healthy," He said taking the last sip of his coffee.

"What about Liv? Is she…um okay with this?" She asked feeling nervous again. She couldn't help but feel that maybe Olivia would switch Doctors, or even kick her out of the house. Fear now cursed through her body as she thought about all the hateful and ignorant things closed-minded people could come up with.

Elliot smiled, "Trust me, she's okay with it." He said placing a kiss on Maureen's forehead, "I gotta get some shut eye. This talk…it was good." He said smiling at her and walking away. He couldn't help but giggle at the fact that Maureen thought Olivia would freak out or something. His smile turned devilish as he recalled a story that she had told him about her college days…

EOEOEOEOEO

"How'd the talk with Maureen go?" Olivia muffled out as she rolled over on her side.

Elliot looked at her confused, "How'd you know?" He asked climbing into the bed with her.

"Come on Elliot, don't insult me." She said pressing her naked body as close to his as it would go. Her breasts squished between them and his hands quickly came out to squeeze them.

"Good," he answered, "but can we not talk about anyone but the two of us for the next…20 to 30 minutes?" He said smiling at her.

"You got it, babe." She answered as she pulled off Elliot's jogging pants and boxers, "Christ what is wrong with us?" Olivia moaned when she realized that she could never have enough of this man.

"We're crazy for each other," Elliot replied crashing his lips back onto hers.

"Got that right." She said as she spread her legs and allowed Elliot to fall in between them.

But that was as far as they got, "Shit," Olivia moaned as she checked her ringing cell, "its Casey."

"Can't she wait?" Elliot pleaded.

"Sorry, babe. This is the third time she is calling me today." She said moving away from him so she wouldn't be distracted.

_"Olivia?"_

"Casey, what's the matter?" Olivia said wide eyed; something was wrong; she knew immediately.

_"Um…can you come over? I ---ah…"_

"I'll be right there." Olivia said already dressed and out the bedroom door; leaving Elliot to wonder what the hell just happened.

Once she got out of the room, she quickly went right back in, "Sorry," she mumbled between their lips, as she pressed a deep kiss on his mouth, "Casey, needs me."

"What about me?" Elliot exclaimed pointing to his massive erection.

Olivia laughed, "I promise I'll make it up to you."

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia pounded on Casey's door, "I swear to God, Casey! If you made me come all the way down here and you are not here---Oh hey." She said when Casey finally opened the door; looking paler than pale.

"Sorry…was in the bathroom," she said opening her door to let Olivia in.

"Jesus Case, you look like shit."

"Thanks Liv," she said with a smile.

They made their way to the couch and sat down, "So what's up, Case?"

"God, I don't even know where to begin," she said rubbing her eyes.

"Let's try from the beginning," Olivia said grasping Casey's hand.

"I think I'm still in love John," she said and her eyes sprang out with tears.

"Awww, Casey." Olivia said wrapped her arm around her friend, "but please don't tell me these tears are for Munch."

"There's more," Casey choked out.

"Oooookay,"

"I'm…I'm…I…ah,"

"Just spit it out, Casey."

Casey cupped her face in her hands, "I'm pregnant, Liv."

"Holy shit."

"Yeah, that's what I kept saying."

"Do you know whose it is?"

Casey slapped her friend in the arm, "Trevor's."

"Wow, Casey. Well, you know I will support you, no matter what you do."

Casey sniffled, "I know, that's just it! I don't know what to do! I just really miss John…I think in love with him. God what is wrong with me!?" Casey placed her head in her hands and took a few deep breaths, "Hey Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you just tell me what to do?" Casey said with a small grin.

Olivia smiled at her friend, "If only life were that easy." She said squeezing her friend tight.

"Sorry for making you come all the way over here," Casey said wiping her nose with a Kleenex, "were you busy?" When Olivia didn't say anything and her face became 10 shades of red Casey just laughed, "Oh my God! Seriously, what is wrong with you guys? Do you ever take a break?"

Olivia laughed, "I guess we're just making up for lost time."

"More like a lifetime!" Casey joked.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

As Olivia made her way up the front steps she couldn't help but notice that the garage light was on. Curious, Olivia slowly made her way over to the window and looked in. She didn't quite know what to think of the site in front of her.

Elizabeth Stabler was making out with her boyfriend. Olivia smiled thinking about being young and in love. She was so lost in thought that she didn't see the joint they were passing back and forth.

The smell; however, hit her like a ton of bricks. It brought back many memories of her college days. She stood there frozen; unsure of what to do. The one thing she knew she shouldn't do was go get Elliot, but she also knew that she was a parent and had to act like one.

She opened up the garage door and quietly walked over to the radio and turned it off; getting the love-stoned teenagers attention, "Olivia!" Lizzie gasped, "I ah! This…uh…this isn't…" she said as Owen dropped the joint to the floor and stepped on it.

"Owen, it's time to go home," she said in a calm voice. The boy looked like he was going to wet himself, and quickly kissed Lizzie on the cheek and ran as fast as he could out of there.

"Liv…I ah…I'm so sorry--"

Olivia held up her hand, "Go to bed, Elizabeth."

"What about my Dad? Are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know." Olivia said honestly.

"I'm sorry, Olivia. I never meant to let you down." Lizzie said as her eyes began to swell.

Olivia pulled her into a hug, "Oh Lizzie, honey. You didn't let me down. You think I was never 16 once? I can't imagine what the past few months have been like for you, not that I'm making excuses for you, because I'm not…but…I trust you Lizzie." She said placing a kiss on the girls forehead, "Now get to bed before I change I mind."

Olivia watched as Lizzie made her way into the house. She stood there in the garage trying to figure out what she was going to do…and that is when her eyes fell upon the joint on the floor. She walked over to it and picked it up. She smiled slightly as she held it in her hands. Oh, how it brought back memories. Dancing Bears and Tye Dye shirts ran through her head. She decided to be a little bit devilish. She found a lighter on the shelf nearby and sparked the thing for old time's sake.

"Olivia!" She heard Maureen call out as she entered the garage.

"Fuck," Olivia mumbled and tried to put the thing out, "I ah…how long have you been there?"

"Since Owen looked like he was going to wet himself," Maureen said with a laugh.

"Look, Maur…um…this isn't…this ah…" Oh God she sounded like Lizzie.

Maureen smiled, "Save it. Let me hit that, I just had a hell of a day." The young blonde said as she closed the garage door.

Olivia looked at her like she had three heads, "What?"

"Don't tell dad…or Lizzie for that matter but when things are really bad at the hospital I come in here and steal Lizzie's stash." She said going over to a tool drawer where the rest of the marijuana was hidden. She took a hit and passed it to Liv, "What brings you here?"

"Just reliving my college days I guess."

"You going to tell on Lizzie?"

"How long have you known about this?" Olivia asked passing the joint back to Maureen.

"They lived in Denver for three years, Liv. Didn't take a long time to figure it out."

This caused a laugh out of Olivia, "Yeah well, if you father finds out he'll kill us, so lets just keep this between you and me, K?"

"K." Maureen said, "Hey…ah Liv?"

"Yeah honey?"

"I know you know about Ana and me…I just…are you disappointed?"

"Reen, honey. No I'm not disappointed. I love you sweetie, no matter what. I love you. I'm happy that you found someone that you can have a connection with. As long as you are happy, I'm happy." She pulled her into a hug, "I just want all my children to be healthy and happy."

Maureen smiled, "I'm not your child, Liv…"

Olivia grinned and hugged her tighter, "Yeah, yeah you are."

EOEOEOEOEOEO

"Shhhh…."

"You shhhh…."

Laughter.

"They're going to wake up!"

"Keep your voice down."

"I'm starving!"

More laughter.

"Where is the damn light switch?"

"Where is the damn fridge?"

Eruption of laughter.

"What's so funny?"

"Daddy?!"

"Elliot!?"

Both girls look at each other in fear; they are so dead.

"What are you guys doing? And why are you making so much noise?" A groggy Elliot asked as he flipped on the light; regretting it as it burned his eyes.

"Nothing, just some girl talk. Go back to bed, Elliot." Olivia quickly said; trying to get rid of him as quickly as possible. She then whispered something into his ear that seemed to be inappropriate for Maureen's ears, as she watched her dad smile and practically run up the stairs to the bedroom.

Olivia looked at Maureen and they fell to the floor in laughter.

"Good one, Momma Liv."

"Momma Liv?" Olivia asked with a questioning look.

"Yeah, you like it?"

Olivia smiled, "Yeah, I love it; and I love you."

EOEOEOEOEOEO

"Here take these," Lizzie said and placed the napkins in Ella's hands, "Put them on the table."

"Me help too!" Ava whimpered as Lizzie and Dickie prepared a breakfast feast.

"Here peanut, take these." Dickie said giving the girl some spoons.

"Mommy and Daddy are going to be mad," Ella stated as she placed the napkins around the table.

"Why is that?" Dickie asked curious.

"We not to use da stove!!" She replied, as if the answer was so simple.

Dickie smiled, "That is true; but I got special permission to use the stove; plus I'm old enough…besides you want french toast right?"

The girls jumped up and down, "YAY!" They screamed loudly; breaking Lizzie and Dickie's eardrums.

"So you think Liv is going to kill you?" Dickie asked when the girls were out of ear shot.

Lizzie took a deep breath and flipped the piece of french toast in the pan, "I honestly don't know what she's going to do, D."

"I think she'll be okay. I mean you might get grounded for a little bit; but I don't think she'll tell Dad."

"I hope not. He would totally freak."

"I told you not to keep smoking in the garage."

"I know, I know!" Lizzie pouted, "Okay, we're just about done. Go tell the girls to wake up Mom and Dad."

"What?" Dickie asked surprised.

"I just called Liv, Mom didn't I?"

Dickie smiled, "Yeah."

"Hmmph. Maureen said she was going to start calling her Momma Liv. Although that was last week and I haven't heard her say it once…"

"You think that would be okay?" Dickie asked.

"I think so…I mean I don't think Mom would like it so much…but if the shoe fits---"

"Wear it," Dickie finished for her, "Yeah…so Momma Liv it is."

"It has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?" Lizzie and Dickie both grinned, "I'm going to go wake Katie and Maureen," she said smiling all the way down the hall.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

The whole Stabler clan sat around the dinning room table as they finished the rest of their breakfast. There were so many conversations going on Olivia and Elliot couldn't hear their own thoughts. Elliot smiled as he watched his children interact. He could not have been happier. All of his children were happy, healthy and under one roof. As he reflected on the past year; the struggles, the good times, the hard times, the uncertainty of the girl's future, a wave of intense love and devotion flowed through his body. He had to do something, and he needed to do it immediately.

He leaned over and grabbed Olivia's hand, "July 28th," he whispered.

Olivia looked at him like he was on crack, "What?"

"July 28th; let's get married. Marry me, Olivia." He said with his famous grin.

Her eyes went wide and filled with tears, "Yes," she whispered and turned to him and placed her mouth on his for a soft, yet passionate kiss.

Elliot clinked his glass with his spoon, "Can I have everyone's attention?" He asked and the whole room quieted, "I'd like to make an announcement," He said looking around the table and then at Olivia, "Olivia and I have set a date for our wedding!"

Gasps and cheers were heard around the room, followed by applause, and "When? When?"

Olivia and Elliot both smiled at each other, "July 28!" Olivia blurted out.

"Oh my God! That's great!" Maureen said and got up from her chair to hug the pair. The rest of the group got up and followed suit.

Before they knew it they were all being embraced in a group hug. Maureen and Katie were already making plans, telling Olivia how she should do her hair, and that they should start shopping for a dress right away. Olivia couldn't help but smile as she held her family in her arms. Tears swelled in her eyes; finally she let herself breath. The past was in the past and she finally had the strength to look towards the future. She hadn't allowed herself to think of the future since the girls were diagnosed. But now…now, she dreamed of a future that was filled with love, health and happiness. She dreamt _**of**_a future, and that quite possibly was the greatest dream she ever had. Olivia caught Elliot's eyes amongst the huddled bodies; she mouthed, 'I love you,' and he replied 'till death do us part.'

FINIS

**a/n: Once again, thank you to everyone who has stuck by this story (and trust me not too many people have) so if you are one of the few that braved it out, thank you thank you thank you thank you! I hope i didn't let you guys down!!!**


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